On The White House Lawn

It happened on our lawn.

Not only was it tacky.  Not only did the grift include paying the fighters in the felon's personal crypto.  Not only were the military personnel (fit and clean shaven) used (illegally) for political capital.  Not only did the fly over shake buildings in DC and delay flights out of National Airport (without prior notification of the airlines, passengers, or air traffic control).  Not only were the lights bright enough to cause a pilot to file an incident report (because he couldn't see) with the FAA.

Nope, that's not all.  At the end, the winner decided to opine on Michelle Obama's gender.  The head of the UFC smiled.  There were cheers.  

All of this happened in front of the people's house.  A president created a situation that allowed (and appreciated) a foul remark about a woman to go unchallenged.  That woman lived for eight (exemplary) years in that house.  It was her lawn.  

On FFOTUS's birthday, he defiled it.  

If your neighbor's animal crapped on your lawn, you'd do something about it, right?  As Nicole Wallace pointed out, none of the corporate sponsors whose banners decorated the arena have spoken out about the outrageous behavior.  I searched and found that I don't patronize most of them - Ram trucks, Budweiser, Monster Energy (there were others).  But there was one place I thought I could make a difference - Scotts Miracle Gro.

I have a conflicted relationship with them.  I usually buy untreated (but excellent) soil and add my own amendments.  Especially for the school garden, it's the most cost effective way to grow.  I don't have grass, but Scotts line of grass related products is extensive and profitable.  

Their advertising is ubiquitous, featuring responsible, middle class, home owning family men, none of whom are shown shirtless.  I get the trucks and the beer and the energy drinks.  I don't get Scotts Miracle Gro, not one little bit. 

That this obscenity occurred on a lawn makes their lack of response even more egregious.  

I went to the computer, found the website, looked high low, clicked on all the links I thought would be relevant, and finally found  Send us an email.   Obediently, I clicked.  And, after several failed attempts to load the page, this is what I found:

            So sorry.
We're currently updating this site.

It won't take long, so check back soon.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

- The Scotts Company

There's a phone number I can call in the morning.  There's a land address to which I can send a (soon to be more expensive) letter or postcard.  Those are at the end of the post if you want them.  They offered a chat option, but this is what I got when I typed how can i comment in the little box:

Agent said  Could you tell me a bit more about what you'd like to comment on? Are you looking to leave feedback about a product, an article, your order, or something else? Let me know so I can guide you!

You said  corporate response to ufc fight

Agent said I’m sorry, I can’t help with that request.       

They really don't want to hear from me.     

But I needed to write about the cowardice of executives who do nothing when their advertising is used to promote the most vile of insults.  There's no walking this back.  Target lost $12 billion when they abandoned DEI. This fool insulted the most admired woman in America in front of the people's house and got paid to do so. 

Some of the money that went through FFOTUS's crypto company on its way to rewarding the slimiest (expression of freedom of) speech imaginable originated in The Scotts Company's coffers.  If they deplore such behavior they should say so.  

Actually, they should have said so already.  

Their silence speaks volumes.  I'm no longer conflicted.  I hate them.

And yes, I promised to post the address and phone number but I've just spent five fruitless minutes searching for them, all to no avail.  Have I mentioned that I deplore them?

I Found The Joy

The World Cup was barely on my radar.  

Then it started. 

Suddenly I'm cheering for Uruguay and searching for the exact location of Cape Verde (which is now Cabo Verde and has always been about 350 miles off the coast of Guinea Bissau).  

I can type during hydration breaks and half times.  Otherwise, I'm mesmerized.

Almost like I was mesmerized on Friday night, watching the scaffolding, and the rain, and the workers outside The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.  

But that's a post for another day. The Iranians and the Kiwis are about to go at it again.  

Gotta go.

I Got It Back

Big Cuter learned about MJ in preschool.  He was a devoted fan until Jordan's last (championship) game with the Bulls in 1998.  His loyalty never transferred to the team.

We were living in Marin by then, and the 1990's Warriors were uninspiring, to say the least.  The 49'ers, on the other hand, were the winningest NFL team of the decade, and his fandom stretched to cover every aspect of his life except, perhaps, his underwear.  

He moved to the East Coast and took his 9'ers gear with him.  He was a regular at the neighborhood sports bar which showed their games.  He dragged us to one here in Tucson in what he said was a crucial situation.  Sunday game times were sacrosanct; call only if you wanted to talk football. 

We knew that Queen T was the one when he shared a photo of them hiking while his team was on tv.  Granted, they weren't playing that well and being disappointed had dampened his affections just a bit, but still.... these were his 49'ers.

I envied him his devotion.  I didn't think I had it.  I came to the Cubbies in my twenties and I love them still.  That's felt like my longest connection until this past week.  Once I heard the organ in the Garden I was transported back to my childhood on Long Island, when tickets for the family didn't call for a second mortgage, when Daddooooo or Uncle Abby chaperoned one or two of us into the city to see The Knicks. 

They were very good and then they were very bad and I had the Bulls and glommed onto Big Cuter's Warrior's obsession once they moved across the bay and I didn't miss the Kncks at all. Or so I thought.

I've spent the past ten days feeling every bit the New Yorker I am at heart.  Taos Bubbe and I text about it frequently, as does Sister.  OG Anunoby's Indiana University heritage creates a double whammy of affection, as proud alum Little Cuter delights in reminding me.  Big Cuter calls cheering for the Spurs and my New York snark joyfully fills the air.  

I am seriously thinking about investing in a championship t-shirt.  Turns out I do have a childhood sports connection.  It ust took 53 years to reappear.

I Understand It Now

He did it often.  It was commonplace.  Others of his species appreciated it and were willing to join in his enjoyment.  More than once.  It amazed me that he could find something new to see or feel.

There were times I could identify what was on the screen before entering the room.  Not always from the announcers' voices, but from TBG's moans, groans, and cheers of delight.  Watching and re-watching and re-re-re-re-watching certain sporting events made him inordinately happy.  

