Thursday, August 6, 2020

Ouch

Jonathan Swan's Axios interview with DJT was a candidate for this post.  For some reason.... okay, for many reasons..... it makes me extraordinarily happy.  The man's a blithering idiot, waving around charts with big (seriously big), bright bars of color and pouting that the interviewer couldn't ask questions that weren't on the chart.  

TBG and I sat, fascinated, then closed our eyes and couldn't tell if we were listening to Alec Baldwin or the real deal.  We opened our eyes and imagined Sarah Cooper lip syncing his words.  The exercise made it a bit more palatable.... and then I started to giggle.  The whole thing is so ridiculous, and Mr. Swan was so meticulous, and yes the Modern Major General did come to mind.

But that's about all I had that to share.

The faunae (isn't that a great plural?)  are racing and slithering and scampering and leaping (yes, it's leaping when you're a bunny covering great distances on tiny little legs) and soaring  above and across the deser these days, and they, too could have been fodder for this post.

But, on Monday I mopped the floors, from stem to stern, with broad, swipes criss-crossing the tiles and my body.  The bucket is on wheels; I carried nothing heavier than the towel covered pole I dipped and wiped and dipped and wiped.  

Then, I did an hour-ish of Pilates, from the fabulous Vimeo classes my studio has uploaded  

Sometimes I forget that I'm not 25 years old any more.  Sometimes my heart and my mind and my body are in sync.  I was in the cleaning zone on Monday morning.  I could feel the mop moving with my shoulder girdle, sometimes pivoting my hips, sometimes using my lower abdominals to hold my hips in place as I twisted around my spine, mop in hand.  Pilates asked a lot of me, and I gave what I could, which felt like a lot.

Then, I stood up.

Some things are not meant to be, and me being erect at that moment was one of those things.  I know just when I wrenched the muscles that are now being cosseted by my herbal heating pillow; I know I won't be repeating that particular motion any time soon.  

I'm medicated, inside and out.  I have a loving husband who is willing to rub my aches and soreness.  I have a hard foam roller that provides luscious myofascial relief.  I have a pool for lolling and for stretching and for separating all the vertebrae which are trying desperately to crunch together here on dry land.

It's nice to have a plain old sports injury, I suppose.  I can blame it on my shattered hip and destroyed quadriceps, which put me more at risk for failure as I tried to roll up and over so that my legs were parallel to the floor and my feet were above my head. All that in one fluid motion she said on the video, and I, 68 going on 25, attempted to do just that.

I made it.  I felt it.  I am feeling it now.

Thanks for listening, denizens.  It helps to whine out loud.

4 comments:

  1. I am really having a difficult time envisioning "legs were parallel to the floor and my feet were above my head." That sounds very tortuous.
    We bought a steam mop for the tile floors. Movement is back and forth with the arms, very little engaging of the abs. We bought extra pads for it for multiple passes through the kitchen area. For some reason the builder thought it would be a good idea to install textured tile in the high traffic areas.
    I do hope you recover from this quickly.

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    1. Heating pads. Stretching on the roller. Swimming. It's helping.
      Lying on my back, raise legs to the ceiling, then lower legs parallel to the floor so that your toes are over your head. It was lifting my legs from the floor up and over that wrenched my back. It's really a lovely stretch...if you can get there
      a/b

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  2. Three weeks out from spine surgery, I hurt just reading about your activity. I am still moving very carefully and very slowly.
    I watched some of the Axios video, but had to give up. Unless you can make a parody of it, as you seemed to do, it is just too distressing to think that that man is the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! And some people want to keep him!

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    1. If I don't laugh, I cry. He sounded like a 10 year old.
      Take care of yourself.... slowly....very very slowly....
      a/b

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