Wednesday, May 27, 2015

A Snippet, a Link, a Harangue

I haven't given anyone an assignment lately.  That's my only excuse for encouraging you, dear denizens, to follow the link to Ronni Bennett's post on Elder Orphans and then to get your affairs in order.

Elder Orphans are those of a certain age without family or friends to care for them should the need arise.  They are the people whose circles have shrunken, leaving only themselves behind. For them, not having a person is serious business.

Those of us who have people, are usually guilty of leaving them uninformed and frustrated when needs arise.  Daddooooo's ongoing care needs sent me into their Health File for the long term care insurance information; it took months of conversations and reading and examining and thinking and considering and studying before I had a handle on it... and then he was in hospice and then he died.

G'ma, seeing the tumult, promised that she would have everything organized, and, true to her word, she did.  When she moved here, I prepared a large purse with all her documentation, a notebook and several pens, a phone charger, Kashi bars, a stack of crossword puzzles and a small book.  When the phone rang at 5am, I just had to put on my shoes and shorts, grab the bag, and head for the hospital.

I knew what she wanted for her end of life care.  I knew who had which proxies, and all three of her children knew who was responsible for what.  It was hard to watch her fail, but that difficulty was not exacerbated by the need to locate documents or figure out her wishes.

So, if you don't have an updated will, do it.  If you don't have your financials easily findable, make it be so. If your family is uncertain about any details, now is the time to talk them out.

No matter how frustrated I became, watching G'ma's decline, I never failed to thank her for being prepared.  It was a true gesture of love.

Ronni's post will give you impetus and direction.  Click over there now.

8 comments:

  1. My mother had it all set, too. When everything was said, done, and finalized after my mother's death, we three siblings went to the bank to close out the last bank account. The banker who assisted us made this comment, "You are an amazing family. Everyone should have their affairs in order like this." So true.

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  2. My FIL was very thorough with everything. He left everything organized before he died and I know my MIL was extremely grateful. There's nothing worse than having your parent or older relative die and nothing is organized or in place. And I do understand people die all of a sudden. But it's always better to be prepared and not compound the stress of losing someone and having to deal with their estate.

    My MIL is doing the same thing. Although, she gives us all of this info on index cards. I wish it was more in a digital file. She's old school; so I'm not certain if she even knows how to relay her wishes via a Word document. I'm hoping hubby's brother has been doing that. He's been working with her on her finances since my FIL died in 2006.

    I'll go check out the other post too.

    Hugs,


    Megan xxx

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    Replies
    1. Handwritten is good.... often better, even. After all, only ONE person has the medical POA and only one has the medical POA (can be the same person, but joint decisions lead to hard times....) Hope you enjoyed Ronni's post.
      a/b

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  3. Thanks for this.

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  4. The medical legal forms are available to download on the AZ attorney general's web site. Getting all of this in order is my June and July project, and besides uploading our forms to the AZ AG site, I will scan everything and put on flash drives for both sons. I agree with MS - my boys don't want to be bothered with all the paper, it will be much easier for them electronically.

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    Replies
    1. Between G'ma and me, paper worked very well. My kids will have to deal with what's in TBG's files, though, and he's a paper kind of guy. They do know who to call for the financials, who we trust to advise them well, and I, at least, have been very clear about what I'm looking for in end of life care.

      Of course, Big Cuter insists that medical advances will keep me alive for another 40 or 50 or 60 years, so, according to him, this is all quite premature!
      a/b

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