The Burrow

I always said that we were best situated to weather this disastrophe.   Our income is secure (thank you, TBG, for making sure of that).  We have lots of our own indoor and outdoor space to roam.  We have no place we have to be, and no one who depends on us to be there.  We receive all the channels in the land (except as Xfinity removes them, one by one, from our package). There's no snow, no hurricanes, no tornadoes or dangerous microbursts to keep us inside.   Once the library made their books available to pick up, everything seemed perfect. We've watched the grandkids grow up, Facetiming every evening as they dine and we give Little Cuter a dose of parental love.  It's been a privilege to see the day to day changes; that's more than we would have gotten had Pandemica not intruded. But it did.  And I am So Over It. There, I said it. Through all my privilege (cf paragraphs two and three), I'm still morose.  I should be grateful that I'm ...

Scrolling through an alumni email, scanning the headlines while watching Last Time I Saw Paris , a  smile nearly broke my face.  I'm going to tell you why, but it takes a story. I've never had a problem buying books for kids.  Read alouds and picture books and chapter books and poetry, geographically specific books ( Blueberries for Sal for a Mainer's grandson) and interest specific books and books I think everyone should have ( D'Aulaire's   Greek and Roman and Norse myths) -  I could shop like that for hours. But toys are harder.   I have certain limits. I won't buy Barbies because you can't run on tiptoes like that.  I won't buy weaponry beyond swords and light sabers.  Beyond that, I'm lost.  While it's hard to watch their interests change from a distance, buying ephemera would give a momentary rush of pleasure.... and then become an offering at the neighborhood yard sale.   We have enough stuff, Mama usually stop...

I started at 8:15, 45 minutes before the gates were to open.   I opened two tabs for the AZDHS.gov website on Lenore the Lenovo, one with all my information, one with TBG's.  Clicking before 9am did nothing but reset the entire form, forcing me to reenter all those pesky numbers and letters again.   (Question for the concerned:  why does my Medicare number have 0's and O's.... one a number and one a letter, neither of which is easy to discern from the card or when it's been typed into a form.  We are old people; our vision is not what it used to be.  This is unkind as well as unintelligent - people are going to make mistakes.) I then went on to the Pima County site; same links, but also a discrete mention of a phone number at Tucson Medical Center, our community hospital over on the east side of town.  I dialed and it didn't ring forever.  It didn't give me a busy signal.  Instead, there was a recorded voice telling me everything I ...

There are vaccines that have been distributed but not put in anyone's arm. There are states where over 65's stroll into appointments like royalty, if the stories on tv are to be believed. West Virginia is at the top of the We Did It Best list..... West Virginia????? The lack of planning is staggering.  While the vaccine was being developed,  no one on any level was developing a comprehensive strategy for inoculating the populace.  Leave it to the states  put the plan in the hands of Doug Ducey, Governor Ice Cream, who was busy figuring out how to appease the Trumpies while displaying some semblance of sanity, visible to the rest of us.  He failed.  He and Cindy McCain were censured by those Republicans.  Meanwhile, those of us who he is sworn to preserve and protect are dealing with a website structure that could have been dealt with months ago. As soon as it became  obvious that the vaccines were imminent, registration should have opened. ...

I had a screed all prepared in my head.  I ranted and raved and crafted an exquisite description of my feelings about members of Congress who supported sedition. Then, I woke up to a steady downpour, actual raindrops perking up my cacti and the succulents who have been deprived of their usual, albeit meager, yearly ration of water.  Another post developed, about the possibilities when evil is washed away, about how, if you're adaptable, you can get by with just a little bit of love and attention. For a brief moment, I toyed with writing about sports, because TBG has been consumed with the NFL all day.... but I had a hard time remembering what team's laundry Tom Brady was wearing and I figured that if I couldn't muster enough enthusiasm to follow it even that closely then I shouldn't burden you with half formed thoughts. I'm reading the unready books on my shelves, first editions acquired through a  Book Passage  promotion the summer we left Marin.  They've sat, ...

