Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Ray Rice

"I always thought of him as a good guy."

TBG, my go-to-guy for all things sports, said that in February, when the video of Ray Rice dragging an unconscious woman out of an elevator hit the airwaves. The woman was his fiancée, they were both drunk... it was another example of "Nothing good follows 'Late last night...'"

As background, for you denizens who rely on The Burrow as your sole source of sports information, in May, Rice was suspended for two games by the NFL.  After much hue and cry, much of it comparing Josh Gordon's season long ban for marijuana use to Ray Rice's slap on the wrist, Commissioner Goodell admitted that he didn't get it right on domestic violence.  A new policy was implemented. 

Ray Rice was a good guy, so he apologized.  They held a press conference. There he was, all 5'8" of him, a running back for the Baltimore Ravens, apologizing to the team owner, the coach, the fans, the kids... but never once apologizing to his wife.
 Look at her face 30 seconds in; that's about as far as I'm able to get without cringing.  I won't even start on my rant about the fact that he didn't hold her chair for her as she sat down.  Obviously, that kind of behavior is well outside his comfort zone.

The fact that she apologizes for her part in the drama makes me want to take a shower, then offer her a ride to the nearest women's shelter.  It's classic behavior, on both their parts.

This morning, TMZ released the video of what happened inside the elevator.  I could link to it but I won't.  It's porn. In slow motion it looks as if the young woman is holding her arms up to protect her face before a fist flies across the screen and she collapses in the corner.  Ray Rice throws the punch, then stands quietly, waiting for the elevator door to open.  He makes no move to tend to her ... inside the elevator or out.

ESPN's talking heads are all in a dither.  So this is what domestic violence looks like... I'd heard about it but seeing it makes it all too real...Zero Tolerance .... you don't hit a woman ... the NFL trains these young men in anger management...

I'm glad they are finally awakened to the issue.  I'm hearing the sounds of women all over the globe laughing through their tears into their coffee this morning.  If we'd only known that you needed a video of someone famous......


  1. I will not watch that video. My hubby told me about it and it said the Commissioner hid this and didn't address it back in February. He said they should have been more aggressive in getting the video. The fact that TMZ was able to get it, means the NFL could have to. I'm actually angry about it. There should be a zero tolerance for this sort of thing. I have no patience or any sympathy for someone who hits women or kids. And usually people that do this, also abuse animals.

    Makes me absolutely ill!

    Feel like I'm going to be sick.

    Sending hugs.

    Megan xxx

  2. And even more heartbreaking are his wife's comments last night and this morning blaming the media and chastising the public for its reaction, etc. etc. Ugh. :(

  3. I didn't watch the video but heard what happened, that they were both drunk, spitting at each other, that she punched him and he then hit her such that she fell back, hit her head and was unconscious. I have seen the comments elsewhere that believe he should be thrown out of football forever because we all know football players are so honorable and never do anything violent away from the game.

    My take was he should face legal penalties if that is appropriate. Fine if the team wants to throw him off, but the lifetime ban for any team went too far. It was not in place before this event happened. She did provoke part of it and frankly my daddy taught me as a girl- don't hit a man because they might hit you back. Leave him. Press charges. Don't hit him. I have loved the movie The Holiday except for one thing when she punches her ex-boyfriend. Women should not hit men. It leads to them losing control and when alcohol is involved, it's even worse.

    From what I can tell, he was kind of at the end of his career anyway at 30 for being a running back. It made it easy for the NFL to be noble and ban him for a lifetime. Make points and lose nothing. I get it that abuse happens and it's not always the woman's fault but this was not abuse as such. It was a violent fight between a man and woman. I observed one of these as a little girl when it involved my mother and father. It was the only time they had such a thing happen and over a silly issue but enough to have my brother and I run outside into the dark even though it was on the edge of the wilderness. Seemed safer out there. They were not either one violent people and they weren't drinking but sometimes things go bad.

    I think the NFL is hypocritical considering how much they overlook the rapes and other abuses of their stars. They just want to make points. While I agree some women can be apologetic about why the guy hit them, the truth in this case is they were both drinking, spitting on each other, swearing at each other and frankly she wasn't innocent. They likely will end up divorced and maybe she only married him because of the possible criminal penalty. Some women do become apologetic but this time, I think I am holding the sports franchise more accountable for the hypocrisy of their stand on it. It has become a very emotional issue and that means nobody pays attention to the logic of what really happened. I've heard others say he must have hit her other times. Maybe so. I don't know. But neither do they.

  4. You need to do more research on Domestic Violence, Rain. We have come a long way in our understanding of it since your Daddy gave you that advice.

  5. Anonymous, you think a woman has the right to hit man? or that it's smart? most people today understand women can be abusive. I have thought and still do that if a man hit me I'd be out the door but hit him back or even first-- not happening. The more comments I read om this, the more I see him as representing a cause, not an incident. I do not know that couple's relationship but the commenters don't either. They know someone they knew and he has become that person. He is not 100 lbs heavier than her as some commenters (other places) have said but close to the same height. Was it okay for her to hit him? is the woman always right? To some, she is...

  6. "Two wrongs don't make a right" comes to mind....

    What the criminal justice system sees every day in domestic abuse cases is SO much worse than the Rice's that I can understand the diversion program. Like Adrian Petersen and the switch (see tomorrow, 9/15, post) upbringing and culture have to be considered in the equation. I'm not sure I could wake up in bed next to someone who'd knocked me unconscious, but the NFL and the courts certainly thought it wasn't that big a deal.

    As always, the cover up is worse than the initial event..... but not really, in this case. Everyone ought to have been appalled and no one should have wanted to play with him and the fact that it took an outrageous video to shock people out of their armchairs and into outrage...

    There is so much to think about.


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