It's Really Happening

I've been denying it even as I spoke about it.  I know it's the right thing to do - I just don't like it very much.

Fast Eddie and JannyLou, the world's best neighbors ever, are preparing to leave their beautifully restored home right next door.  They are moving to a complex with more services and more conveniences and less need to drive and more activities and closer to their kids and there are a lot of reasons why this is the right move for them........ I just don't have to like it, do I?

I'm being totally selfish and I recognize that.  TBG feels the same way.  But the kids had a meeting and then the whole family had a meeting (Zoom helped) and it was decided.  The parents are loved and valued and respected and the kids want to keep them around for a long time to come - that was the message and there was no turning away from the conclusion.  

They're leaving us and we are feeling bereft.  No more of Fast Eddie's bbq prowess, no more I'm bringing you soup because I made too much, no more spur of the moment lunches or 4pm dinners.  No more girl talk under the trees between our houses, outside where we can scream and not annoy our spouses, together and sharing and not having to do anything but walk out the door .

Did I mention that they've been the perfect neighbors?

The kids, fully functioning adults with adult children of their own, spent Saturday clearing out the garage.  I thought about walking over...... 

I'm laughing at myself as I write this.  Denial is really my favorite defense mechanism.  I'm just going to go along as if nothing is changing.  I loved looking at the floorplans and imagining the views, but I'm not quite ready to people my imagination with my friends inside those apartments.

I'll get there.  We'll still email and text and I'll drive up to Phoenix because they are too special to lose.  It won't be the same, but it will be right.  Without a big house to tend, there will be space in their lives for the fun stuff - for learning and playing and exercise.  They'll be close to the kids and some of the grandkids.  Most important was JannyLou's summary of the decision, one that shut me up and comforted me at the same time:

I'd rather be 5 years too early than 5 minutes too late.

There's no arguing with that.  This is planned and thoughtful and the main participants are fully engaged in every decision.  It's aging with grace.  I'm happy for them.

Really, I am.