I didn't really understand it until now.  But I spent the better part of last night watching and re-watching the Knicks come from behind, erase a 29 point deficit, and triumph with 30 seconds of exceptional basketball to end the game.  It made me inordinately happy.

This morning I watched rabid Knicks fan Stephen A Smith tear up recounting his experience on his couch with his kids.  I never watch him willingly; today I awaited him anxiously.  Michael Wilbon called it the most epic collapse he'd ever seen in a championship series, and I enjoyed ever schadenfreud laden moment.  

I watched those last 30 seconds again and again and again all day long.  TBG tried to find something else to watch and I whined until he relented.  The last time I could name more than one player on the Knicks was 1970.  Listening to Let's Go Knicks chanted with the MSG organ's encouragement brought the fervor of those days right back.  

Sister texted me her memories, including specific point totals and players' actions.  She'll happily engage in a Was Game 5 or Game 6 more impressive conversation at the drop of a hat.  She doesn't recognize this new game, calling it football with jumping.  I suppose that's why she gave up and slept through the second half, a fact I plan to use when she goes on too long about her long ago devotion to the team.

And now it's time to watch the hockey finals.  I can't believe I'm watching and enjoying hockey.  As my life continues to expand in unexpected ways,  it's nice to find one that one of those ways amuses me.

 

And Now It's Wednesday

And that sports post is still awaiting ... lurking... hiding in the shadows of my draft folder and seemingly unable to escape.  There's another game tonight and another game tomorrow night (basketball then hockey... yes, hockey) so it will still be relevant if I ever finish writing it.

But it's hard to focus on The Burrow when I'm just feeling sad and overwhelmed and angry at the world.

FFOTUS doesn't think Stephen A Smith has the brainpower to be President.  Rolling Stone attibutes this to racism.  I think it's a doddering old man's go to response when he has no idea what he's talking about.  Whether the Orange Menace's presence at the 3rd game of the NBA Finals caused the Knicks to lose is debatable.  The fact that he fell asleep during the game is just unacceptable.

TBG's medical regime creates unbelievable tiredness and dizziness. This gets in the way of most everything he (or I or we) want to do.  Part of the reason my posting has been sporadic is because nothing is happening.  I don't like leaving him alone; falling is not part of the future I have planned.

It's triple digits and getting hotter here in Tucson.  It was too hot to plant seeds at 9am.  I tried to see The Kiss again last night (Venus and Jupiter touching in the sky.... not really, since they're zillions of miles apart, but to us here on earth it's pretty spectacular) but there were clouds in the early evening when they would have been visible.  My zip code is not being kind to me.

I'll try to recover my good humor and my sanity and anything else I'm missing so that I can be back on a regular schedule once again.  Thanks for your patience as my brain sorts out this new reality.  It's really no fun at all.

Monday, Monday

Are you with me here? The next lyric describes it all - can't trust that day. 

I slept until 9:30. I did the puzzles,  and the 30 minutes of doomscrolling i allow myself each morning, and there were house chores and laundry and a drug store run and suddenly it was 2pm and I had yet to swim (self care for today: 45 minutes in the pool and garden) orshower before TBG's appointment. 

Somewhere in there i was supposed to put the finishing touches on today's post.  That will now appear tomorrow. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

 Explicatory Bloviating

The Big Cuter thinks I should divulge more of myself because, in this medium ("New Media, Gasp" said Princess Myrtle one day) bloviating is encouraged. The Little Cuter is my first follower. It's nice to be loved and supported and mentored by those you've loved and supported and mentored yourself. Maybe that's what G'ma means when she thanks me these days.

Ashleigh Burroughs has been with me since college, when I realized that I was never going to write the great American novel but that, perhaps, Ashleigh would. It's good to have dreams and it's awful when your dreams make your reality seem paltry in comparison - especially when your reality is a good one. Giving Ashleigh her own persona cured that problem lickety-split. Like her namesake from Gone With the Wind, her intentions are stronger than her actions. But that's ok. She's been waiting for just this occasion to shine.

The Edgar Rice Burroughs Martian series kept The Big Guy sane during boring summer jobs in his youth. He read them aloud on Carribbean beaches and at Floridian pool-sides and they prompted a 7 year old reluctant reader to become a literary junkie. Inspiring, exciting, provocative -- I'd be glad if the Burrow meets that standard.

When I really really really like a book I'll try to make it last by rationing the chapters I allow myself to read in one sitting. Herman Wouk's The Winds of Wargot me through my first lonely weeks in graduate school that way. The Hobbitkept me company on a cloudy week near Disney World, and Sam Gamgee and Bilbo Baggins (also great names) have been by my side ever since.  Bilbo loved his burrow home, and never wanted an adventure, and fit right in with the community and his friends and went out and DID SOMETHING SPECIAL anyway. Home should be like that, I think - keep you cozy and toss you right out.

Ashleigh Burroughs is a great writer's name. A burrow is a great place to live and to leave. Living up to the name and enjoying the adventure - that's the challenge. Welcome to Ashleigh Burroughs in the Burrow.

Apologies

Looking back to the very beginning, in April, 2009, I made a promise to post every week day.  Almost all of the 4,463 of them since then have kept to that standard.

Age and caregiving have caught up with me.  I've been sloppy lately.  The Little Cheese has stopped emailing that my screed hasn't posted today; she understands all too well how hard it is now to fit everything into a day that used to have large gaps of empty spaces.

I'm not berating myself.  What has to be done has to be done and it's really not that difficult at all.  It's the always piece that's tearing at the edges of my life. 

I'm lucky to be taking care of a person I love.  We have the resources, financial and familial, to withstand everything they've thrown at us so far.  I have the brains and the bandwidth to coordinate the pills and appointments and protein intake and all the rest of it.

