On The Road Again

Sorry.  I have been remiss. I had a serious case of travel anxiety, for no real reason at all.  

We've flown Allegiant to South Bend dozens of times.  Little Cuter always picks us up.  We  know where we're sleeping, we have clothes in the closet, toiletries in a tote beside them, and 2% milk for TBG in the 'fridge.  

There was nothing to be nervous about, but there it was.

I sat down to write and I got nervous.

I walked around the outside of the house, smelling the creosote soaked air after a torrential downpour.  Usually, that smell sets my senses tingling.  On Wednesday, all I felt was angst.

I did some deep breathing.  I did some pushups.  I made a fruit smoothie with ginger and turmeric.  

None of it worked.

Thursday wasn't any better.  I packed, repacked, stressed about what I'd not packed..... the whole thing was becoming ridiculous.  I refused to take an Ativan for free floating anxiety circling around a wonderful event.  I had long talks with myself.  

I shared the situation with TBG, who was as flummoxed as I.  He's usually the one who's on edge, worrying about parking availability and weather delays and mechanical failures.  For some reason, all of that was sitting on my shoulders. 

Every time I sat down to type, all I could write was how crappy I felt for no reason at all.  There was no reason to share that with you, even though typing it out invariably helps.  I just didn't want to dwell in that space on purpose.

And here we are, in Indiana, surrounded by family and love and the softest, most loving puppy in the universe.  I'm smiling and happy and enjoying the fall colors.  My grandkids hug me and play hide and seek with me and share the books they're reading and the sports they're playing and the adults are happy at work and with each other.  

There's a school dance for FlapJilly tonight and basketball and soccer for Giblet tomorrow and, of course, there's Halloween. I'm not anxious at all.

Apparently, all I needed was to be around those I love.