What Four Days With A Toddler Taught Me

5:35 am is an appropriate time to begin crooning.  The fact that the adult charged with your care has no interest in facing the shower at 5:36 am is of no consequence.
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Patience can be taught.

I responded to my babies' first cries from the crib; Little Cuter and SIR have allowed FlapJilly to figure out, for herself, how to rejoin the world.  This interlude between sleep and Come Get Me NOW allows the caregiver to wash and brush and comb and dress before assuming the role of Attendant in Chief.  It also taught the kid that all things come to those who wait.

Would that someone had taught that to me.
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Never have splash time in the tub while clothed.  This applies to both the participant and the observer.

Do not think that a bathrobe will protect you. A bathrobe is useless.  A towel on top of a bathrobe is useless.

Requesting that care be taken when the pitcher is gleefully and competently dumped on the participant's own head are drowned out by the delighted shrieks of the drenched baby and are, similarly, useless.

Prepare to be ensorceled... and very, very wet.
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Life with a toddler involves narration.

This became obvious today. I told TBG that I was going to put on one sock, then the next sock, and then one shoe......
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Eat and sleep when you can, for opportunities should never be wasted.

My first morning's hopes for oatmeal were dashed when FlapJilly's polite request for her bag of balls overwhelmed my heart... and my hunger.

I never made that mistake again.

She enjoyed her cottage cheese while I enjoyed my yogurt.

It's a good thing that cottage cheese curds adhere to one another. FlapJilly's method of ingesting did not include my help once the scooping was completed.

She turned the whole utensil upside down and used her lower lip to extract its contents.

Sometimes, the curds fell into the pocket of the bib and extricating them became another, solitary task.

It was nice to sit back and relax and let someone else do the work for a while.
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The fact that Grandmas cannot command a fleeing, flying, flock of geese to return is something the candidates for President ought to address, if the outrage voiced by a certain small constituent is any indication of the seriousness of the matter.
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It is possible for the human heart to explode with joy.