And Now It's Tuesday

And we're home and life is much better.

A hospitalist listened and questioned and followed him from the hallway to the private room (Be very grateful about this!) spending all the time needed to figure out what came next.  She was the first person to consider the why, to share the lab results and what they might and eventually did reveal, and to help us create a viable plan going forward.

There are still so many floating pieces, so many appointments and tests and treatments to schedule.  There's so much to understand.  We have insurance and the means to pay for it (and all its hefty deductible and co-pays).  We have no work or child care obligations.  We have smart and supportive family and friends, and we're not afraid to abuse them.  I am comfortable dealing with the system.

I've spent all day watching soccer and swimming and cooking and recognizing that I live a very privileged life.  A change in any one of those pieces would throw everything else out of kilter.  Two or three blips and chaos looms.

Most of America does live one kidney stone away from disaster.  I'm anxious and exhausted and living on the edge of overwhelmed and there's nothing I need that I don't have or can't get.  And I'm not most of America.