The Burrow

Do you have a basic morning routine?  Roll out of bed, brush teeth, drink water with pills, make breakfast, check calendar.... or are you more focused in the afternoon, with secure dinner ingredients, check and deal with the mail, write a blog post on your list? I don't do it consciously, but the list is there in my head. Except when it isn't. TBG is still dealing with surgical recovery.  He hurts.  His pills are a cornucopia of analgesics and anti-inflammatories and blood thinners.  Some are twice a day.  Some are thrice.  Some are every 6 hours (although they can go to 4 if the need is intense).  Some cannot be taken at the same time as the others.  My small yellow legal pad is a mass and a mess of notes and reminders - next, taken, not before. Sometimes he takes the pills in the middle of the night and doesn't wake me to record the dosage.  Sometimes I leave a pill on his nightstand, to be taken after x o'clock,  without the need to g...

I spent the early afternoon in kindergarten.  The teacher introduced me as her friend who was shot, the friend she mentioned that morning as she was explaining why she didn't like guns, and why she didn't want guns to be part of the pictures they were drawing.. I explained about the young man who didn't know to use his words instead of his gun, and I made them laugh when I admitted being shot in the butt.  They are only 5, after all, and the lesson is best delivered gently, over time.   We went right on to read Caps for Sale; they were excellent monkeys.  Afterwards, the teacher drew the illustration they described on the white board, emphasizing that the monkeys had eyes and ears a body with the appropriate number of appendages.  They got to vote on the length of the tail.  The grass and the sky were important, too.   There's so much to learn in kindergarten.  Where you are in the world is just one small part of it. I sat at a table wit...

There are always water beetles floating on the surface of the pool. They are alive when transferred by the skimmer to the desert beyond.  Most of the animals we find in the pool are dead, usually a small bird or rodent dropped from a beak on the way to be dinner for the kiddos.  Last month a frog took a fatal plunge.  They too are sent flying into the great beyond. They don't impede my swimming.  Fred, the yellow jacket of the order Hymenoptera, and his buddy (also called Fred because who can tell the difference) come for a drink in the early afternoon.  We are respectful of one another.  I pause my laps so that they can sit and drink.  In return, they do not buzz me nor sting me. This negotiated peace, which began with flailing and swooping and various attempts to dominate the other, has lasted comfortably for a decade.  There's no dilly dallying on either of our parts - they drink and fly away, I stop as soon as I see them. Apparently, the orang...

They begin to close up as evening falls. They are fecund. And then the sun comes out, and one by one they begin to open, exposing the pollen in all its glorious stickiness. You can see it in the blossom lower left above. and all over below. These are very unfriendly plants.  Even the javelinas don't eat them. Those curved spines are very sharp and very strong. After all, their job is to protect beauty in the desert.   I'd say they are doing a very good job.

I think of Laurence Harvey as a one-dimensional actor. He broods. He also evinces a raw sexuality every time he enters a room... especially the  Room at the Top . As TBG said - he's effortlessly commanding the space, while doing nothing.   Simone Signoret is brilliant and the photography is often very special, but the best part about the movie is that face.   We paused for a bathroom break with this on the screen. TBG came back to the couch to find me staring, rapturously, at the frozen image. I took a picture so that we could continue watching the movie.... and so that I could share that face with you. His acting doesn't do much for me, but, oh, that face.

August 24, 1975 It was a hot, humid, wonderful day. Hard to believe it was 47 years ago. The same things annoy us about one another today as they did then.  We just don't notice them any more.

I sat in the sunshine, waiting for the bbq to cook the hot dogs.  They required very little tending.  My attention wandered.  My eyes closed. I was feeling the sun on my skin,  reveling in the warmth and the peace. An airplane flew overhead and I was immediately transported to the beach, on any summer afternoon, lying on a blanket, feeling the sun on my skin, listening to the waves and the airplanes.   There were always airplanes - we lived and played under the approaches to JFK and LaGuardia airports.  But the beach airplanes were often propeller planes.  They flew lower than the commercial planes that carried passengers to far flung destinations.  These dragged banners behind them, promoting sunscreen and radio stations.   I could feel the sand.  I could hear the ocean.  I was a teenager once again. It only lasted a few moments.  It was wonderful.