I'm still smiling. Scarlet and I played online mah jongg this morning, but mostly we talked about yesterday.  Everything we liked we both liked, in the same way, with the same over the top but what about !!!!! After a deep dive into the Twitterverse, my guy in the sneakers carrying the littlest fur clad member  turns out to be a lot more interesting than " I'm gonna be walking and carrying my kid; I better be comfortable" He's Nikolas Ajagu, the partner (or the husband - Professor Google was unable to agree) of  Vice President Harris's niece, Meena Harris, and a bigwig at Facebook.  Those kicks sold for $2,200   (or $2,000 - again, Prof. Google fails us) off the rack, as befits a partnership between Dior and Nike's Air Jordan brand. Personally, I have no clothing that cost $2,000.  If I did, I probably wouldn't let it touch the ground.  I'm just sayin'. The girls with the adorable matching coats are Vice President Harris's nieces, her siste...

Was it the sunny skies and the flapping flags and the colors on the Mall? Was it the fabulous coats the women were wearing or their magical ability to stand and walk and look strong and graceful while wearing stilettoes? Was it Lady Gaga looking up at the flag, Garth Brooks and his cowboy hat or was it JLo and all her bling?  Was it how crisp and clean everything looked so soon after armed marauders broke down the doors?   Was it the fact that we were doing this at all? Did you like " a whole bunch of Bidens"  or were you more entranced by the family surrounding Doug and Kamala?  TBG and I were taken with the guy in jeans and sneakers, carrying the littlest fur clad member down Pennsylvania Avenue. Was it that you didn't have to hear anything about the former occupant of the office?  This one is right up at the top of my list, right there with those ridiculously matchy-matchy shoes Nancy Pelosi had on (okay, maybe I am a little fashion obsessed for some rea...

That smile. Those open arms. Eyes, looking up and forward. And a tie that's not hanging down to his crotch, a suit coat that buttons over his belly, and the ability to string 4 words together without dismissing or damning or disparaging another human being. Four years ago I was distraught, straining for a glimpse of the Obamas behind the Trumpian phalanx of deplorables.  Today I am going to make every sweet thing I can imagine for breakfast, and sprinkle sugar over those things which don't normally require it.  I'm going to concentrate on hope and courage and confidence in America. Tomorrow, I want them to take down those horrible black barriers and gates.  Tomorrow, I want them to start sharing the charges they'll level against the Terrorist in Chief and his minions.  Tomorrow, I will give vent to the rage that I have been storing up for 4 long and torturous years. Today, I'm going to celebrate.  I'm going to clear my brain and scrub the corners where Trump lin...

It's been four full years since he started talking about American carnage.   That's all it took to bring our democracy perilously close to its knees.  Members of Congress did not vote to certify the election of the next President of the United States.  One of those votes they wanted to discount was mine.   I take umbrage with this.   I've always been willing to do some of the heavy lifting required to maintain our democratic norms.  I've protested and voted and written and recruited and advocated and made my presence and my opinions known.  Nobody elected by someone in Nebraska has the right to say that my vote does not matter.  I've done the work (and even if I hadn't); I get to speak  Of course, by saying that I am assuming that we are dealing with the same set of facts.  Living here in the real world, I often forget that there are a disturbingly large number of individuals who barely believe that the earth is round....

My children memorized I Have a Dream  the way my classmates and I memorized The Gettysburg Address.    They are both passionate defenses of the American dream - one nation, with liberty and justice for all.  That's the dream.  It's never been realized, though every once in a while our better natures shine through and we do something right.   It's never been tried across such a large, heterogenous conglomeration of individual fiefdoms - religious, cultural, political, economic bubbles refusing to share or bump into one another without a confrontation.  It's never been easy, or conflict free.   In the Spring of 1970 we drove from Ithaca, NY to Washington, DC for the Mobilization Against the War.  We passed cars filled with people our age, who looked like us, who shared peace signs through the windows as we journeyed together, part of a caravan of young people who were part of a movement that followed Dr. King's notion of peaceful prot...