I stop every day and wonder what those without are doing right now.  It didn't take a masters degree, but it did take two hours and several iterations before I came up with the first medication/dosage/time/purpose/end date chart.  And that was once I figuired out that I couldn't possibly keep it all in my head.  

But I was able to think clearly and sort it all out and now I'm on the 7th version of that chart.  I have answers to all the nurses' questions at my fingertips.  I have little paper cups with hours, am and pm, in purple marker outside and the appropriate medications inside.  When he's taken them he turns the cup over, so that we both know what he's done anytime we want to look.  

I've gotten really good at tempting his tastebuds; G'ma's stuffed cabbage was a big hit last night.  Costco chickens keep me easily fed and provide plenty of other culinary opportunities.  Sometimes is chicken on pasta, sometimes it's chicken salad, sometimes it's shredded chicken on one of the bags of salad that have become staples in my kitchen.  

It's all interesting and amusing and exhausting.  

I'll try to post daily, but sometimes I might have to resort to oldies but goodies.... like tomorrow.

Abdulrazak Gurnah

He won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2021.  That would be enough to scare me off had Theft not been sitting on the Large Type shelf (so I could read it under improper lighting, ie my living room), in paperback (so it's not too heavy to hold), with an engaging picture on the front cover.  

I'm still working out the deeper meaning(s) behind the title. 

The obvious one is obvious, obviously. (Sorry, I couldn't resist)  

The others have something to do with love and loss and betrayal and mostly hope and confidence and a generally upbeat sense that life has a purpose and a meaning even as reality tries to smother it.

It's an easy read, even if he's left off the quotation marks.  If I were starting out, I'd create a series of family trees to help me remember who did what to whom, and when, because the prose is so inviting that I read so quickly to see what was coming next that the plot got lost in the rhythm.  

It's a glimpse into modern day Africa, something I don't encounter in my everyday life.  Some of the characters are slipping into my thoughts in the few days since I finished it, carrying on the conversations we started when I had to reread a few chapters to pick up the thread once again.

That didn't bother me.  It gave me a chance to admire the verbiage once again.

Happy Birthday, Sister

Today is Sister's last birthday before she enters the decade her brother and I have inhabited for a while.  She's never stopped reminding us of the fact that she's the spring chicken in the family. 

She claims to have stopped enumerating the years after she turned 39.  You're only as old as you feel makes a lot of sense to me.  It's how I've tried to live my life - hanging on (with my fingertips, at times) to the energy and enthusiasm, tempering it with the comforting knowledge and experience garnered over the years.  

 Act as if you are 17 again just makes me anxious.  I have no interest in going back to my teenage years.  I'm happy to have left the angst and uncertainty and insecurities far behind me.  Adulthood has suited me just fine.

Sister, on the other hand, has had a harder time.  I'm sure 17 feels relatively uncomplicated for her.... if anything in her life can be said to be or have been uncomplicated.  She's a survivor, a rationalist, a self-sufficient human being who has a harder time accepting help than anyone I've ever known.  I finally hit her sweet spot with a Whole Foods after knee surgery delivery of ice cream, chocolate syrup, and vodka.

Of course, I only found out about the surgery after the fact.  Did I mention that she doesn't like asking for help?

She's been the most entertaining person I know and the most aggravating.  She's brilliant and can't seem to get out of her own way.  She's demanding, insistent, and usually right when it comes to everything outside her family.  

She's an activist, taking personal credit for the election of Andy Kim to the Senate (not much of an overstatement, actually), displaying anti-FFOTUS signs in her red neighborhood, flooding our siblings WhatsApp chat with gift links to the NYTimes' political screeds.  

She's complicated and annoying and funny and probably the book-smartest of the three of us.  Here's wishing that the world sends her peace and smiles and more world travels.... and that she comes to realize that her 70's might not be as scary as she imagines.

Happy Birthday!

It Hit Home This Month

Gas prices keep going up and up.  I miss the Prince scholars, but I'm not unhappy saving the twelve miles of traffic to get there.  I've been filling up at Costco, whose membership fee has already paid for itself.  Twenty cents a gallon times twelve gallons times twice a month and we're talking real money here.  

Fabletics adds an individualized tariff expense to each item.  I have no choice but to pay it.  Those tariffs were/are illegal and the money will be refunded. To me?  The one who explicitly paid it?  Hardly.  If it goes anywhere at all it will flow straight to the companies.  Will they then replace the money in my account?  Probably not.

Mexican restaurants all over town are suffering as the price of tomatoes rises.  I'm no longer blanching as I put Egglands Best eggs into my grocery cart; $7 feels reasonable these days.  I fill my basket with all the fruits and melons and berries that appeal to me even though the price tags make me wince.

But what stopped me dead in my tracks was opening this month's bills from Blue Cross/Blue Shield for our Senior Security plans.  My monthly premium went up 30%.  TBG's went up 40%.  

It had to be a mistake, right?  Not so, said the kind woman who answered the phone on the first ring.  "What I've been told is it's the overall industry and rising costs."  

No matter what they tell me, I refuse to believe that the cost of supplies associated with the medical profession has risen 40%.  I know that the professionals and paraprofessionals and uncredentialed but essential staff are not looking at paychecks that are 40% fatter. 

Profits over people.  This is what Daddooooo would call out as HIGHWAY ROBBERY.

When he felt that way, he'd stick it to the man by installing yet another illicit, unauthorized, cheating the phone company outlet.  By the time I left for college, I could make a call from every bathroom and almost every closet in our house.

The older I get, the more things seem to spiral out of control, the more I understand the impulse.  

They Heard Me

I complained and something happened. 

One day after I posted about the absence of signs announcing the Democrats' congressional candidate I saw these all over town:

They are big and cheery and say Arizona; see our flag referenced?

The Democrats in my legislative district are encouraging alternative signage. 

I'm open to suggestions for what I should write. 

Oops

The days get away from me, sometimes. 

I'll be here tomorrow. 

Who Is Running Against Him?

