Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Chores (pt. 2)

Mopping the floor is an entirely different challenge than laundry. Laundry is not optional, as we proved in our last post (I adopt the 3rd person narrator to try to bring a level of gravitas to this otherwise less than intellectually challenging essay.) Floors have a way of getting ignored.

Think back to the first time you lived on your own (after your freshman dorm room). A studio, a room in a big house, the 2nd floor of a 3-flat or a condo you rented from a friend's mother's cousin's aunt. Moving in was wild and weird and full of angst and anticipation. You finally got the boxes unpacked (or stacked in a corner until you dragged them to your next place where you would, once again, not unpack them). Your refrigerator had the essentials (butter, milk, eggs, veggies or frozen pizzas, beer and sodas). Your bed was made, your electronics hooked up and your car parked securely nearby. You'd done your "major shopping" for soap and toilet paper and laundry detergent. Did you buy a mop? A broom? A vacuum cleaner? A swiffer? A bucket? Mr. Clean? Murphy's Oil Soap for Floors? Probably not.

Well, maybe a vacuum cleaner (or a carpet sweeper, if you're as old as I am). Vacuuming is a chore you were likely to be assigned while you were growing up. And if the apartment had a carpet, you'd have visions of chips ground into it and annoying your barefeet so you might have thought about sucking them up with a monster machine.

But hardwood or linoleum or tile or slate..... that requires a broom and a receptacle and then something wet. If you tried to use a plate or a paper towel to collect the broom's treasures you'd probably never try to clean your floors again. If you had remembered to buy a dustpan you might think that your work there was done. After all, the major hunks were gone. What's a little stickiness among friends, anyhow?

Am I right? The thought of imitating Cinderella on your knees just never crossed your mind, did it?

And how old were you when you mopped your first floor without being asked to do so?

That's when you can say you were a grown-up.


  1. Sweet! Still not a grown-up!

    Also, since when is butter, milk, eggs, or veggies an essential? All of humanity can live on pizza, beer and soda - as my fridge can attest.


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