Tuesday, July 26, 2011


JannyLou called today. She told me that she was having fun for the first time since January. There was lightness in her voice and a joy behind the words that has been absent of late, given shootings and chemotherapy and such. But this morning she was filled with glee.

JenniJazz returned from Vegas to find good news on all the many medical fronts she and Mr. Jazz are facing. Her post about the adult playground and her ability to enjoy herself was inspiring and encouraging and real. She's been sharing her sad times, too, y'see. I tend to believe the happy as much as the blue. It seems only fair.

Diane Lane's Penny Chenery Tweedy has an epiphany while washing Secretariat it shows up at 2:15" into this video,which, if you don't want to invest 2 hours in the movie itself, shows all the highlights, including John Malkovich's plaid shorts at around 1:30".


She moves from chaos, worry, loss and confusion to perfect peace, with a smile on her face and confidence in her soul. She and Secretariat really do have a moment, a moment I'd snickered at in the theater. Last night, I found myself smiling. I found myself perfectly willing to believe the transformation. I wasn't bothered by the religious overtones. It didn't seem sappy or absurd or heavy handed. It felt right.

Who am I these days? Who's JannyLou or JenniJazz? Teparyis a survivor who walks with a cloud of angel dust surrounding her. The pleasure of her hug is falling into the warmest embrace imaginable. What is it that we are sharing, we women who are contemplating our mortality and smiling along the way?

Tepary calls herself an optimist and a worry-wort and I think the same applies to my girlfriends and me. We've lived long enough to have experienced our own full measure of disasters, and we're not going to let this recent incarnation of crap disease dysfunction it win. Whatever it takes to get us through - laughter, love, faith or giggling - we are alert to the opportunities.

Silliness is called for in the darkest moments, it seems. At least for us. At least right now. I'm making no pronouncements, not alerting the media, not exhorting you to tickle yourself. I'm merely reporting an observation which is true here, this summer, in the desert Southwest. We are all good people who've never done anything but help others, who love our families and our community and put our time and our efforts as well as our money where our mouths are...... and we encourage others to do the same. Yet here we are, dealing with the unthinkable, managing to get through the day without screaming (more often than not, anyway).

How? Because we are honestly peeved about the whole situation and we recognize that there is nothing we can do about it. Optimists and worry-worts, we gather facts and rely on our loved ones and we find the humor in the situation. Yes, JannyLou has a cap for every outfit and she's proud of it. Look at me galumphing across the floor, prancing and flinging my arms because it hurts to move any less broadly.

We are ridiculous. We are laughing. We are healing.


  1. I'm probably going to date myself by saying this, but do you remember that scene in Terms of Endearment when Debra Winger is at the party and she just blurts out that she has cancer and her friend Patsy and her start howling with laughter. That's how I imagine this for many people. If you don't laugh, you will cry. You can fight it head-on or give-in. I'm glad your friend can laugh through the tears. That's very healthy!

    Hope you are having a good day.

    Megan xxx

  2. Good'urn, A/B! I haven't been in that place in a while, but I know it well and would like to join you there. I think it's what's meant by that phrase "from the ridiculous to the sublime." And thank goodness for friends, too.


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