Friday, March 18, 2011

Things to Think About Over the Weekend

  • How to locate a fabulous, indoor, airy, high ceilinged venue for the kids' wedding.... said venue to cost less than a semester's tuition.
  • How to reorganize our files, which have been duplicated and lost-then-found and are currently over-flowing.  
  • How to thank my high school classmates who have made a 70+person donation to Christina-Taylor's Fund.  Handwritten thank you's are a given; there ought to be something more that I can do.
  • How to get around my yard next week when Ernie and his guys come to spruce it up. 
  • How Reggie spent a week with us and never heard that Little Cuter and SIR were getting married.
  • Whether or not I think the Attorney General should seek the death penalty in US v Loughner.
Is it any wonder that I cannot start to think about writing a post today?   Everything else seems trivial in comparison to the last item on my list.

Everything on that list is worthy of consideration.  I can't get started on any of them, either.  

Big Cuter is off to a competition in London.  Little Cuter is awash in wedding conundrums.  I am contemplating the death penalty.  

TBG is battling a bug that keeps him sleepy.... or is that a consequence of the fact that he, too, can submit his thoughts on the subject.

I used to have an opinion about the death penalty.  It had something to do with right and wrong and certainty and power.  I can't remember what it was.

I have been concentrating on healing and choosing to ignore the justice piece of the situation.  That is no longer a viable plan.  I have two more weeks without walking; the healing is drawing to an end.  We'll be back in court on May 25th for the competency hearing; the trial could start as early as September. 

My opinion matters.  I just wish I knew what it was.


  1. AB, I'm with you there on not knowing. I used to know what I thought about it, but I just don't know anymore...

    Because this directly affected you and your family, you are being asked. My heart says one thing due to anger, sadness and the sense of loss, but I'm one of those people that this isn't black and white for me. I've always put it in the back of my mind and let justice take it's course. I would never ever be able to make this decision because it's an emotional one for me.

    Megan xxx

  2. Let me put my opinion on the table here...I think anyone who kills should get the same. And he's killed 4 or 5 people and possibly more that we don't know about...and killing a child for no reason should be a death sentence in itself...I pick the death penalth without blinking an eye....debbie

  3. This is a very hard question. What first came to mind to me after reading the post today, was I wonder what Juan would answer. You shared so much about him and his photography a while back, my impression was that he is wise way beyond his years. I wonder what he would say. Young people are so terrific at being able to just say it like it is, and tell you exactly what they think. I know the direction I lean in, but I am always aware that I wasn't there on Jan. 8th and if I had been, I would know much more than I know now.

    There is something else I have wanted to share. My eleven year old grandson just participated in Denver in a fundraiser for the St. Baldricks Foundation. He agreed to shave his head and earned over $1700.00 for cancer research for children. He has a big heart, a gift I think from the fact his two oldest brothers are autistic and have no language. He also has a twin brother and both of them are compassionate and caring about others as a result of watching many people around them react to their siblings and their different behaviors. I wanted you to know that a portion of what he raised was donated in Christina's memory. The ripples of Christina's life are still widening and being felt and will continue to be. Please share this with her parents. I'd like them to know we care.......very much.......Carol

  4. It sounds as though you need to take one item on that list and complete it....then go on to the next. Finally, by the time you get to the last on the list, you will have had time for your mind to have worked it out.

    Our opinions are not relevant to yours. You have lived through something we have not. Only you can know your heart.

  5. When I am bothered by the death penalty, it is not because I have moral or ethical or religious or principled objections to it in general. I am bothered by specific instances in which the wrong person was convicted and sentenced to death. In this situation, it is beyond question that the actual perpetrator has been accused and will be convicted. Therefore, I can support the use of the dealth penalty here.

    That, of course, is just my view. Yours is the only one that matters in the end. xoxo

  6. Okay, I've thought about US v Loughner since yesterday. This is my opinion, I think.

    Send Loughner to Arizona State Hospital's forensic unit, with no chance of release.

    Apparently Gov. Brewer's son who's been there since 1990 has been allowed to leave at times. I would not want to see that opportunity for Loughner.

    I don't see Loughner receiving a death sentence. Too many questions swirling about his mental health.

    Life in prison means no treatment for his mental illness. Perhaps if I'd been there on that Saturday morning I would want him to stew for life in the torment of his deranged mind. I was not there.

    I have too many questions about who dropped the ball on this young man. Could any intervention have prevented his heinous act? Has he ever received treatment for mental condition, etc.

    That one was a tough one.

  7. Oh Hey Zeuz Crisco, Suzi! Isn't life supposed to get easier as we age?

    I have worked for peace rather actively since 2003. I have not worked against war. I don't want to put ANY energy into a system that creates violence. But if someone was to try to hurt anyone I love and I had time to react to prevent it, I would. I would use violence if it would stop the hurt to the one I care about. Ideals are so different than individual actions. We can rarely stop violence. I can't reconcile these disparate truths.

    I have to think that "I still don't want to write his name" was mentally off. How do we measure? How do we know? I think you should not have to give an opinion on this if you don't want to. It isn't fair to you. I would say, "wait six months and then give your opinion if you have formed one." That man's fate won't have been decided by then, will it?

    Sometimes it is ok to hide your head under the pillow. I give you my permission.

  8. Per Kids Wedding--

    Checkout the Stillwell House if you are not already familiar with it.

    I love it.

  9. I think I would say, "I cannot give an opinion or express my will. I am too filled with anger, hurt and sadness to make any sort of judgment."

    It is putting too much on you, so cross it off your list. Pay attention to finding that wedding venue.

  10. Very difficult decision. We don't have the death penalty here in the UK but I have felt that we should for some crimes/criminals. My concerns would be the same as Laura's re whether the right person was convicted - that's not an issue here. There are also concerns about whether the person was mentally ill - but he appears to have planned well ahead and been aware that what he was doing was wrong. Something I read in a book years ago I've always found helpful. If someone was aware of right and wrong and committed murder then no question, that person deserves the ultimate. If they were not aware of right from wrong then they may never be cured - in which case there is always the possibility they could do it again. Or if they are cured how are they going to live with the knowledge of what they've done?

    A very tough call - I know what I would chose - but I've not been through your trauma. Good luck, thinking of you.

  11. Oh man what a list. I like the starting with one thing and processing on the back burner idea for the others as suggested earlier. My two unsolicited pieces of advice.

    1. The handwritten thank you cards are enough. Really, they are. They are more than anyone will expect. Don't worry about it any further.

    2. Tucson Museum of Art rents out their facility, both lobby (high ceilings, elegant - check) and fab outdoors (check) . Some friends got married there, and the photo ops downtown before and after were great. It was an awesome place. I think it was reasonable. I will think on this. We got married up on your side of town at a ranch. Looked at Stillwater house downtown, which is very pretty, but the focus again there is outside I think. For reasonable locales I would think outside the box of the typical wedding venue. I need to go back and check the details you've listed and think about this some more.


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