Auntie M has been searching for help with the house cleaning ever since her former helper retired after 25 years of caring for them..  She, herself, was irreplaceable. But the need did not vanish with her.  Houses do not clean themselves.  Auntie M has no business being up on a ladder or bending down to mop a floor.  She struggled to find a reliable source of labor.   Down to the last 4 of the dozen or so names on the list she gleaned from friends and acquaintances, she stumbled upon a woman who showed up on the appointed day, at the appointed hour.  That, in itself, was a surprise; her last potential employee insisted that she would arrive the day before Auntie M expected her.  Auntie M's No  led to her being ghosted.   This woman was friendly and energetic and there they were,  Auntie M and her new house cleaner, on a sunny afternoon.  Cleaning was happening.  All was right in the world. And then, Auntie M went into...

My son prizes efficiency.  Wasted effort annoys him.   His wife grew up in a Soviet Socialist Republic.  She wastes nothing. At dinner, he laughingly decried the cost/benefit of her waste free method of cutting an apple.  Halving it then cutting out the core in a close circle seems less efficient than cutting around the edges of the fruit, leaving the core encased in a protective rectangle before landing in the trash. Queen T never knew when the next apple would appear in the market.  Every morsel was precious.  She would never waste a single bite. That disposable rectangle hurt her in her heart.  Because of that, he undergoes the arduous process with love in his heart, and snark in his eyes.   I love them both.   I had an apple corer in the drawer.  After a brief description and evaluation each was satisfied.  I was happy to have had a solution at hand.  The conversation moved on. But I was struck by how an appl...

The surgery went well.  The experience was totally satisfactory.   As with any interaction with a large institution, some parts were better than others, but the patient came through alive and repaired and we were home by 2pm. Home with a pile of medication, a stack of paperwork, and a list of instructions buried somewhere in there.  At least, I thought that there would be real instructions, written down, in an easy to follow format.  After all, that's what the dentist sent home with  LiLou  today. Instead, I relied on the notes I had scribbled on the instructions, as the nurse ran through them, quickly, efficiently, but with a purpose and she was going to get there no matter what.  TBG was on the bed, ready to leave as soon as I signed the papers.  No pressure.  None. I remembered a lot from my own surgery, and that helps me now.  I know that 1 pain pill every 3 hours - rather than 2 every 6 hours - evens out the effects, eliminatin...

Checking in was easy and quick.  There was no time to fret over the mask-below-the-nose guy sitting across from us.  Registration was simple.  Verify who you are and what you're here for, turn over your Advance Directive/Living Will, attach a wristband, find the elevators (they were on the left, not the right as we were directed), and go to the Surgery Area. The mask-below-the-nose-guy followed us here, but turned around and left so there was still no need to fret.  Kellie, our nurse, came right away and took us back to #15, a large, curtained roomette.  She explained the further cleansing required (6 warm, coated, disposable washcloths) and left us to it.   Dressed in his hospital gown, he lay on the bed and waited. And waiting is the hardest part.   The surgeon came in.  He was ready.  The anesthesiologists came in and did their poking and sticking and prepping   And we waited.  I just want this done already.  ...

I don't know if I've ever heard surfeit  said out loud.  In fact, I think that is true. Thus sayeth my son.  He cooks.  He certainly didn't learn that talent from me; I like to eat, so I learned to cook  was his answer to my inquiry about the origins of his skills. We spent one memorable early evening discussing the differences between slicing, chopping, dicing, and mincing.  Why in the world would that make a difference  turned to a deeper understanding of how the bigger bites took longer to cook/imparted more crunch/changed the color of the dish/took less time to prepare.  There have been times when he's called to ask which is bigger - dicing or mincing? I  love it when calling mom is faster than watching a YouTube video. He introduced us to Blue Apron , the ingredients-and-instructions-in-a-box service.  Their recipes are simple to follow.  Their spicing is often unusual.  They encourage creativity.  After a while, we b...

