I stopped yelling at the empty house and called Seret. I never call Seret; when she didn't pick up I knew she was really really busy. Fearing that my rambling voice message was unclear, I sent her a rambling email.
Could we stay? Was one day better than another? Did she want to come to us? Fares and schedules and commitments were battling for space in my brain and that conflict was evidenced by my fingers typing nonsense.
It didn't matter. I hit send. I knew she'd understand.
Then I called Little Cuter. She heard it in my voice before I finished the first sentence, but she let me ramble on until I was spent.
Mom, do you want help? This is part of my job. I do this. Do you want me to do this for you?
Yes. Yes. Oh, yes yes yes yes yes.
By the time I got home from Pilates there was a screenshot of the answer on my cell phone. I opened Lenore and the Allegiant website and typed in all the information in the land and then it was done.
Deep breath. Un-clench fists. Withdraw shoulders from ears. Begin to try to smile.
And then I wrote thank you's -- to my friend for spilling my nonsense her way, and to my daughter for rescuing me.
I don't want to imagine my life without the women I love.
Duh, you rescue us all the time, too. xo
ReplyDeleteAnd you are grateful when I do
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