Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Are We Accountable?

Am I responsible for my actions when I was 17?

Whatever your stand on the validity of  Dr. Ford's assertions, the larger question remains.  Can you be called to task today for things you did in high school?

Some would say YES, boldly and in italics.  Some would argue that change is inevitable and that an unruly teenager could mature into a responsible adult.  

And that is where the real apology comes in.  I don't remember it, but I was an abuser of alcohol in my high school days and, I am embarrassed to say, I am missing many weekends of my youth.  I don't like to think that I would have done such a heinous thing, but if her memory is better than mine then I apologize with all my heart.  It was unconscionable, inexcusable, and reprehensible.  Tell me what to do to make amends, and I'm on it.

I'd have an easier time with him were he man enough to man up.

It's not easy, but it's been done.  I know.  I was on the receiving end.  Here's an excerpt from my October, 2009 post about my high school reunion.
Then I heard my name - my childhood name, the name no one has called me for 4 decades - in a voice I would have recognized even out of context. Her freckles, her sparkly eyes, her hair (a little less red, but still thick and enviable), her just-like-her-mother-had perfectly polished nails and that voice, that voice that tormented me on the playground and on the street we shared and in our hallways and suddenly she was hugging me tightly and expressing joy at our meeting and telling everyone in earshot that we'd known each other since we were 1 year old and how great it was to see me and then she looked me in the eye, hugged me tighter and shook my world: "I was sooo mean to you when we were young. I am so sorry. I am so not that person anymore. Will you forgive me?"

I realized that I had nodded agreement with her admission of guilt - yes, you were mean to me. Like a ton of bricks it hit me that I had never, in all my life, admitted that fact out loud. We were friends. We lived on the same street. We played together as kids did back then, ringing doorbells at friends' houses up the street until you found someone at home to do something with. Our parents liked each other. I always knew she was mean to me, but we were still friends.

If anyone holds the key to the intricacies of a young girl's mind, please enlighten me. All I know now is that a knot which had been hiding in a storage locker in my soul is now sliced through. Vanished. I've been carrying around the little slights and the bigger hurts and she looked right into my eyes and brought it out into the open and squished it like a bug. I cried. She cried. People noticed and smiled as we hugged and laughed about her "12 Step Friendship Program" and from then on it was perfect.


  1. The sad part of all this is how one reckless moment could mean more than all the rest that came after. I don't know if he was the boy she remembers doing this to her or whether she called up a memory and filled in the gaps with names she knew but maybe didn't remember. I have read a lot about this and literally have no idea unless someone else comes forward to either validate it was him that night or it was not. IF she created the whole memory to explain something she couldn't get past, then nobody can prove anything as you can't prove something didn't happen. I suspect he's the least radical judge we could get if the Senate stays in Republican hands. If it does not, it'll be 2 years with 8 justices as Trump won't nominate a liberal and the Senate will be busy with impeachment proceedings as you know that comes as soon as they get power. And now death threats have gone out to her and her family. It's a vile time is all I can say and very upsetting-- my bp is up over it lol and yes, I am laughing at it because I should not let this kind of thing get to me-- but I have and so have many others, I'd guess.

  2. I should add that they said he routinely didn't drink that much, based on classmates, but if he had that one time and blacked out the memory, then he might literally not know he did it. Maybe he was too traumatized by actions he couldn't bear to remember as she claims she was for years. That's the terrible part of all this-- on both sides.

    1. Teens+alcohol=Bad decisions. It’s part of that boys will be boys culture, exemplified by the clip of him saying What happened at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep.
      The rush to seat him makes me nutty, too. I’m including Sen. Flake’s office on my daily routine; he’s on the right side, for once!


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