Thursday, July 2, 2020

I'm Old

It started when the stay at home orders were just being introduced.  All of a sudden, I was in a Vulnerable Cohort.

I don't want to be in a Vulnerable Cohort.  I don't feel old enough to be in a Vulnerable Cohort.  When did this happen?  How is it that most of the people in my life are also in this Vulnerable Cohort?

When the guidelines came out, having to scroll down and down and down to find 1952 while registering for something on-line seemed more ominous than amusing.  Noticing that I was in the Over 65 category smacked me in the face with reality - I am more likely to die than I was 30 years ago.

Surprising?  Probably shouldn't be, but it is.

I watch Expedition Unknown on the Discovery Channel.  Josh Gates, the host, is a 21st century
Indiana Jones.  He swims into underground caves, climbs ancient ruins, descends (by rope) into venues that normal people would avoid even thinking about.  He travels by pushcart and motor bike and gyro-copter.  He camps out in the middle of the Kalahari Desert, or, in his words 
I'm in the middle of a zoo with no cages.  If anyone needs me, I'll be crying in my tent.
That's the kind of guy I'd love to join on an adventure.  He's the Anthony Bourdain of explorers; he is as interested in the people and their clothing and their foods and their lives as he is in finding the ancient city of.... the hidden treasure of.... the long lost relic buried beneath.....

All those extraneous pieces fascinate me.  The scary parts terrify me, but if Josh can do it so can I..... until I realize that I am 68 years old, with a reconstructed hip and the endurance of ...... I'm hard pressed to come up with an analogy of my lack of aerobic capacity.  There's no way in the world that he'd take me along.  I couldn't keep up, though my attitude would be upbeat and charming. 

I find myself having the same conversation in my head, over and over and over.  I could do that. That would be cool.  Too bad I have kids and a house and a husband; I'd go on that adventure in a heartbeat.  

It all feels very real, as if I actually could make a call and join the crew. 

And then I remember.  I'm old.

12 comments:

  1. It is a startling realization when it suddenly pops up. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and wonder what my mother is doing there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ME TOO!!I always had her mannerisms, but now I have her body!
      a/b

      Delete
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  2. WOMAN. You are not too old for adventure (post-pandemic, of course. Don't be insane). Your adventure may be a touch slower than you are used to, but it's never too late.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oops- that comment above was from me, not some anonymous stranger calling you WOMAN :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew it was you...... guess you're just going to have to be my guide!
      a/b

      Delete
  4. What gets me is when the newspaper has an article about an elderly woman being attacked and then I find her age as not even 70. I do not like the word elderly. I do like the word old though :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know!!! I like old and crone and elder. Adding the ly to elder seems feeble.
      a/b

      Delete
  5. At the moment, I am glad to be in the elder cohort so I can shop during the vulnerable shopper hours and avoid some of the idiots who refuse to mask or keep their distance.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, I'm almost 76 and I wasn't elderly until a few months ago when everything started falling apart. Now I'm having spine surgery next week, just before my birthday and I need to heal up from that so I can have a hip replacement. I want to go and have adventures, and then I remember. I can't.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nothing has made me feel older than reading the triage criteria for when the AZ hospitals reach critical status and beds have to be rationed.

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    ReplyDelete

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