Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Feeling the Love

There is so much love in this world.

Christina's brother threw out the first pitch at a Spring Training game yesterday here in Tucson - the teams traveled from Phoenix just to support her fund.  New playground equipment and whiteboards for the classrooms will grace their elementary school thanks to the generosity of donors and there will be laughter and joy where there is now just an ache and a void.

Bunionella and I visited the linear park which was renamed in my little friend's honor.  It was dusk on a balmy breezy soft Tucson day.  Two girls, just about C-T's age, were coming out of the brand new restroom as we pulled up in The Schnozz.  We watched them don their pink helmets and clamber onto their bikes and then they were gone, zooming down the paved pathway, following 3.2 miles of Christina-love.  Rollerbladers and runners and dog walkers passed as we sat, watching the sun set, talking about relationships and old times and healing. 

Musicians have decided to boycott the boycott and many of those who refused to perform in Arizona after the passage of SB 1070 will be here on Thursday night.  Gabby's District Director is sponsoring a concert to support his Fund for Civility, Respect and Understanding and Jackson Browne and Alice Cooper and Calexico and Keb' Mo' and David Crosby and many many others will entertain and share the pain.  It's a two edged sword, coming to Tucson these days.  There's all the love and there's all the sorrow.  It's hard to know which way to look.

NBC sent another reporter and camera crew "to see how you are doing" this morning.  Three men, all about my age, all of us shaking our heads at the nasty turns that life can take.  "How do you keep your positive attitude?" they wanted to know.  I can only shake my head and wonder - I really don't know.  I do know that it would feel ungrateful if I wallowed in self-pity.  I am here and others are not; that, in itself, should be enough to make me smile.  Most of the time, it is.

They were looking for action shots, but my actions are usually confined to geting onto and off of the sofa.  Today I thought that I could hop out to the mailbox - down the path, through the gate, up the driveway and back down the street to the stone pillar which holds the mail.  I've been sending TBG out every morning with my stacks of Thank You notes; he's now threatening to have me take it out there myself.  I was a success - I got there without too much sweat and without falling.  

Wow, I got out to the mailbox.  My victories are small these days.

The look on TBG's face when I got back into the house was full of pride and love.  My victories are tremendous and powerful, too.

The Terminix technician had a teary hello as he came for his quarterly service call.  The cashier at Target hugged Reggie and then me, silently sharing her pain and her love.  Diners nodded kindly as I hopped into Wildflower on Sunday afternoon for a late lunch; they recognized me and, unobtrusively but warmly, they wished me well.  

I am surrounded by love as I contemplate the fact that tomorrow afternoon I will be in the presence of evil.  TBG and I are going to the hearing, going to participate in the judicial process which is being carried out in your names on my behalf.  You, the people of the United States of America, are standing up for me.  I will be there to watch the process unfold.

I'm bringing your love and support with me.


  1. Don't think of "the presence of evil." Evil is not present where God (Love) is and God is everywhere. My thoughts and prayers for your strength will be with you - and congratulations for the Mail trip. You will make longer and longer ones soon,

  2. Don't think of yourself as being in the presence of evil, but He Who Should Be Slapped being in the presence of light, truth and all that is good in this world. I have this picture in my mind of you surrounded by that light and being comforted by it. And CT will be there looking on and helping you--just as you did for her on that fateful day. We are all sending you virtual hugs and the power to get through tomorrow. You can do this and you will persevere.

  3. I will be with you on Wednesday in spirit, and sending love and strength. xxoxoox

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  5. Being the intellectually curious person that you are I felt it was going to be in your best interest to attend and participate in everything related to this trial. You were teaching Christina about her country's system of government on that tragic day. Now the time has come for you to learn more about your country's justice system. I think Christina would want you to represent her and continue learning. Courage to you as you begin this journey.

  6. I don't know whether to be more impressed that you made it to the mailbox, that Jackson Browne is coming (it's an old hippie thing), or that you have such a fierce, brave, indomitable will.

    Okay, Jackson Browne is very small potatoes, here. In a parallel universe, he would have ranked pretty high for me, though.

    I can hardly, hardly bear to look straight at tomorrow. HWSBS is a paltry, contemptible gollum of a thing in the face of your resolute courage and the sweet, shining spirit of Christina-Taylor.

  7. I can only imagine how hard tomorrow will be. I will be thinking of you.

  8. You are an amazing, strong and courageous
    woman... but I knew this even 30 years ago.
    My thoughts are prayers will be with all of you

  9. A/B, Like everyone else has told you, the power of God's love and Christina Taylor's spirit will surround you and The Big Guy (TBG) tomorrow afternoon when you confront the evil He Who Should Be Slapped ! I will take the power of God's love over pure evil any day because every American citizen wants justice done for this atrocious act of cowardice towards our great American Democracy. I will be with you and TBG in spirit watching the wheels of justice work against this
    parasitic miscreant. Justice will be served for Christina Taylor and the other victims who perished that fateful day.
    God Bless you, TBG, BC,LC, your family, and The Green Family (John, Roxanna, and especially Dallas, Jr.)

  10. All of your denizens will be there with you in spirit! Rock on, a/b!

  11. I'll be there in spirit, I CARE and I'm smiling at your decision......Carol


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