The Burrow

A friend, a fellow shootee, finds solace in God.  Praying works for him, he tells me.  It's a powerful force, if only we would harness it to expunge the evil from our world.  Evil exists, has always existed, will always exist, his latest missive explained.  Railing against individuals gets us no where, trying to protect ourselves from them is foolish, no matter what we do, they will be there and they will find a way to do their mischief.  Prayer and belief have something to do with saving ourselves from total despair, it seems, but I had a simpler response, one from my heart, laced with friendship and respect: Okay, evil exists.  Do we have to arm it?

Little Cuter's text message.  TBG's words before I joined him on the couch.  Hockey Mom via Facebook.  I barely had the shades up and the sleep out of my eyes before I was shivering. Don't watch the coverage.  Drive carefully.  Pay attention to the world around you today.  Don't forget to say I Love You.  Everyone has a suggestion. Everytown's Survivor Network (can you believe that we need such a thing?) is there if I need them; they reminded me on Facebook and Gmail. Before I could revel in the pictures of FlapJilly's weekend with Maga and Papa I had to wrench myself back from the brink. I think I'm fine, most of the time.  But right now I'm hearing sirens which haven't blared for nearly 7 years.  I'm holding the hand of a dying child, begging her not to leave me, watching the light go out of her eyes.  I'm on a Medevac helicopter and then I'm in and out of consciousness, asking for Christina, knowing that she's dead. I don...

The rent-a-cop took our picture in the courtyard outside Senator Flake's Tucson office.  I'm certain that I would outrun him in a race to shelter, but it was nice of the organizers to consider some small measure of security for our group meeting with the Senator's staff.  Jeff Flake is considered to be wavering on his support for TrumpCare; we were there to tell our stories and ask for his vote. I'd begged off on the previously scheduled sidewalk demonstration; I don't feel comfortable being that exposed.  But following gunfire at a baseball game with chanting and protesting about health care seemed an odd mix to the OFA organizers; the sign waving piece was deferred to another time. I was fine with an inside the office sit-down.  The office feels very safe to me; I visit there at least once a month to share an opinion or two.  I look around, as I always do.  I'm aware of places to hide, of escape routes, of unlocked doors and out-of-the-way niches. ...

My email, my Facebook, my phones (both land line and cell), the cashier at the grocery store and classmates in Romantic Composers ...... every one wanted to know how I was doing. I appreciated the love.  Really, I did.   Thinking of you right now  made me smile.  Heidi's How do you keep your sanity  made me smile.  All the heart emoji's warmed my real one, and the hugs and loving looks reminded me that life is good. I was lucky.  I was in the South Bend airport, ready to board my first plane, when the news broke.  By the time I landed in Tucson it was no longer a breaking story.  TBG told me the facts as we left the lot; MSNBC on XMRadio filled in the personal stories of eye witnesses leaving the YMCA and hiding behind their cars.   I'd been eased into the idea of another shooting; I didn't make the connection to our Congress on Your Corner until I saw Mark Kelly on CNN later in the afternoon. It didn't make me sad or scared. ...

I want to make double sure you're certain you want to do that.  The question surprised me.  I hadn't considered the consequences.  That felt like progress, and I let myself smile.  Then I shrugged my shoulders and typed back my only regret: that I wasn't angry enough. Remember all those rules the House of Representatives overturned last week?  Among them was the Implementation of the NICS Improvement Amendments Act of 2007 (NIAA) (Formerly Disclosure of “Mentally Defective” Individuals (NICS submissions)). Behind all that verbiage my Congresswoman agreed with her Republican leadership that individuals already adjudicated incapable of managing their own financial affairs by the Social Security Administration ought to be protected from the FBI's don't sell to these people because they are too dangerous to own and operate a weapon list. I know.  Unbelievable, right?   She apparently thinks that enabling his ability to shoot me is a higher good tha...

for Christina-Taylor, Dorwin, Judge Roll,  Gabe, Dot, Phyllis who were taken from us that sunny Saturday morning. For Gabby, who continues to inspire. For myself, looking at the world from a different perspective. For Hadiya Pendleton , whose friends started it all. For the schoolchildren in Connecticut and the educators who died with them. I thought that your deaths would change the conversation....... I'm still hopeful. Denizens, if you can, wear something orange today and let the world know that you care.