Six long months before Election Day, the Republicans have come to town.  

In the median strips along every major artery, at every intersection with a traffic light, the northwest side of Tucson is awash in cardboard.  Mayoral, congressional, town council, gubernatorial wannabes have their names in red and blue gigantic fonts screaming in my face.

One street has Believe in Peace signs in the median.  Those calm me down after being reminded of all the FFOTUS Followers (Andy Bigg, Juan Ciscomani) trying to attract my attention.

Are there Democrats or Independents or Libertarians or Democratic Socialists vying for my gaze?  Nope, not a one.

In their infinite wisdom, the DCCC or DNC or Ken Martin himself chose Joanna Mendoza to run against Ciscomani for my seat in the House.  No one I know has ever heard of her.  In fact, no one I know even knows of her existence.  Who's running against him? is the typical reaction.  In my post about the rally where Mark Kelly introduced her to invested voters I didn't mention her at all.  

I imagine she's qualified beyond being a Marine veteran and a lesbian activist.  She left a bland impression on those of us in the audience.  I see no mention of her when the local rags (can I still call them that if I read them on line?) write about community events.  

In one of the most vulnerable races in the country (the DCCC moved it up from 5th to 4th) the Democrats' candidate is absent.  According to The Sentinel's coverage of a Conservatives for America poll,

Ciscomani was viewed favorably by 32 percent of those surveyed and unfavorably by 36 percent and had a name ID of 83 percent.

Mendoza, a Marine veteran who previously ran unsuccessfully for the Arizona Legislature in 2020, was largely unknown by those who were surveyed, with only 23 percent saying they were familiar with her name. She was viewed favorably by 6 percent and unfavorably by 3 percent.

I'm going to do everything I can to oust the current occupant of that seat.  I just wish the DCCC were doing the same. 

AI Failed Me

I try to avoid the AI results at the top of the Google search.  Anything that has "there may be errors" as a concluding statement is specious enough to make me question to information. Although the algorithm that sends me the links is also an artificial intelligence, somehow it feels less creepy to find the answer from an original source.

But last night it was raining and I was tired and it was Sunday which meant that the garbage cans needed to be at the curb for our Monday pickup, if Memorial Day was a Waste Management holiday.  My pool company takes only Thanksgiving and the week between Christmas and New Years as vacation days.  Was trash collection on the same schedule?

I picked up my phone as TBG was turning off the inside lights, preparing for bed.  Waste Management Memorial Day pickup was my prompt, and AI told me right away that WM didn't really care about honoring the fallen.  My cans needed to be at the curb.  I was obedient, and we dragged them out under cloudy skies.

I woke up this morning feeling smug.  Ours were the only cans along the street.  Everyone else in the neighborhood thought it was a holiday.  I had done the research.  I knew I was correct.  I drove to Amster's, worked out in her home gym, and drove home to find that our cans had no friends.  No one else had dragged their refuse from the garage or backyard enclosure outside.

My confidence was failing.  Before I began this post, I Googled the same prompt on the laptop.  This time, Waste Management Tucson was the first link, appearing before the AI review finished AI'ing itself onto the screen.  A quick click revealed that, indeed, Waste Management does care about those who lost their lives defending our freedom.  Pickup is delayed one day.

All of a sudden, my cans don't feel so proud of themselves.

All of a sudden, I'm feeling foolish for believing the AI answer.  I know better.

Memorial Day

   First posted in 2009.  

I used to march in the Memorial Day parade. I was dressed in my Brownie uniform, and then in my Girl Scout uniform - replete with those embarrassing anklets. I wore them because the troop leader said we couldn't march without them, they were part of our official uniform.  Marching was too cool to pass up. I wore them and bore the scorn.

All the school bands marched too, and the moms on Benjamin Road provided the materials and the labor to make the capes the high school kids wore. There must have been a military presence there, but I didn't pay enough attention to notice. I was marching and I knew that, all over America, other kids were being Americans and marching, too.

I belonged to something bigger than my family, my school, my town.  

Belonging means different things in different places. In Marin, the Memorial Day parade was always good for a controversy or two. Or three. Should the anti-war protesters walk alphabetically in the main march, or have their own march, or walk 50 yards behind the official march? I especially liked this discussion: should weaponry be allowed?

That was fairly disingenuous even for Marin.

There were bands at this parade, too, and with Bobby Weir as the Grand Marshal you know the music was worth hearing, especially at the picnic in the park afterwards. Not exactly your typical VFW-sponsored event, but no one was complaining. It was Memorial Day; there had to be a parade and a picnic and a coming together as Americans.

I've got the flag G'ma bought us for a housewarming present, which replaced the one Dadooooo got us in Chicago.  I'll wear the tie-dyed tank top the Cuters and I made early one July.  I'll remember the fallen and recommit to doing everything I can to make this country worthy of their sacrifice.

We have a long way to go, but I have confidence in the future.

Yawn

I have no energy to comment on the recent rash of rational actions by certain Republicans.  

Caregiving is hard work.  It's a good thing we like each other. 

I'll be back on Monday. 

Grandma's Garden Farewells

Today was the last day of school.  

I gave the kindergarten teachers their end of year, for their personal libraries, gift book.  They each had Caps for Sale; this year they received The Lorax.  One is moving back home to raise her baby-due-in-December closer to her family.  That was a hard goodbye for me.

She's the one on the left. The one on the right left last year.  They were joyous.

The kindergarteners were acting like the first graders they will be.  They waited politely until I arrived at the garden gate, they lined up without prompting to take a turn or three on the umbrella's handle, and they dove right into the storage bin to find what I'd hidden away.  A little mischief is welcomed; invading my personal space demands a conversation.  

I settled them down with white paper plates and markers, then proceeded to give away the painted ceramic pots to any and all who wanted them.  My usual friends stopped by to talk about their summer plans and to hug me.  The hugs were the most important part of the visits.

Some are moving away.  Omaha, Nebraska felt very far to the Garden Leader whose family was relocating.  

