The Burrow

Once again, Ashleigh Burroughs comes to the rescue of those who are sports deprived, who are untutored in the ways of the round orange ball, who are uninterested on their own but who would like to participate, even if only peripherally, in the conversation. These few bits of information should keep you comfortably in the conversation, without taxing your brain very much at all. ***** Out of the millions of humans who completed brackets on ESPN's website, none are perfect after the first round. None.  No one made all the right choices.  Warren Buffet's offer of $1,000,000 to any of his employees who had a perfect score sheet at the end of the tournament is moot. ***** Neither Arizona nor Michigan State nor West Virginia made it out of the first round. Was Wichita State really an 11 seed?  Where is Mid Tennessee State? Does anyone else know that Stephen F. Austin was a teacher's college when it was founded in Nagodoches, Texas in 1923?  Does anyone else care?...

Basketball is a much better sport than football. I am prepared to argue the point. It is easier to understand. There are only 5 players on the court at any time, and they usually have their names on their jerseys. It's easier to follow the ball when it's not blocked from view by 2500 pounds of padded flesh. The players' faces are unobscured by face guards and helmets; their grimaces and their grins are part and parcel of my enjoyment.  The game frowns upon undue bodily contact; players don't suffer two concussions in six weeks (cf. Anu Solomon, UofA quarterback). There is bumping and shoving and pushing, but no one is diving into your chest, driving you to the ground, preventing you from making a play. Defense is played with the feet, not the hands or the shoulders or the head. I don't have to worry about brain stem contusions while watching young men play a game.   I grew up with the Knicks, moved on to the Bulls, took second in TBG's office pool with ...

I apologize denizens. I have been remiss.  For those of you who rely on The Burrow for water cooler chatter on sports, I have let you down.  We traveled and I was ill and Arizona lost and it just never seemed to happen, did it?  I apologize, again and again. But, reading this (as the 20 or so of you who do so) on the day it's posted, you have time to make your feelings known.  You can participate, with little or no memorization required. Start out with "My bracket was busted two rounds ago."   Everyone else will nod in understanding. After the round of 64* there was only one perfect bracket out of the 11.6 million or so entered on espn.com.  You don't have to reveal that you picked Iowa State to go to the Final Four (as did someone I love)... you don't have to reveal anything at all.  Just look stricken and shake your head. I've been doing it for two weeks now. ***** *64 was the number of teams in the tournament when I began paying attention, i...

Friday's post was swallowed up in the frenzy.  Little Cuter called and I asked if my gift package had arrived as scheduled on Saturday and she laughed and said "It's Friday, retired person!" and it really made no difference because there were 64 teams competing from Buffalo to San Diego and I was obsessed. It began on Thursday morning and followed me through my dreams into pilates on Friday.  I crocheted and I stomped my feet and I encouraged and I wallowed and it was wonderful.  I love having my heartstrings pulled, and this time of year sees an abundance of plucking.  There's a sense of history, not only from the pulled-from-the-archives films of 1970's era players, those slim, short-shorts wearing, now grey haired talking heads, but from seeing former players, like Rod Strickland, on the sidelines, coaching.  I watched him on those old, heartbreaking DePaul teams, the ones Dr K and TBG and I were talking about over dinner, the ones that led you on th...

I've been remiss, denizens.  Those of you who count on my input to create the illusion of sports patter competence have been left in the lurch this playoff season.  I'm not into hockey, though I agree that the players are fabulous athletes who can do what I cannot.  The NBA has not held my attention since Michael Jordan retired (the second time).  We tried to be Phoenix Suns fans, but they're not a Tucson team, nor are they very good at what they do these days.  We've been fair-weather rooters, latching onto whatever band wagon looks like the most fun. For the NBA championship series, we've become fans of the Oklahoma City Thunder. I've had a soft spot in my heart for OKC ever since Timothy McVeigh tried to rip out its heart and leave a hole in its place.  The town resisted being defined by a tragedy while creating a memorial that left even Charles Barkley speechless.  Sitting at the commentators' table, he could get no further than powerful before ...

She's right up there in my pantheon of "if I weren't me I'd be..." women. Right up there with Sally Ride and Sandra Day O'Connor, women who did what they wanted to do even if it was really a boy's game.  Millenials may have no interest in hearing about Title IX, but it changed the landscape of after school activities forever  All of a sudden, tall girls with hops had someplace to go.  And when they grew up and still wanted to play they could apply to the University of Tennessee and hope that Pat Summitt would take them under her wing. It wasn't a very comfortable wing for most of the time.  There were high expectations and compliments were few and far between.  She'd grown up with a tough father, a hard to please man whose standards redefined impossible to meet.  There was a lot of him in her coaching style, it seemed.  But if a real problem arose, if there was a need, if help were required, Pat Summitt was there.  Her style -focused and d...

The Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat in the National Basketball Association's championship series this week.  Dirk Novitzki's 7' self led the Mavs to victory, leaving LeBron James in his dust. If you're not into the sports posts that paragraph should give you all the information  you need.  Come back tomorrow for something entirely different, As for the rest of you, would you agree that what started out with sloppy and unimpressive performances transformed itself into a beautiful example of well-played team ball?  Dirk can't get the ball to drop?  No worries, Jet's got him covered.  The Mavericks' bench scored nearly as many points as did their starters; that is team ball. Jose Barea claims to be 6' tall, but if that's true I want his measuring tape and I want it now. When asked why he was successful his disarming reply made short people everywhere stand up and cheer: When I am dribbling I am close to the ground and those big guys they...

