Friday, June 19, 2009

Moving Day(s)

The Little Cuter's got a new apartment. The Big Cuter does, too. And G'ma's on the list to move as well.

The Little Cuter and our Son-In-Rent (SIR from now on) have taken the plunge - can we share a bathroom without murdering each other? With help from a Playgroup Mom turned realtor they found a rentable condo which had fallen victim to the real estate bubble and were able to strike a sweet deal for a great space. The fact that the building is next door to the Cuter's elementary school is weirding me out more than the fact that they're sharing a lease. She had friends whose parents owned in that building; did she go on a playdate in the apartment she's now sharing with a man? If only the old phone lists I've carted around for decades listed apartment numbers as well as street addresses.

But he's a great guy with a kind heart and she's got a big smile on her face, so what's a small confluence of events in the grand scheme of things?

The Big Cuter's off on a new academic adventure on The Left Coast this fall. Finally facing up to the fact that homelessness, while fairly acceptable in his new home town, would not be the preferred environment for studying 24/7, he made his way to his leasing office and, in one painless conversation, switched his lease seamlessly to a building 2 blocks from his new campus. Expensive, small, convenient and DONE.

And I get to help him move in and set it up - "You can help me get what I need. You always seem to think that I need more than I knew I did, anyway. You can get it for me if you're there."

G'ma needs company and reminders but not someone staring at her all day, every day. She can do what needs to be done, if she remembers what it is. "How was lunch?" "Did I have lunch? (pause) I'm not hungry. I must've eaten." She's safe and happy and not really lonely for conversation, but she's better when her brain is working on more than "I think I'll take a nap". Finding the right combination of care - programmatic and personal - is much more complicated than I'd imagined it would be. It's not a problem which can be solved numerically (let's not outlive our money) or emotionally (can I sleep at night if she's alone?) or, it seems, with the elder care options available. So, I've been struggling and feeling stuck.

And I think about the fact that my kids are moving on their own, and my mother needs me to make her plans. Life is strange.

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