Some are going next door to middle school, often without their best friends who've been switched to another school amidst the District's round of school closures.  

There were tears.  There were reassurances - I won't let you feel lonely! I'll defend you! There was excitement about starting a new chapter.  Miss Stella is thrilled that she will exist in a world with scholars taller than she.  

I signed yearbooks and t-shirts and sweaters I'm not sure were parentally approved for Sharpie signatures.  Every plant in the garden has been adopted and is not living in a new home.  Only the tomato bush and the mandarin orange tree remain, both with ripening fruits.  

It's a good thing summer school runs through June.  

And Then There's This

Yesterday's post was full of joy.  Allow me this moment to rant.

*****

If one more person says he's more likely to get hit by a bus than die from what ails him,  I am afraid that violence may ensue.  

As one lovely (really, a kind and decent soul) human followed up with this: After all, you've had more opportunities to be hit by a bus than someone who is 30.  

Hey, we know we're old.  We aren't feeling young-ish right now.  We don't need the reminder.

It's comforting to be told that you don't need to rush to a lawyer and put your affairs in order, but, as another kind and decent soul said after looking at the two of us, that's because you probably already have that taken care of.

If that is to be our fate, then we'll go out as G'ma wished for herself - to be hit by a bus run by a solvent municipality.  I promise to be laughing all the way to the pavement.

Feeling the Love

This is just some of the love coming our way.  

I had forgotten how good it felt to read letters and cards from friends and strangers and strangers who became friends (I'm thinking of you,  Lolly) after my perforation.  The mail carrier has something to put in our mailbox that isn't trying to sell me something. 

Funny, sincere, thoughtful, personal missives arrive almost every day.  It's not only texts and emails from our circle.  We're surrounded by love at the treatment facilities, too.

It's everybody we encounter, from the valet parking ladies with the sparkling smiles and reminders to wait in the shade; through the scheduler who called late in the day to say he wouldn't have the information until the morning, but he didn't want me to go to sleep thinking he'd forgotten about me; to the clinicians and technicians and the people behind desks who smile if I should happen to catch their eye.  

It makes everything a lot easier.

We have one plan.  We are preparing to plan for a second, contemporaneous plan.  While serious, there are relatively benign yet effective plans to treat what ails him.  

I'm not jinxing anything by typing any more, and I'm closing the comments because I feel your love without them.

What I will say that Victor Wembayana is a very tall, very talented, young man, and watching a closely contested, double overtime, playoff game is a fine way to raise one's spirits.

Fauna in the Neighborhood

Two brothers purchased the 12.5 acres across the street, saving us from staring at 152 one and two story, cookie cutter, single family homes.  They have landscaped what was untended overgrowth into a lovely, liveable space.  There are two houses behind the old, rusted, fancy gate with its ironworked mural, the gate that clanked for years until they arrived and dealt with it.

They cleaned up the low lying plants and tree branches that swept the ground, and in doing so removed habitat that had lain undisturbed for the two decades we've lived here.  We would see coyote parents and their young carefully crossing the road, Dad blocking passage and alert for any danger, Mom bringing up the rear of the pup parade, on a regular basis.  

Not so much any more.

There were lots of bunnies munching on my rosemary and lantana and crepe myrtle before the electic saws and power blowers got to work, clearing out their habitat.  My plants are uneaten, and that's a good thing.  But I miss the critters twitching their noses on the rocks outside my window.

The javelina are still roaming the countryside, leaving their footprints behind in the rocky ground cover.  The lizards of all shapes and sizes and colors are everywhere, as are the bats and the wrens and the mourning doves.  

The hawks ride the air currents looking for snacks.  The giant, hooting owl lives in the eucalyptus tree next door.  He's surprised many a visitor with his I'm-right-next-to-you-and-I'm-very-loud notifications of his existence.

And the newest fauna I've discovered is our currrent next door neighbor, an anesthesiologist.  I met her husband, a contractor, a year ago.  It's taken that long for them to renovate and move in and for us to become acquainted.  

For every thing there is a season.... that feels apropos right now.

Garden Leaders

They come in all shapes and sizes, from kindergarten through fifth grade.  They show up and learn and help and sometimes they find treasures.  

One of them found a ripe tomato hidden under the leaves, resting on the soil, just begging to be sliced and eaten and shared with friends.  

They organized the loading of the painted pots onto the playground monitor's three tiered cart (oops.... she thought it was lost and gone forever) and gathered friends to navigate it over the bumpy grass, up and over the edge of the paved walk, up to the door near the staff mailboxes.

I chose the three in the front, who joined me in putting a pot in each cubby, right on top of the cards with flowers on one side and A snapdragon for you from Grandma's Gardeners sticker on the other.

It was a lovely way to spend a sunny morning.  

It's impossible to be sad while being hugged by little ones; I get so much more than I give.  

How Is He Still In Charge?

Taking a break from the medical scene, I'm going to let myself rant a bit about FFOTUS.

The man slurs his words so badly that there is no way to understand the ends of most sentences.  MSM is finally showing photos of him sleeping in meetings on the nightly news.  They aren't pointing out the fact that the Commander in Chief is taking a nap while surrounded by visitors, cabinet members, and Congress people.  I suppose they are relying on the viewer to make the connection.

Cowards, one and all.

His plan for his boring war is No Plan, I have no plan, no plan at all.  Meanwhile, he and Hegseth are pursuing Mark Kelly (once again) for pointing out that we've depleted our military stock to a danger point.  No, Mr. Secretary, that wasn't classified information.  You said it in a hearing. 

I'm not too worried about my senior Senator.  He has $25million in the bank and more coming in every day.  But Jon Ossoff, Sherrod Brown, the governorship of California --- they all have me worried.

Redistricting while elections are being held is absurd.... unless you are a Republican legislator who wants to curry favor with FFOTUS.  The voters in Virginia made their wishes known only to have a court tell them NO.  My County Clerk sent a Important Message urging everyone to check their voter resgistration status asap.   