To Those of You Who Hate the Sports Posts:  Just read the highlighted portions below.  That should be enough to make you sound well-informed if you are asked to participate in a conversation about the college basketball tournament.  If even that is too much for you, come on back tomorrow for a non-sports experience.  ***** Once again, perforations notwithstanding, I offer my services as Sportscaster for the Uninterested.   I promise that this post will allow you to participate in any conversation which touches on the start of the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) men's basketball tournament, usually referred to as March Madness. After the first night, I was leading the family pool by 25 percentage points.  Big Cuter is in London instead of on the phone with us his Hoyas play a lackluster first half in their first game..... taking place in the second round.  Were he available, I am certain that I could tell you where I stand on thi...

I'm in mid-brownie baking mode and my brain is fried. Every moment is consumed with melting and mixing and cutting and bagging and boxing and labeling then driving to the post office where I am a whiz at the very cool APC (Automated Postal Center) and then coming home and starting all over again. Coherent thoughts are few and far between. ******** The fact that I know the name of the self-serve machine in the lobby of the post office gives you some idea of how I've been spending my time lately. ************** My mind is filled with conversations. It's reminding me of putting books onto library shelves in a new house. The characters are adjusting to their new neighbors and I'm talking to the recipients and yes it's all a bit .... can I actually be thinking of using this word???..... surreal but is it possible that you might know what I mean? I'm choosing cards carefully and my box of bubble-wrap-on-a-roll is my new best friend and I'm grinning from ea...

Bull Durham (20th Anniversary Edition) (Sorry, regular readers. Further notes on newspapers - which was promised on Friday - will have to await another post.) *************** Professional baseball has farm teams. Promising players can be drafted out of high school and sent to the minor leagues to hone their talents and become the emotionally mature adults that living away from home on $23/day while surrounded by tobacco chewing and spitting equally mature young adults will make them. More academically inclined (and, perhaps, less physically talented) high school seniors would go on to Arizona or USC or Stanford or LSU or Texas and graduate before being drafted and sent to the minor leagues where they could continue to hone their talents while being the emotionally mature adults that spending 4 years on a college campus as a pampered National Champion had made them. (If I've gotten this far without your wondering where the Bull Durham link is lurking, then you're probab...

TBG and I have acquired, without any forethought or planning, friends who are much younger than we are. Decades younger. Many many decades. I'm not babysitting the Amster's sons when they are here playing Leggo s. Just ask the 5 year old: "She's not a babysitter. It's a playdate." Having moved the Cuters' toys from Chicago to Marin to Arizona over the last quarter of a century, that is welcome news. My role is strictly support staff. I find "the guys" and the kids create the world in which they destroy each other. We switch heads and weaponry and headgear and pennants. They fantasize moats and dragons and - as if by magic - out comes the dinosaur box and we have "real" monsters to attack our forts. When we needed "something way bigger" for protection, Construx provided just the pieces we required. (An aside: how sad is it that Construx are no longer available?) The neighbors get into the act, too. A grandson visiting ...

SILVER LINING DEPARTMENT:  Because it took Mine That Bird's trainer so long to crutch to the winners' circle, the jockey got to trip around the track, high fiving his big smile red coated escort and bumping fists with the guys in the blue Visa logo jackets while the crowd roared its approval.  The announcers were silent as Calvin Borel shared his joy - a perfect tv moment. ************************************** Why was Pizza Hut (via Yum Brands) the lead advertiser for The Derby when Louisville is Papa John's corporate backyard ? *************************************** Charles Barkley is becoming much less interesting as we both get older. ****************************************** I liked Jack Kemp - he wasn't as annoying as most Republicans are.  RIP, Congressman. ************************************************ TBG used the foliage surrounding the course at Quail Hollow to deduce that it wasn't in California and so couldn't be where we'd vacationed with T...

I was watching a pick-up basketball game while doing my push-ups at the gym. 6 guys in their 20's, none of them particularly buff, all wearing shirts. So, I wondered, how do they know who their teammates are? Quickly recognizing the color of your side's jersey, looking for shirts or skins, these are pieces of information which I've always imagined to be critical while playing a team sport. Hmmmm. I was doing 4 sets of 15, so there was lots of time to watch. And as I watched, I realized that they didn't need to recognize their teammates. They weren't passing. They weren't playing defense, except against the ball. It was run-and-gun, look-at-me shooting. Not basketball. I've followed college basketball since the 1970's - it was either learn it or lose TBG to the NCAA for the semester. I came to love the flow and the pulse of the game. There were only 5 players to keep track of and I knew them not only by number but by their faces and their physi...

Watching the NBA playoffs is not my favorite way to spend a sunny Saturday afternoon. For TBG, though, watching LeBron lead Cleveland is just this side of heaven. (Heaven was watching Michael Jordan 6-peat.) It's hard to remember that LeBron is the same age as the Little Cuter. He's a big man playing a big man's game, and he's playing with authority. The high school phenom turned Rookie of the Year. The man who has all of Cleveland "Believe"-ing. A real reason (beyond fabulous greek restaurants) to live by the shores of Lake Erie. And yet, he's still so young. He's been drawing a paycheck since he was 18 years old. This wasn't a paycheck most high school grads receive - this was serious money. Whole organizations were devoted to his interests. Paul Silas was hired to nurture him. Nike paid him $90,000,000 to be a human hanger and a shoe model. And he was just a kid. Last summer, LeBron played for Mike Krzyzewski and Team USA. This season...