He's 13 years old.   At about 2:30 AM I started drawing and I was just searching the computer for ideas  and I realized how relevant shootings are  so I created that. His mother sent the artwork to me this morning. Her son's late night thoughts should revolve around pretty people he'd like to kiss, not dead 9 year olds, or 17 year olds, or college students, or high schoolers. Ta'Nehisi Coates's  Between The World And Me  describes his daily struggle to get through the day. His body language, his clothing, his gaze - all circumscribed by the violence surrounding him. He didn't relax.  He couldn't.  It wasn't safe.   He might die. When it's  the other  who is afraid to walk home from school, it's easy to shake your head and sigh. When it's a friend's son facing the reality of gun violence at 2:30 in the morning, it's harder. Perhaps this is what the current focus on guns can achieve. Our chil...

To get them out of the way, first. I never thought about them very much before one catapulted me into the limelight.  After all, short Jewish girls from New York don't get shot..... do they ? Until my body intersected with bullets, I knew no one who had ever been shot.  Since my perforation, though, my world is peopled with such individuals. We are old and young and every color of the rainbow and every variation of belief system and we all believe the same thing - some people should not be wielding weaponry. We come to that conclusion from a variety of political perspectives.  There are liberal Jews and Conservative Christians who agree that being excluded from the military for mental health reasons should be sufficient evidence that one's right to bear arms should be abridged.  After all, if an organization created to use weapons of death decides that you should not be around those weapons, even within the confines of their institution, why should the res...

The pro-gun forces have a new tactic - let's arm everyone.  Instead of decrying lists and bans and gun-free-zones, they are in favor of guns everywhere.  After all, you never know when the bullets might start flying; it's best to be prepared. The fact is that the lone armed good guy when I was shot kept his sidearm holstered, choosing a plastic lawn chair as his weapon.  Afraid of being identified as a shooter by first responders, afraid of hitting an innocent, this well-trained, long time gun owner never fired a shot. Yes, I saw the news clip  from February, 2014, applauding the mother who repelled 3 young men, returning home invaders who had been terrorizing her neighborhood for months, by warning them and then firing her small assault weapon - a gift from her husband after the thugs first visit, two weeks earlier. They were captured soon after.  I'm glad she and her children are safe; I wonder why the police were so quick to nab the perpetrators after mo...

I wish the talking heads would stop saying the names of the shooters. I know that their ethnic sounds are code for Radical Muslim Terrorists, or whatever the hell else the Republican candidates are worried about, but to the lonely white-boy-with-a-hoodie and a grudge and a gun, the notoriety must feel pretty sexy. I wish there wasn't the presumption that He was in charge and that She was merely his wife.   The talking heads are repeating his name  and his wife  instead of calling them The Shooters and leaving it at that.  By separating them into individuals, it's hard not to conjure up a little bit of sexism in the assumption that it was all his idea.  Women can be evil-doers, too.   Yes, I agree, this is a strange thought to be having. But the fact of the matter is that there is nothing new to say.  I can only follow my mind as it wanders on the edge of the abyss. Did you know about  Prayer Shaming? The New York Daily News  splash...

I love Ronni Bennett.  Her elderblog,  Time Goes By , is my go-to source for all things aging.  Others agree with me, as did John Gear, who sent her an article he wrote in 1999.  I'm excerpting it, with comments in italics, below.  It's an interesting idea, one that makes sense to me because it talks to Americans where they are most vulnerable - in their wallets. John Gear, in The Progressive Review : We can fix the gun problem. We can make America safer, without limiting our right to bear arms. And we can do it without an expensive, dangerous, and futile "War on Guns." To solve the real problem (keeping guns out of the wrong hands-without restricting other people) we must use an idea that has worked to limit losses from many other hazards: insurance. That's right, insurance, the system of risk-management contracts that lets people take responsibility for choices they make that impose risks on others. I know you didn't buy your gun to hurt me, but it ...

I sat in the parking lot at Prince Elementary School as I heard the news. I found myself screaming NO at the top of my lungs.  It didn't help much, but it felt good at the time. Once again, the television is covered with pictures of a parking lot, with stories of reunions, with wondering when the next set of facts will be delivered to the hungry maw of the press. I can't worry about more facts right now.  I'm with the officers meeting the families of those who died at school today.  They are stepping into the after portion of their lives.  They've joined the club of the bereaved-by-a-gun ... and yes someone pulled the trigger but he didn't throw 13 hunting knives now did he? I cannot care about the issue more deeply.  I cannot do more than I am already doing to make my position known, to support organizations and candidates whose views coincide with mine, to encourage my friends and family and readers and strangers to take action.  With some minor cor...

