It's not something that gets talked about a great deal at weddings. The focus is on the bride and the groom and the life that they will be creating together. The extended family is there to share the love. That's their role and, for the most part, they stick to it.
I, however, embraced the whole expanding family notion with open arms and a willing heart. I've created my own family out of the friends and colleagues I've met along my way. My girl, the bride, was looking for more. SIR brought them with him, in abundance.
There's MOTG, her mother-in-law, who manages to soothe the savage beast residing in my child with a smile, a touch and a gentle word. "You have attitude, Mom. She is just love!" Those words didn't hurt my heart, they made it grow. If it takes a village to raise a child; I'm appointing MOTG Mayor of Little-Cuter-ville. How wonderful to have another woman who loves my girl as much as I do and who now has standing to do something about it.
Big Bob is deeper than you'd imagine at first glance. Patriarch and provider and master repairer of all things damaged and in disrepair, there's a gentleness in his soul that is profoundly touching.Watching him watch our children join their lives together was nearly as moving as the ceremony itself. He's a big guy with a big heart and he's not afraid to share the love. He and TBG stood together on Saturday night and I watched them nodding and beaming and chatting up a storm and my heart was full.
SIR's sister takes credit for bringing the kids together, and I totally agree. She invited Little Cuter to her wedding to Eric-the-Red, and my girl was recognized by one and all... not as the girlfriend, but as that girl. Six weeks after his sister was wed, SIR and my daughter were a couple, not just best friends any more. Somehow, Mel knew that her love would envelop them and convince them and reorient them and she was right and we are grateful.... oh, so very very grateful.
Little Bob and his brood drove all night from LA to share the joy. Two sets of pre-teen twins and the warmest most wonderful wife in the world braved the Grapevine and the I-10 to frolic in the Misty Pool at the Omni and act as ushers at the wedding. The boys practised offering their arms and guiding gimpy moms to their seats and even though their services were less than necessary at the wedding they were trained and ready to perform. Dancing and flipping and smiling until they collapsed in a puppy-like-heap on Douglas sometime after midnight, they were shining examples of what is to come.
It was easy to see why they looked so happy; no one could be around The Goddess Diana and be anything but content. Some women bring comfort in their wake; Diana embodies it in her soul. She listens deeply and returns warmth and goodness and a comforting joy that (obviously) I am having difficulty putting into words. I think that's because it's not about the words... it's about the aura.. and hers is golden and inviting and I want some right now! Little Bob gives the world's best hugs; I'm thinking that his Goddess bride has been giving some lessons.
There were so many cousins, so very many cousins. There were A-Girls, three young women who have enhanced Little Cuter's life with their antics and their love from his side. There were the Maryland girls, one nursing a cold and one filled with stories and laughter, from her side. There was the youngest one who cut short her fellowship trip to return for the wedding "because it was the right thing to do." She may say that, but I know that she came so that she could see for herself what she predicted ten years ago at a Maryland bat-mitzvah: my girl was the first cousin in her generation to be married.
We had brothers and sisters and grandmothers. We had friends. We had no obligations, no business acquaintances who had to be invited. This was a wedding filled with people who wanted to be there, and no one else.
And they are all mine!
*****
I know you are all waiting for pictures. So am I. As soon as they are discovered, they will be posted. I promise.
This is how families should unite. Alas, my family is so dysfunctional and my husband's more normal, they have enveloped me into their family. I'm envious because I wish me and my hubby's families were like this, but it just wasn't to be. My mother is a loon and we don't associate with her. She isn't nice to me or my sister and thus I decided about ten years ago to just not have that sort of person in my life. I look at life as a lifeboat. You keep people in your lifeboat whom you know will be there for you when you need them. People that drag you down, I keep out of my life. I have to be surrounded by people that I love and love me. My husband's family is like that. I adore my husband's family. I love my MIL, but lately, she's giving us the guilt trip of, "your lives are so busy, don't worry about me". Besides that though, we all get along fabulously.
ReplyDeleteCount yourself as one of the lucky ones when it comes to inheriting family. :)
Megan xxx