A lot of women are very very angry with Ahhhnold right now. I am one of them. I can't seem to get off the topic. I cannot leave it alone.
Big Cuter calls and tells me that he is disappointed but not surprised at the news. He'd always thought of Ahhhnold that way. "Were you really surprised, Mom? Didn't you know?"
Well, no, honey, in fact I didn't. In fact, I bet that Maria didn't know either. She may have suspected and endured wondering eyes from her friends who loved her enough to worry but knew enough to keep still. She wanted to love him, she loved her family, her religion must have figured in there, too..... it doesn't have to make sense to her because she wants to believe him. So she does.
I watched a friend's marriage implode as she and I marveled at the fact that we seemed to be the only two people on the planet who thought that he had been faithful to her. In retrospect, it was absurd. And yet there it was, the embarrassing truth that we'd been duped.
Unbelievably naive? Perhaps not so unbelievable at all.
So there's the humiliation of it all and that's just not right. Maria Shriver had a real career and a nice family and she up-ended it all for Ahhhnold's political dalliance. As I'm typing this
I'm flashing to The Good Wife and hoping that *spoiler alert* Maria has someone to take her to the Presidential Suite tonight.
I have tried three times to type a sentence that cleverly presents my disgust. Two women. Two pregnancies. One house. One man. I went down a Thomas Jefferson route. I twisted those pieces around and around and I have come up empty. I just can't imagine how creepy it must have been.
Is he really that good an actor? Hard to believe. But still..... he did give us a machine with a sense of humor and a tender heart, after all.
Oh, dear. There I go again...... finding something to like about him.
Please. Make it stop.
One of the issues I have with this affair, and all affairs, is the value we place on monogamy over everything else.
ReplyDeleteI'm not in a monogamous relationship. But the difference is that everyone knows it - especially my partners. I'm out of the closet and honest about it... something that clearly doesn't work in politics.
Politically it's better to say you're monogamous and lie and cheat then it is to say you're open and honest but not monogamous at all.
No one likes to be duped, to be lied to. Certainly Maria feels that way but a lot of people who respected and admired him are now trying to cope with the unpleasant truth that they believed just what he wanted them too. They being his most loyal fans and constituents...
ReplyDeleteI think you clearly illustrate your disgust and rationally with emotion describe what it feels like to have made the wrong call on Arnold. I've lost respect for him.
I think i feel as bad as I do about this because I did see him as special, as different. As you mentioned yesterday, he was a Republican who had some pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-environment leanings and wasn't afraid to express them. Those views gave me and others the hope that people don't HAVE to take one side or the other. It was OK to be human and have a blend of those points of view.
Now his behavior has left a lot of us wondering whether those views, were just an elaborate lie as well...
Great post!
crayonbeam, see this is what I like. Honesty. No one is getting hurt if you are honest. It's the lying and cheating and then the covering-up that's wrong. And then there are the people saying one thing publicly and doing something entirely different behind closed doors really irk me.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm not the norm 'cause I have no problem with anyone not being monogamous as long as they are honest with everyone involved. Don't get me wrong, I am in a monogamous relationship and happily married, but if I was single and didn't have children, it might be a different story. ;)
I am not a fan of monogamy and understand why it often doesn't work because it's more about religion, power, and expectations than it is about human nature. What I don't like though is dishonesty and that's the problem with not being monogamous in most relationships-- it requires lying.
ReplyDeleteMaria might have figured he was dallying other places, but when he was doing it right in their home, where their children lived, with someone she knew, covering up a child (who if she saw I can't believe she wasn't suspicious), that might have been the last straw. She came from a family of cheating men, although I have never heard her father was one of them. She might have tolerated though some of that if it wasn't disrespecting her. What he did was disrespecting her.
The thing is it's never about the women. That woman isn't nearly the beauty Maria is; but she probably acted like she adored him and he needed adoration which no long term spouse can provide. It was exciting probably to cheat and that added to the ego rush.
I would not vote for or not vote for a politician based on his sexual purity. You really never know. But it sounds to me like Arnold wasn't a good governor either. Now that's what is unforgivable in a leader. In a spouse, well that's up to the partner to decide what is okay. What is not okay to me is the lying part of it all.
Rain, I'm glad you said what I said to my husband last night. I know it's quite catty of me, but what did he see in that woman? Maria is WAY more attractive.
ReplyDeleteI said to my husband last night, "If you are going to cheat, at least cheat with someone that is attractive". Then realized he might take that the wrong way and then I followed-up with, "I meant YOU in general not YOU as in my husband". LOL.
You could all have been sitting on Douglas last night, having these same thoughts with TBG and me.
ReplyDeleteIt's the duplicity that gets me. I think he was a decent governor, Rain, given the circumstances Grey Davis had created. But, like thormoo, I'm beginning to wonder about the veracity of everything else I heard him say. Just thinking about the fact that he might have been pandering to my politics makes my skin crawl.
Bottom line - I don't like being played. Crayonbeam has it right - straight talking, no duplicity, take it or leave it.
a/b
"..gave us a machine with a sense of humor and a tender heart, after all" I will always love the Terminator movies! But it is more because of Sarah Connor who reminds me of Obama's mom, Dr. Stanley Ann Dunham Soetoro, on steroids. I enjoyed his movies, but then I am attracted at some subliminal level to barbarians. Most westerners (anthropologist speaking here) are culturally programmed to be serially monogamous and most humans are not monogamous and have more than one sexual partner in their lifetimes. So many men believe they are somehow given permission to have flings, affairs, and mistresses... especially some of the upper class Europeans. It is sad when there is deceit in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteAnd now for something completely different...
I just saw that you are speaking at Blogher 11. If you need a ride, let me know, I live in Tucson: nfhill at mac dot com. I'm going and driving. May register for a session on the day before conf. actually starts.
AB, we may need to create a virtual Douglas and you can tell us to all come have a sit on the couch. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rain. The worst part is that he kept that woman in the home he shared with Maria and their children. To me, that is lower than low. And the woman, agreeing to continue staying there, is lower than Arnold.
ReplyDeleteI'm not at all surprised. Those Hollywood types are just about all the same. He is a male slut...debbie.
ReplyDeleteIt's just so ugly. So unattractive. I want to take a shower every time I think about it. You're right, kenju, there's something quite awful about her staying there... she could have asked him to help her get another job. It's not like she'd be out on the street.
ReplyDeleteWho am I to judge? Someone who voted for him and defended him, that's who.
I agree with rain and kenju...and what about that woman? I am not sure whether one is worse than the other...he who betrayed his wife and family in the worst way, broke his promise, or she who had clearly has no honor to pledge.
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