Friday, August 19, 2016

Unfortunately.....

I have to break my promise.  I can't do what I said I was going to do.  My goals must be reset.  I'm having a hard time with it all.

7 weeks ago, playing basketball with Mr. 11, I was coerced onto the basketball court.  It's hard to stay on the sidelines when the world's most adorable middle schooler is importuning from the free throw line.  Please..... Please.... Oh, PLEASE..... I couldn't resist him.

Passing was fine, but then he wanted me to teach him to take a charge.  This involved swinging my butt into his belly.... and swinging my lower half is not something I've done a lot of in the past 5 years.  Needless to say, I swung, he took the charge and slid across the court, and my knee, swollen and achy, reminded me every day following that my bball days are long gone.

I've rested.  I've iced. I've compressed. I've elevated.   I took a week off from everything.  I've been very very very careful in the gym and at Pilates and in life.  I'm better, but it still tingles.  It swells up (in various places) after I use it... and I use it all the time.  

I spoke to the nurse (after PT's and other pros have examined and flexed and manipulated me) and she says that I am healing as I should, that I should continue doing what I'm doing, and that eventually, over time, if I'm smart,  I should be fine. 

 Her final words?  Just don't do anything extreme.

We agreed that climbing (or preparing to climb) the Sears Tower is extreme.  She told me I was crazy to do it.

Since I have no interest in giving back any of the gains I've made on my perforated (right) side, since favoring my newly damaged left knee has put torque on places that were previously un-torqued before (creating new and interesting gait patterns), since my knee talks to me in unpleasant tones every time I take a step, and since the nurse told me that I was crazy (which we all knew, anyway)..... I can't do the climb.......

..... this year.

I am beyond bummed.  I am embarrassed.  I don't want anyone to think I am wimping out... but I am. In the past, I've taken advice from professionals with a grain of salt; I try to find congruence between what I am told and what I feel and what My Body tells me.  My Body... capitalized because that's the important lesson here.  My Body has a mind of its own.  I may need a new defining moment, but my need doesn't necessarily translate into My Body's compliance.  It's on its own trajectory.  I may be able to push and prod around the margins, but it will heal when it heals, the nerves will connect when they connect, the swelling will go down.... eventually.... if I take good care of my self and don't do anything extreme.

My Body and I are going to have some long conversations over the next few months.  I'll do my part, with the ice and all the rest, I'll continue to strengthen the areas around the injuries so that the damaged pieces aren't over-taxed, but I'm going to expect a similar effort from My Body.

I'm going to take an epsom salt bath and begin the conversation.  

2017's SkyRise is only 14 months away.


2 comments:

  1. dear woman, you are my age, therefore your body is the same age as mine. Mine has not been perforated with bullets, however. I have not had to make a long, arduous recovery from near death. I would NEVER consider climbing the Sears Tower. Heck, I hardly ever climb any stairs beyond four flights. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK and quit fretting about this.

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  2. Truly! When the knee resembles a grapefruit, it's time to re-evaluate your goals. It's just such a pain in the butt that we can't just up and do the things we once could.

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