First things first : What is it with the hair?
Are those enough hints? Did you already know that I'm writing about The Donald, father of a Georgetown classmate or two of Big Cuter, possible candidate for the presidency of these United States of America.
Is this really happening?
The man has been married three times and is looking to be embraced by the family values crowd.
He's lost more money in more real estate deals than we'll all make in our collective lifetimes and he wants us to put him in charge of the federal budget.
I thought it was strange here in Arizona, but maybe the rest of you ought to sit up and take a look at what's happening out there. Or maybe you have already noticed, and I've been too self-absorbed to realize it. But self-absorption brings us right back to Donald Trump, doesn't it.
Watching the talking heads this afternoon - and yes, it is nice to be doing something normal for a change - I was struck by the tone of the comments. Chris Matthews was a guest at one of the weddings. He's bemused by his friend's antics. There is none of his usual ranting and raving. A reporter from Time laughed at himself - the interview was shameless self-promotion but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Trump is a clown, a man who made a mockery of himself on television and doesn't know it. I can't imagine a genuine business person taking him seriously. He's putting second-tier formerly famous people through their paces and he wants me to elect him to the presidency?
I'm more than bemused. I'm outraged.
Is this what it has come to? A centrist Democrat holds an open air forum and takes a bullet to her brain. A woman from middle America tests the presidential waters while momentarily mis-placing Lexington and Concord. Our president plays rope-a-dope with the budget while the elderly and their children wonder if Tea Party zealots have aging parents, too. And The Donald wants to be President.
What has been going on since I've left you people in charge?