Thursday, February 8, 2024

My Baby Was Sick

She tested positive after FlapJilly's test turned red immediately.  They were both under quarantine and the boys were left to fend for themselves.  SIR kept his girls supplied with food and beverage, while they turned the shower into a spa experience with essential oils in the steamy air.  

My girl likes her alone time, but she thrives in the bosom of her family.  Going a full day without snuggles from Giblet is painful; anticipating and then living through day after day of that separation wass heartbreaking.  She was tired and she was bored and she was sick.  Not desperately sick, but day after day not getting better sick.

And her mommy was 2000 miles away.

This is the time when GRANDMA should spring to action.  Deliveries of chicken soup with matzoh balls......with just the right amount of spring when you bite into them.  Cooking them dinner so the boys can focus on one another and not the missing half of their family.  Cleaning and laundry and all the tasks that with two adults are manageable can be handled so attention can be given where it is most needed.

Instead, I ordered flowers and popsicles and cheese from Whole Foods to be delivered once SIR was home from school drop off.  I chatted on a kids' messenger service with Flap Jilly, amusing us both, reminding me of the hours she and I spent together during Pandemica.  

But this time there are vaccines and boosters and Paxlovid for the grown ups, which makes it less scary. It does not bring us any closer.  I felt the distance in every fibre of my being.  All I could do was shop.  

Their Amazon Wish Lists are depleted - books and comfy pj pants and leggos and yahtzee and scrabble and a comfy blanket - and I'm still too far away.  Instead of bringing them homemade baked goods I'm DoorDashing my way to parenthood.

She's a grown woman.  She's competent.  She's responsible.  She's my little girl and I wanted to be there, masked and gowned if needed, catering to her every need like I did when we sere separated not by miles but by steps.

And y'know what's the nicest part of all?  She likes it.

I am not smothering her.  I am mothering her...... even if it has to be from afar.



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