Good Morning from #LiLou_sfpig Yes, she's a bit startling, but what can you do.... she's a pig. She and her Pig Parents have been delightful distractions. I had no time to blog. I promise to be more diligent tomorrow. Today, I spent enjoying some of my favorite people on the planet.... and, their pig.

TBG had a rough time last Friday night.  He was antsy and angsty and angry.  He was confused and befuddled and annoyed.  It was internal, solving a problem of his own making, tossing it around, waiting for the aha moment which never seemed to come. Sleep wasn't on the agenda.  For either of us. To say that we were lethargic on Saturday morning would be giving us more credit than we deserved.  With the sun out and breakfast in our bellies, the solution slid right out in front of us.  We were happy to have a plan, but we were exhausted... in our minds and our souls. We were never mad at one another, but the yucky aura was still floating around the house.  We ordered Chinese food to be delivered and, of course, TBG turned on the television and began scrolling.... until we both yelled STOP  at the same time. Charade.     Roman Holiday.    How to Steal a Million . Cary Grant.  Gary Cooper.  Peter O'Toole. Audrey Hepburn. ...

FAMBB and I were locker partners, in each others lives, every day, by choice, for years.  We decorated our little spaces together; Gone With the Wind held a distinct place of honor for quite a while, as I recall.   We grew up side by side, stumbling through our teens, she, a Catholic girl with 7 siblings and I, a Jewish girl with attitude.  There were many things which held us together, not the least of which was that I found her stories about home as interesting as she seemed to find mine.   Most of our stories were about our mothers. We loved our mothers and they loved us, no doubt about it.  We knew that deep down they were fine women.  It was just all the stuff surrounding the wonderfulness that got in the way. You remember, don't you?  Clothes ( That's a short skirt, isn't it?)   Hair (Do your bangs have to go into your eyes?)  Dating (What's wrong with your cousin's friend's brother?  He seems like a nice boy......

TBG is having a knee replacement next Tuesday.  Big Cuter is bringing his whole crew (wife, pig, work materials) on Saturday for some hands on loving and help.  We don't think his father will require heavy lifting, but it's good to know that someone larger than I am will be around should the need arise. In preparation for the arrival of guests whose food preferences differ from ours, I've been cleaning out the refrigerator and the freezer.  There were many interesting discoveries pushed behind taller containers.  Several of those discoveries introduced me to new colors.  I researched mold spores and found that soft cheeses allow for invisible-to-the-naked-eye strands of unhealthy-ness.  All of that is gone.   I read the Use By labels on everything and discarded appropriately.   I discovered that I should have bought more hot dogs at Costco.  I found the sour cream I knew I had but couldn't find ... a long time ago.  I consolida...

Donald Trump has a very big house in Florida.  It keeps showing up on the television, aerial views of red tile roofs and parking lots with perfectly marked spaces.  I'm having a hard time figuring out if the circular driveway is to his own personal front door or the door of the golf club.   I don't know a lot of people who have paved parking lots for their guests.  Then again, there aren't a lot of people like Donald Trump. And this wasn't the best thing that happened.  The IRA (Inflation Reduction Act.... or DRC, the Democrat Retention Act) passed the Senate and will go to the House on Friday and suddenly the future does not seem to end in our planet burning up in my grandchildren's lifetime.  It's a really big deal and I wish it didn't have to share the news cycle with Donald Trump. Not one Republican in the Senate voted for this bill.  I wonder how many of them will campaign on the good it does.  Probably the same ones who threw a hissy fi...