There was a woman in a 45-47 decorated ball cap sitting at the counter when I picked up our lunch today.  I was tempted to approach her and ask her WHY???? but I kept my cool.  The thing is, I was really interested in her why.  Is she seeing the world through a different lens than I am?  

I drove home thinking about my latest act of political rebellion:

I'm leaving my mark.  It is all I can do.

Home, At Last

Yesterday was a whirlwind of pokes and examinations and consultations and then his Ticket To Ride (seriously, that's in the header of the order for transportation) arrived and, after a stop at the pharmacy for 6 prescritions) Sam wheeled him out to the car.

It was 102 degrees.  My car had been sitting in the sun for 6 hours.  The air conditioning did its best, but standing up was a challenge for my sweetie.  We got home and put him into his own bed - ahhhhhhhhhh - and filled his nightstand with Diet Coke and iced tea and Smart water and graham crackers.  

He'd have ensconced himself on the living room couch if the television had been working, but for some unknown reason it refused to connect to the cable box.  I have to say it felt like the world was conspiring against us.  Or, as the Golden Gopher put it, if he didn't have bad luck he'd have no luck at all.

It took me an hour to make a chart with the names, doses, times and what it's for.  6am, 10am, noon, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, and midnight are the times for the regularly scheduled drugs.  Should he need the oxycodone, that's a whole other timeline.  We napped through the noon dose and hoped that his body wouldn't notice that we were an hour late.

We're managing several diagnoses at the same time.  Everyone wants to be sure we understand all the directions and parameters and contraindications; as long as I'm taking notes to review later I'm doing fine.  

Now we're trying to reschedule the appointments we missed while he was hospitalized.  This is harder than one might imagine; one phone was busy from 8am until I called the main switchboard at 3pm and the lovely receptionist somehow managed to get me through.  I'm waiting for the doctor to talk to the scheduler who will call us back on one of the three phone numbers on file.

Sigh.

We've spent the day wondering how those without our particular set of skills and free time manage any of this.  I'm grateful for good insurance (even with that there's a $2000 co-pay for one drug) and money in the bank and family and friends who support us emotionally from near and far.  

And we're only just getting started.  

Chin up. Shoulders back. Smile pasted on my face.  We'll get through this together... and by that I am including all of you who've left loving comments on The Burrow.  Please understand if I'm too tired respond as I usually do.  

Onward and upward, as Daddooooo would say when life struck another blow.

Perhaps Today

Infections are nasty things.  

Lightheadedness and white blood count and creatinine and pain.... we spent another weekend in the hospital, coming close and then failing to being discharged.

This morning we'll give it another try.  

There will be posts about FFOTUS's boring war , he of the attention span of a toddler.  There will be a garden post or two, along with an end of the school year retrospective.

But now, I must dress and go, once again, to sit by his bedside and wait for others to make decisions about our actions.  To say that this is disconcerting would be the understatement of the 21st century.

Thanks for hangin in here with me.

And Still...

Some numbers go up, some go down. Mostly they go in the direction of health,  but that's usually followed by something else to worry about. 

The physicians are alarmingly young. The only grey hair to be found is on the patients. 

The staff is an interesting collection of Americans from all over the globe, all respecting the particular hierarchy of their niche.  Techs defer to nurses.  Fellows defer to Attendings. We've only been visited by one student, and that only after her supervisor asked our permission. 

That's all I can think of.  Hospitals are exhausting, even for visitors. 

Well....

We're still here.  He's feeling better but there are still meds to be given via an IV so we are literally tethered to the institution. 

Home tomorrow, we hope.  I'll have more to say then. 

We'll Talk Tomorrow

TBG and I are spending some quality time in the Emergency Room.  It will all be fine,  but writing will have to wait   It's hard to write with all the beeps and pokes and questions. 

Thanks for understanding. 

It's May

 As Guinevere sings in Camelot, it's a month when everything goes blissfully astray.

There are two and a half weeks of school left.  There's not much learning still going on, although the teachers are making a valiant effort to educate while their students are counting down the days until summer vacation.

The Amphi High School seniors held their Grad Walk on Friday.  Dressed in caps and gowns, they marched through the first floor and the playground, high fiving and smiling.... at least the ones without earbuds.  

Standing next to Miss Stella, currently the tallest 5th grader, I mentioned that she probably might not be the tallest student in Middle School next year, and that she certainly wouldn't be the tallest student in high school.  We don't know what they are feeding those kids, but they were BIG.

Attendance in the garden always slows down in May.  I don't know why.  The tomato plants and the mandarin orange tree have many green blobs (they don't look much better than that) which are taking their own sweet time ripening.  Apparently, they are not clued in to the school calendar.

One Garden Leader, talking to no one in particular, opined that the garden was her favorite place in the whole school.  No one fights.  You can plant.  And you can be quiet.

It seems that, for this year at least, my work here is done.

A Delightful Surprise

The BEYOND! t-shirts were a big hit as smocks in Grandma's Garden last week.  So that others could use them, I asked the scholars to take them off before they left. 

Two girls ran away, laughing, with their smocks over their t-shirts.  

I didn't notice that, but the other scholars did.  I looked out over the playgroound for the miscreants, to no avail.  I shrugged it off.  They've been sitting in my garage for 15 years; I have 2 huge boxes still there; the girls were laughing and that's always my goal; and I couldn't remember who they wtere, anyway.

A few minutes later, they came back, slightly abashed.  T  They couldn't return the smocks; they had removed their original t-shirts. Nudity is not encouraged on our campus.  I reminded them that they had misbehaved and that I was not thrilled with them..... but they could keep the BEYOND! shirts.

There were doctors and surgery and more doctors this week, so Thursday was my first day back in the garden.  While I was setting up the day's project, the two naughty third graders suddenly appeared before me.  

