Her kids don't get on the computer without a good reason and an adult present. She works and volunteers and dances and chairs benefits and serves on boards and does pro-bono work and, like most moms who do even half of what she does, she feels guilty all the time.
I try to reassure her that it's a natural state of affairs, reprising MTF's advice to me upon learning of my pregnancy:
No matter what you do, you'll feel guilty. So, you might as well do what you want to do.Or, as Dr. Spock put it,
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.Beautiful Annie sent me the story below to make me smile; I'm not sure she realized how well it fits into my head right now. I've been looking for a reason to smile while life throws curves at my friends, and I'm not doing a very good job of it. I try to find an angle from which to approach it... and I fail. I like the way Thing 1 turns a new diagnosis into a positive ... and then goes on to turn his mother's words right back at her.
He's the son of two lawyers. I'm reminded of Clueless and Dan Hedaya's praise for his daughter's ability to argue her way to a better grade, rather than focusing on the C the teacher initially proffered. Thing 1 can argue his way out of a paper bag.... or inappropriate internet gazing... and leave you with a grin on your face.
Read, smile, and have a great day!
Thing 2 came to me and confessed that he and Thing 1 had looked something up on the internet that they shouldn't have. He then proceeded to tell me, through gulping sobs, that he didn't know it was wrong because he's young and that he will never do it again .... etcetera.... etcetera..... etcetera.
It took forever and a lot of reassurance to get him to tell me what they looked up. Finally, it came out: "Naked Girls."
So then I went to Thing 1, the big brother, who started giggling and said, "Yes, we 'tried' to look up naked girls."
"What do you mean, you 'tried'?"
"Well, Mom, you know how you just discovered that Thing 2 has a learning disorder? Well, I have known for a long time. I let him type the query in the computer and he typed it "nekd gurlz" So we didn't really see anything. Then Dad came in the room and we shut it off."
Then he said, "See Mom, look at the bright side. Thing 2's learning disorder is a good thing!"
Thing 1 then asked, “Are you upset? Because you shouldn’t be upset. You ALWAYS tell us that women’s bodies are beautiful and that we should respect them. So we were just being admiring, like you said!"
Hoist by her own petard, poor thing.