My Brain Health

I'm part of a longitudinal study, an on-line assessment tool designed to measure changes in brain function over time.  The questions are user friendly, take no more than a few minutes at a time, and more often than not make me stop and think.

Today's questions were about my emotional well-being.  How often am I happy, lonely, worried, scared, alone?  How often is there someone I can go to for emotional support, a hug, advice, information ?  How satisfied am I with who I am, what I am doing?  Are there things I want to accomplish but can't or won't do?  What social groups am I now or do I want to be a member?

By their lights I seem to be in pretty good shape.

But I spent a little while being morose today.  Initially, I chalked it up to worry about yet another land war in Asia.  I worked pretty hard at putting that into a box that I shove d into a far corner of my brain; it made no difference at all.

I saw Scarlet's sister at Pilates this morning, which was lovely and sorrowful at the same time.  I drove past Lady Jane's house on the way home and thought about how much I missed them both.  

It's not only death that has left me bereft.  All three of my most reliable pals are out of town, between now and forever.  Mahjong has been cancelled until further notice.    

My days are largely unscheduled, which is wonderful, but it's too hot to fill them with anything outdoors from 8am until well after sunset (it is 96 degrees as I type at 8:20pm).  TBG and I have been making lengthy dates out of restaurant visits, I have lots of good books to read, there are closets requiring attention, and TMC airs some surprisingly delightful movies in the early afternoon. 

It's really not that bad, yet I was morose.  Combined with my sunny responses to the Health Health questions, I began to feel somewhat lugubrious.  I shared the situation with TBG, because lugubrious is one of our favorite words.  

Of course you're sad.  You miss your kiddos at school.

Of course, he was right.  

How many times have I said it's impossible to be sad when five year olds are hugging you? My shoulders dropped down, away from my ears, as I turned my frown upside down.  A solution to a previously nebulous problem was sitting next to me, watching a re-run of Perry Mason, providing all the support I described on the survey.

I'm going to drop in on summer school tomorrow.