We're sorry we took the shirts, Grandma.  We're really sorry.

They came on their own.  They were properly abashed.  Their faces were really sorry, as they met me eye to eye, confident and diffident at the same time.  

I almost cried.  Instead, I told them that I was proud of them.  Everyone makes mistakes and does dumb things and I know that I did  (pause for a painful memory or two to flash across my brain) and the fact that they took responsibility for their actions and came back to repair the damage impressed me a whole lot more than their absconding (yes, I said absconding) with the t-shirts had depressed me.  

No, they didn't want to stay and paint. We shook hands and they went on their way.

It was a good day in Grandma's Garden.

Apparently, I Hit A Nerve

Almost every one of my usual comment writers chimed in on the understanding tv post yesterday. 

dkzody's right : You enjoy this entertainment and use it a lot so it's worth it.

Carol's idea is a classic :  Somebody write a book about this, and SOON.  Although I fear that publishing a book means the information will probably be outdated before it hits the bookstores' shelves.  

Linda Reeder is like me, and relies on the voice remote to find what she seeks.  TBG remembers all the station numbers.  I prefer to filll my brain with other things.  I know how to find the apps on the home screen.... sometimes.... and Netflix and Amazon Prime are the only places I go on my own, and then, only rarely.

Laura and Jim Davis offered practical solutions.  JES wants to fix the problem by visiting (something we've been trying to do since 2010).  

What I need is a college kid with aging parents/grandparents who understands our need to watch on the tv and not our phones.  She should be a good explainer, with a high tolerance for ignorance and ineptitude.  She must not judge our choices (yes, he needs Perry Mason and Leave it to Beaver on METV).  This could be a high paying gig for someone with the knowledge and time.  If only she existed outside of my imagination.

Nobody Understands TV

Little Cuter and SIR are considering cutting their cable.

Our provider is no longer contracted with ABC, which is now a problem since TBG has entered his Sports Deprivation Season and is forced to follow professional basketball, many games of which are on ABC.  

You would think that this would be a problem with a solution, and I'm sure you're right.  There ought to be a way to send my computer's input to my television.  They tempt me with apps names like CastTV, which I download and then am unable to use.

We pay Xfinity a hefty fee each month for cable and internet.  There's streaming music on a surround sound system inside and outside the house.  It's fun when I'm swimming laps, not so much when I'm trying to have a conversation in the living room.

Since I first posted about this I've been asking random people if they understand TV these days.  The first person who says yes will be hired to explain it to me.

Here's Monday's Post

I was peeved and I used you to hear my rants and I typed until I felt better and that was supposed to be Friday's post.  At least it was supposed to be Friday's post, if only I had remembered to click Publish. 

Not wanting you to feel neglected since I messed up my every day schedule, here, without extraneous verbiage, are the pictures from Grandma's Garden that were to be (with extraneous verbiage) Monday's post.

It's a follow-up to Thursday's post about painting pots for the faculty and staff.  (And yes, this is a shameless plug for someone new to The Burrow to jump around and see what we're all about.)

Our scholars are the face of America - immigrants and refugees from Afghanistan and Sudan and all over Central America.

One color per brush, under the umbrella for shade.

I said Smile! and she posed.

Someone created her own quiet space.

He found just the right perch.

The Beyond! t-shirts are relics from the early days after our perforation. They are our new smocks.

I Am Taking It Personally

I've been writing postcards for Tony the Democrat for a long time.  

Recently, I wrote Turn Out the Vote notes for the Virginia redistricting plan.  The accompanying explanation seemed reasonable, the message refuted Republican misdirection lies, I requested 5 addresses and did my part for our representative democracy within 3 days, as requested.

We won.  I felt great.  Tony's research shows that our postcards have a measurable effect so I decided to take personal pride in the outcome.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a pop up notice reported that a judge had quashed the thing before I even got a chance to raise a glass to myself.

There will be appeals and outrage and much ado.... about something this time.

Meanwhile, I'm peeved.

Don't Worry

I went to sleep before I published Friday's post. 

It will all work out over the weekend, I promise. 

Notes from Grandma's Garden

My alternatives today were to write about FFOTUS's Cabinet (the swamp has been draining quite nicely in the last few weeks); or California Democrats doing their best to get shut out of the gubernatorial race entirely; or the fact that I can do both of things the internet correlates to longevity (getting up out of a chair and up off the floor without using your hands).

I opted for photos from my school garden, a place where kindergarten and second grade meet and mingle and complain about getting soil in their eyes while being wheeled around and around in giggly circles.  

The fact that she filled the purple cup herself, 

asked to be dizzy-fied, and threw the offending particles herself never really came up.

This scholar decided to build a big lump to cover the broken irrigation system.  There was so much care and patience in that little corner of my world.  

We don't remember what the dead plant was, but it really doesn't matter.  It didn't take long for a 5th grader with the snips asked permission to prune it.

Earlier,  four boys and one tiny girl were in that same raised bed, digging a very, very deep hole with the real shovel and trowels and their hands.  

Today,  it was a place for quiet reflection. 

That space serves many purposes, even if none of them involve growing plants right now.

One of the Garden Leaders took it upon herself to carefully fill the painted pots with soil, all the way to the brim.  

Today, another solitary gardener and I watered those soil filled pots and planted basil seeds in one row of them.  Pre-watering is an experiment I'm doing.  I don't want to drown the seeds but I want them to have moisture to germinate.  Tomorrow we will plant others in dry soil and we will see if this makes a difference.

There are lots of ways to use the garden.  Science in action was my theme for today.

Happy Earth Day

This is the 8th post I ever wrote, back in 2009.  I've updated it just a little, but republish it here for the 17th time.  

I like Earth Day. I was there at the start, after all.

Created in large part by U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson, in the world of 1970 it was a touchy-feely alternative to the harsher realities of the anti-Vietnam War protests. War was such an uncomfortable subject and arguing against it made your parents wonder why they were spending tuition dollars while you were telling the lawfully elected President of the United States of America that you knew more than he did. With your picture in the crowd on the front page of the NY Times, at 18 years of age, no less. 