I feel marginally safer right now, although the country still feels like it's going to hell in a handbasket.  Order was restored, the people's business is receiving attention, and it looks as if the information that was provided to those who were responsible for the safety of Congress was accurate and timely. Why there was such a lapse between insurrection and control remains an open issue.  So many balls were dropped.  So many calls were not taken.  So many helping hands were refused.  It will take a while to sort it all out, but I have confidence that the work will get done. Why? Because now that the shooting has stopped what's left is the fear, and fear is a great motivator.   Staffs are threatening mass resignations if something is not done - and that something includes voting to impeach the instigator in chief. There are 10 Republican members of the House of Representatives who voted with all the Democrats.  Only 10.  Of the rest, many s...

There's nothing I can say that you don't expect me to say. I need to vent and this is my forum so I'll apologize in advance if this is old news or the same-old-same-old.  It's weighing on my chest and my brain and my heart.  I have to get it out There are conspirators amongst our elected officials, giving tours to terrorists. Two impeachments in one term, both foreign and domestic, just like the enemies he was sworn to protect us from..... and don't get me started on the virus, which has slipped from our consciousness as the numbers rise and vaccine distribution remains a mystery to all but a privileged few... and they don't seem to want to share. I could go on, but why?  I feel better having typed just that much. I'd really like to post about the unexpected bounty of late season tomatoes off a plant that's three years old, some popped warm from the sun into my mouth, the rest nestled comfortably in the pocket of the softest sweater I've ever owned. ...

In the early 2000's Big Cuter walked down the Capitol steps, fuming.  He phoned home from those steps, bemoaning the fact that his interview in the office of  Republican Representative Darryl Issa had devolved into a  How could you have worked for this radical leftist last summer  (San Francisco Supervisor Mark Leno) rather than an exploration of what he could offer this man's constituents.  He went in for a job interview and found himself skewered on the spit of partisan politics.  It was surprising, odd, out of the ordinary, not at all what he (or his parents or the mutual friend who arranged the meeting) thought would happen.   "He didn't listen, Mom.  He just kept shoving more and more paper in front of me, trying to prove his point." We didn't recognize it then, but in retrospect it seems like a very early and very clear sign of the American divide.  I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing we can gain by sharing a space. ...

I started out scared, went through fury, and now I'm just sad.  Anybody else out there feeling that way, too?   It's hard to tell from the talking heads or the letters to the editor or the articles online and in the paper (yes, the hard copy, newsprint all over my fingers, actual newspaper.  I'll do anything I can to support local journalism.). I see "leaders" inciting violence and no armed, shielded, baton wielding law enforcement officers holding them in place.  I see one Capitol policeman luring a mob of white guys up the stairs and away from the open door to the Senate floor and I cry.... for his bravery, for his quick thinking, and for the sheer awfulness of these thugs roaming the people's halls. For they are our halls.  They embody everything that's wonderful about this country, everything that my parents drilled into my head with almost yearly visits to DC, to our Senator's office (so Daddooooo could thank Mr. D'Amato for the skating rink a...

Jan 10, 2021 (the weekend after the Capitol was breached) It's important that you know how it feels to be alive right now, in the midst of an insurrection, the first battle of which was fought in our Capitol - inside the actual building - on January 6, 2021.   Right now, domestic terrorists are mobilizing for another battle on January 17th, and another on Inauguration Day, January 20th. Why, you may wonder, would the insurgents announce their plans in advance?  It seems kind of silly.  If the people in charge know you are coming, won't they be prepared to rebuff you, to repel you, to arrest and imprison you for violating the laws of the land?  But these terrorists knew that the main man in charge was on their side.  They could see no security presence, the way BLM marchers saw it when a photo op seemed the correct response to a nation in pain. They were unprepared.  They were absent.  I couldn't understand it. I kept saying,  "Where are the p...