Kansas.  Oh, am I in love with Kansans right now.  I want to send a donation to Kansas voters who decied that changing their State's Constitution was just not something they were interested in doing. What makes me even happier is how surprised the pundits and the Forced Birth Folks were by the outcome.  There they were, thinking that the Supreme Court's majority seeking to impose their religious beliefs on the rest of us was just the world righting itself on its axis. Not so fast, honey bunch.  Apparently, voters in Kansas want to be able to make their own decisions about their own bodies, without the government intervening. I am, once again, struck by how small government conservatives have no problem inserting the government between me and my body. ***** My friend, Daniel Hernandez, was the only one of his siblings s who didn't win on Tuesday.   He's a good hearted young man with lots of potential..... and he would have picked up the phone to talk t...

I managed to squeeze out more than a week's worth of posts from this event.  That, in and of itself, made it a success.  But it was so much more.  Everyone was on their best behavior - a feat rarely accomplished with this group.   Everyone looked lovely and felt lovely and the weather cooperated.  After a couple of hot and steamy days, the event was held under sunny, blue skies.  The cool breeze was welcome and not chilly, though we were on a rooftop near the water.  The sun set behind the Statue of Liberty as we went inside for dinner. It was perfect.  Just like the happy couple: And, because she's my niece and she designed and sewed her own dress and I think you should see it, here they are: Chic nudity..... she nailed it. Thanks for revisiting the event with me, denizens.  I'll be back next week with comments on Kansas and election deniers and my return to Prince Elementary School.  Enjoy your weekend!

Before the Big Event on Saturday night, Sister treated her female relatives to A Complete Makeover.   There were seven of us.  It took all afternoon.  We were told to arrive with wet hair (shampoo and conditioner, please) and clothes that did not go over our heads.   This was serious.  We each received a goodie bag of product, just in case.  Sister booked a second room in the hotel.  She imported her hairdresser (who also does Nancy Pelosi's hair, a fact which makes Sister inordinately happy)                                                             and a makeup artist and his (sister) assistant from Manhattan to Brooklyn for the day. A/B with hairdresser assistant and makeup and blown out hair. She ordered food from a Mediterranean restaurant, because there was no way anyo...

We were worried.  Or, as Sister said as she opened her toast to the new bride and groom Be afraid!  Be very afraid! There were a lot of people who didn't speak to one another - like, really didn't speak to one another, like for years.  In the run up to the wedding there was great concern about appropriate behavior, or the lack thereof.  Years of anger, anguish, frustration, fury, disappointment, heartbreak, misunderstandings, and miscommunications had the potential to create a Housewives of Brooklyn  scenario.   In some way, I was kinda looking forward to that.  Being around a storm, not of my own making  but involving people I love and am connected to and cannot avoid forever - it had potential for weeks of blog posts.   Happily, there was none of that.  People were on their best behavior.  Emotional intelligence shone from those least likely to exhibit it, based on past circumstances.  Those who didn't like one anot...

The view from our room at the Holiday Inn on Schermerhorn Street in Boerum Hill in Brooklyn.  It was supposed to be a view of the Verrazano Bridge.  Obviously,  that didn't happen.  Instead,  we saw the top of the Hare Krishna Temple.  There is much praying,  of a solitary nature.  There will be more details as the week unfolds. 

They were aware of all the potential drama but were not dissuaded from making a public statement of their devotion.   They are kind and thoughtful and respectful  - coming to the other's aid when the chaos comes too close.  They see what they don't want to repeat, but that's not what you see when you look at them.  What they exude, from every pore, is love.   Not the overwhelming, touchy-touchy, lovey-dovey, somewhat nauseating displays of affection that make me cringe, but resting a hand on an arm or a leg, unconsciously, just trying to be closer, positions that say confidence in the relationship, warmth from the relationship, comfort and safety and stability and joy and surprise at having found someone she actually wants to marry. TBG and I spent a long, lazy, lovely afternoon with them here in Tucson; our delight in their relationship has only grown.   It's that surprise that makes me happiest.  She was never going to marry.  She...