But planting trees? Recycling newspaper? Not littering? All this in service to Mother Earth. Who could be aggravated about supporting Mother Earth?

Earth Day had teach-in's. They were more fun than sit-in's, which invariably involved police and disciplinary action. They were less fun than be-in's, which owed more to Timothy Leary and The Grateful Dead than to anything political or practical. Teach-in's were earnest and had hand-outs and statistics and pictures of desolate landscapes ravaged by the cruelty of man. There was science and legislation and outrage and lots of free tree give-aways.

Earth Day had no mandatory family gatherings. It required no gift giving, no card sending. You went outside and did something - cleaned a playground, weeded a median strip, planted one of those free trees. You felt good because you were doing good.

And Mother Earth was grateful.

*****

This paragraph is part of the original post:

Now there is Earth Week. Were this still 1970, there would be protests about the idea  being co-opted by the man. Instead, Sheryl Crow is designing re-useable grocery bags for Whole Foods and Wal-Mart is selling others next to the discounted paper towels.

Earth Week?  We can't even agree on climate change.  We are still protesting a venal administration, but most of us are recycling, or feeling guilty if we're not.  I always have a pretty reusable bag or three in the trunk because there's too much packaging in the world.  

Why that statement made my children cringe and shush me remains a mystery to this day.  

Here's wishing you a sunny and productive Earth Day.  If nothing else, buy yourself some flowers and send thankful vibes to the grower.

Fact and Fiction

I have been re-reading John Scalzi's Old Man's War series.  Science Fiction is not my favorite genre.  If not for the books Big Cuter recommends I wouldn't read it at all.  It's too much science and the fiction gets lost for me in the details, most of which I don't understand at all.  

Ender's Game came to me after he read it in middle school. It's still one of his important books (along with Plato's Republic.... yes, I know.....), and for good reason.  It opened my eyes to the possibilities within the genre, but nothing grabbed me that way until I found John Scalzi.

I saw him at the Tucson Festival of Books in March and picked up the books soon thereafter.  They are filled with many types of sentient beings.  Some are asteroids.  Some are room sized bugs with arms designed for slashing.  Some are human, although some of those humans are green, with self repairing bodies.  

Not all of them have consciousness.   

What that meant was hard for me to grasp, and Scalzi seems to recognize that some of us might have issues.  Several times the story takes a little leap backwards, with someone/thing explains the gift of consciousness once again.  Two of the major characters were part of a race that was sentient but had no notion of being individuals.  

I'm still grappling with it.  

So, apparently is the robotics community.

NPR told me about robots that can be trained to make my bed, empty my dishwasher, wash and fold the laundry.... the list went on.  The question facing the designers is not Can they be taught to figure other things out on their own?  but Should we really be creating thinking robots?

And there I was, back trying to figure out if the robot thinks but doesn't recognize another robot as a similar but distinct being does it lack consciousness?  And is that a good thing or a bad thing?  

This post has taken a long time to write, because my brain is off on tangent after tangent, trying to figure it out.  I'm having a hard time finding the words.  That's not a bad thing.  I love it when a book captivates me this way.

Standing Up

I went to the Old People's Protest outside Congressman Ciscomani's office on Saturday.  

That's not what it's called in the weekly emails I receive,  reminding me of the event, any specific theme to reflect on our signs, and the parking suggestions.   I usually parked in the lot for my Congressman's office.  But over the few weeks since I've been there,  a fence has gone up.  The email noted that a locally owned toy store,  Mildred and Dildred, supported our efforts and invited us to park behind their nearby store. 

So, I did, aided by the handy dandy sign at the curb.  If you look at the upper left corner, you can catch a glimpse of a fellow sign waver.  I drove around back, grabbed my sign and my pinwheel, and joined the throng.

Can I call 75 75 year olds a throng?  Waxing and waning over a two hour window, the organizers call it 75 strong every week.  Some are older, some are younger, but no one is as old as we were when we did this 50 years ago.  Where are they?

That last part was a major topic of conversation along the street corner.  The internet?  Not teaching civics in high school? A generation that's glued to their phones and eschews making eye contact with the real world?  We reached no consensus other than agreeing that we, ourselves, standing at a busy intersection, were doing our part.

There was a lady in a blow up American flag costume.  There were huge American flags and one Ukrainian flag.  There were signs reminding drivers that their President is a pedophile, a liar, a rapist, a criminal, and a dirtbag.  Draft Barron first was a popular meme.  

And then a gentleman of a certain age offered me one of these Gas Station Stickers.  

I am to place it, subtly, on the pump, with his finger pointing to the price per gallon.

I think I'm going to have to skip Costco next week and stop in for a few gallons at a QuickStop.

Buying Gas

The Chevron station at Prince and Oracle Roads usually has the least expensive gas on my way home.  Today, regular was advertised at $4.65/gallon.  Drive right in and pull up to one of the six empty slots.

So, I drove to Costco.  There, the line for the 20 slots snaked through the parking lot and out to the street, and regular gas was $3.85/gallon.

That's eighty cents per gallon in my pocket, or $8 for the ten gallons I bought.  $8 a week, 52 weeks a year..... we're talking serious money here.  

I spent the afternoon worrying about people living paycheck to paycheck and being very grateful for my situation in life.  

Ooops

How do you know that you don't know something if you don't know it?

This was the question TBG posed after recognizing that 75% of the kerfuffle over the doctor's return call was not because the doctor didn't make it but because modern technology was, in this instance, totally inaccessible to him.

He was unaware of the feature that would have avoided a lot of angst.  

And so he asked how we could hold him responsible for not knowing something he didn't know.  If he didn't know it how would he know to ask for it?  

All of these are reasonable interpretations of an uncomfortable situation.  But TBG is right - he was an idiot.