I am unprepared for the full onslaught of Trump-is-the-President angst I thought I'd put behind me.  I was used to breathing freely, confident that change was possible.  With control of the Senate, real progress was on the horizon. I was a happy girl. ***** I can't believe it took anyone this long to realize that he's not going to get any better, that as the time comes for that-which-is-untenable-for-his-brain-to-comprehend, he will explode or implode and the rest of us will pay the price for a long long time. ***** Susan Collins was right - he learned the same lesson from his impeachment that he learned every time Daddy bailed him out, or he sued his foes into submission.  There are no consequences when you are Donald J Trump.   ***** Cabinet members are resigning and leaving us with this mess.   Invoke the 25th Amendment and then walk away,  if you think that meaningless gesture will do anything to polish your reputation. ***** I woke TBG up wit...

Georgia has two Democratic Senators, one of whom sets a new bar for nice, Jewish boys.  Queen T had a good thing happen at work.  Virtual Garden Club with the 5th grade was a rousing success. TBG and I settled down to watch the Joint Session of Congress do the people's business. And then all hell broke loose. Nothing I wrote yesterday seems relevant. My memories, my clean closets, by generalized angst are small change compared to what streamed across my television screen all day.   My plaintive "Where are the police?" was met with my son's "C'mon, Mom, these are white people." I've been scared all day.  My house has never been cleaner..... it was the only thing I could think to do with myself as I watched and listened and fretted and ranted. I felt less anxious when the Senate and the House announced that they would convene tonight.  I relaxed even further when the Leaders said they would stay all night and finish the people's business. I felt a ...

It's Tuesday.  There's an election in Georgia, there's an attempt by the Arizona GOP Chair to throw out my ballot, and the anniversary of my perforation is coming up.  There should be lots for me to write about.   There should be.  But I'm having a hard time getting fired up about any of it. I wrote my postcards and letters to Georgia Democrat leaning voters.  Watching the televised nonsense isn't moving Ossof or Warnock closer to the finish line, so I've given that up entirely.  I've done what I can and I'm moving on, in keeping with my resolution to find peace and enjoy it. The radio isn't helping much in this endeavor.  I can avoid the talking heads on tv by leaving the room, but my car radio and NPR are inseparable; I have to remember to change to KXCI, our community radio station, before I am bombarded with voices purporting to know the unknowable.  Once the thought is put into my head, I'm doomed. Kelli Ward lost an election, got hersel...

I spent Sunday packing all the holiday boxes except the tree's ornaments and lights,   after spending the previous week organizing  and repurposing and recycling and donating.  I found myself with empty shelves where there had been chaos. The green box on the floor contains books that must find space on a bookshelf.  Its resting place is temporary, low enough that I can reach the contents without straining, and meets Queen T's exacting standards for space in A Finished Closet. She grew up cleaning out the old year and starting the new year fresh, her space reflecting the way she would like to live every day.  It was Marie Kondo and my father rolled up in a helpful young human who shlepped and lifted and shifted and wiped and swept and did all the things that a deep clean requires, all the things that my shattered hip aches just thinking about, all the things that have kept me from starting these projects on my own. She was up and down without holding onto a...

Some things have not changed at all.   DJT is still trying to undermine our democracy, still behaving as if he is untethered from reality, still in charge of the nuclear codes.  I am neither more nor less frightened than I was last Sunday night, even having read the entire transcript between our President and Georgia's Secretary of State . I'm still delighted by those who wonder about the political future of a man I am certain is going to prison.  I still wonder what Javanka are telling their children about Grandfather, what Baron hears about Daddy at school, and what Kimberly Guilfoyle is doing on anybody's radar. Mark Kelly and Gabby Giffords continue to inspire, ten years after our lives collided.  My hip hurts about the same as it did a year ago, but I'm much more flexible and spry, able to be on my feet for more hours before I collapse in a heap. Tucson, although too far from the world's sweetest grandchildren, is still the perfect place for our aging and a...