Hadiya Pendleton | Sun-Times library I'm wearing orange today.  I have my orange American flag pin on, too.   I want to remind the world that hunters wear orange to keep themselves and one another safe.  I want to remind the world that I don't care if you have a gun, as long as you are sane and trained and careful.  I want to remind the world that this is not a great deal to ask... to remind them that Christina-Taylor would be thinking about high schools right now... to remind them that visiting with one's Congresswoman should not be an occasion for violence. The #WearingOrange campaign was started by the friends of Hadiya Pendleton, the Chicago high school student gunned down a week after she and her classmates performed for President Obama.  Her parents, Cleo and Nate Pendleton, penned this Op Ed for the Chicago Sun Times . I'm probably breaking all kinds of journalistic integrity doctrines, but I am reposting it here for you to read.  If you'...

It worked. Citizen Activists made noise and a corporation listened.  Perhaps they really are people, because they certainly used their ears this time. I did my small part, and Facebook friends did theirs and strangers in the check out line in the grocery store promised to do theirs after overhearing my conversation with the cashier and the ground swell grew and grew and Target is now asking its guests to leave their weaponry behind. It's a good day. I wrote a Tweet and then copied it and posted it on Target's Facebook page, sharing my joy.  # BackOnTarget !!! @ MomsDemand and I thank Target and the citizen activists who convinced them that weapons are not needed in the tp aisle I thought about it before I typed, remembering Little Cuter's admonition that there are people with guns on the other side of this issue, but I thought it only fitting to compliment them in the same forum I'd used to tell them that I was #OffTarget.  It seemed like the ri...

Have you seen the hashtag? Moms Demand Action has been encouraging its members to stay away from Target, and to demonstrate that fact by photographing ourselves at competitors while displaying a #OffTarget sign.   Little Cuter has been bemoaning the fact that FlapJilly has no 0-3 month size outfits.  Everyone is buying big stuff ... because everyone knows that babies grow much too quickly for 0-3 month clothes to get much use.  I've tried to share this learned wisdom with her, but she is insistent.  She needs plain white onesies for my granddaughter and she is not to be dissuaded.   This errand conflated nicely with my desire to participate in the Moms Demand Action project, so, this morning, after Pilates and a shower, I drove to Buy Buy Baby to make my mark.    Usually, I do not allow myself to move off the carpet at the front of the store.  There are too many temptations within.  But I was on a specific mission, one that wou...

Six are dead.  Thirteen are wounded. Again. Those are the numbers we heard in Tucson.  Dory and Judge Roll and Gabe and Christina-Taylor and Dot and Phyllis are long forgotten, though.  Too much time has passed.  CNN's retrospective on mass shootings in America listed the last ten.... in the last two years.... and Tucson was too long ago to be mentioned.  Our event is ancient history, it seems. Yet, it is exactly the same story.... a preventable story... a story that will resonate for a while and then vanish into the collective unconscious.... unless I keep nagging about it, I guess.  So...... Another disturbed 20-something white boy, this one with parents and therapists and an academic career to go along with his legally obtained weaponry, shot up a peaceful college town.  His family warned the police; he deluded the officers with politeness and his whiteness, I'm sure.  His written manifesto mentions his glee that they did not search his...

I have a link to help you  Make Your Voices Heard  just under the masthead of The Burrow.  I tweet @ABattheBurrow. I share posts on Facebook and I have these adorable MooCards which I hand out when the conversation turns toward taking action.  I call my elected officials, leaving scripted messages on voice mail.  I sign petitions which bring me spam emails but make me feel good in the moment.  Today, though, I think I made a difference. Pam Simon, an official Champion of Change according to the White House, sent an email to her Jan 8th cohort, exhorting us to call Governor Brewer's office.  Ever obedient, I dialed the number as I read the details.  Steam was soon pouring out of my ears.  All that meditation, the deep yoga breathing, lowering my shoulders as the biofeedback guru recommended .... none of it worked.  I was in the zone... the fury zone... the oh dear God how can this be true zone.... the just wait til I get someone ...