Thursday, March 3, 2011

Young Love

He heard her voice in the hallway outside his dorm room their freshman year.  "GIRLS!" he thought, and he went out to investigate.  There were, in fact, girls visiting friends, and she was among them.  He tells me he was smitten.

She talked about him all year.  Her best friend, her confidante, her transportation and co-volunteer... never her boyfriend.  That designation was reserved for a handsome but to my eyes totally inappropriate young man from Marin.  "And anyway, Mom, he has a girlfriend." 

That may well have been true, but I saw how he looked at her. Standing in her single room on Move Out Day at the end of freshman year, holding 4 suitcases as if they were feather pillows, smiling calmly as she raced around picking up loose ends and trying not to leave.  Didn't he want to put the bags down?  Not at all, he was fine.  And he was, basking in her glow, allowing her to be herself and bathing her in smiles.  As long as she was happy, so was he.

We weren't far off the grassy parking field before she reached him on her cell phone.  Teary, sorrowful, wishing she weren't leaving Indiana and her friends, she listened and sniffled and promised to call from the airport.  It sure seemed like love to me, but I was only the mother... what did I know?

She spent that summer on the phone with him while the Inappropriate One looked on.  "Doesn't he mind?"  "No, why would he?  SIR's my friend and he knows that."  Again, it seemed odd to me, but I was only the mother.... what did I know?  TBG and I were just glad that there was a counter-balancing force in her life; we were not happy with her choice of the IO.  

Taking her back to campus in the fall, we ran into him at Target.  Should they hug? Kiss?  Run screaming toward one another?  I can't speak to what they felt, but there was tension between them..... though the look in his eyes gave his thoughts away.  He'd missed her, but her mother was right beside her.  Was a hug appropriate behavior?  She seemed similarly stymied and the moment passed.  Having learned my parenting lessons, I somehow managed to keep my mouth shut, not commenting on the interaction beyond "how nice to see him again."   Sometimes I actually do live up to my own expectations.

His sister's wedding seemed to seal the deal; the bride takes total and complete credit for cementing the relationship.  Having met many times over the years, as the kids drove from southern to northern Indiana to visit his family, she knew for sure that they were meant to be together.  It just took a little bit of sisterly intervention to make it happen.  Dressed to the nines, in platform heels and a sexy-yet-wedding-appropriate dress, Little Cuter charmed the relatives.  "Are you his girlfriend?" "No, I'm Little Cuter"  "Oh, YOU are Little Cuter!! We've heard so much about you."  The actual girlfriend was there and was peeved and shortly thereafter both she and the IO were history.  Ancient and forgotten history.  

The kids slid into each other's open slots.  They were an item.

My baby graduated and moved to the big city and they didn't like being apart so he followed her up there and found work to suit him as he finished his degree.  Separate apartments at first - "One step at a time, Mom" and then a playgroup mom, the Real Estate Maven, helped them negotiate a deal on a 2-bedroom rental in the high rise next to the elementary school she attended when she was very small.  New linens and a sofa and a big screen tv, a dining table with a vase in the center, a guest bed (ok, a guest futon) and an organized storage closet -- they were officially a couple.  He became our Son In Rent, and all the parents were pleased.

They rescued a puppy and joined his family at Iowa tailgates and their love just grew and grew.  My friends would see them together and they all had the same reaction - they are so good for each other.  There's nothing a mom would rather hear.

I was perforated when he asked for her hand in marriage - approaching TBG over the recycling in the garage at 2am, whispering in my ear in the ICU.  He wanted to ask us in person, and he wasn't sure when he would see us again.  Having something to live for really does help one heal; I had to get better so that I could be at their wedding.  There were many wonderful cards and letters and phone calls during that awful time; SIR's announcement trumped them all.

Everyone knew about the upcoming proposal.  Everyone but the bride-to-be.  This was the best kept secret in the Western Hemisphere; our poor baby had no one to tell who would be surprised.  She doesn't seem to mind, though.  In fact, she doesn't seem to mind very much of anything right now.  She's had 15 hours to contemplate her future and all she can do is send exclamation points over the interweb.  

Happy Happy Joy Joy .... the kids are getting married!

20 comments:

  1. OMG! That's so awesome and what a reason to heal! I have the biggest smile on my face right now. Best wishes to everyone!

    Megan xxx

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  2. Congratulations to you and to the ecstatic couple. Now get better, so you can be the best mother of the bride you were meant to be!!

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  3. Good friends make the best spouses.

    Congratulations!

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  4. That's a pretty wonderful thing for you to look forward to as you heal. :)

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  5. What a fabulous reason to decide, yet again, that this life, this world, is worth surviving for. As a mommy, I know how good it feels to believe that your little one is sharing her moments with the kind of mate you'd have imagined for her.

    A sigh of satisfaction and confirmation. A quiet and grateful joy.

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  6. Wonderful news, congratulations to the the couple AND to the parents! It's not such a bad idea trying them out, renting as you say...it's the way you get just what you want! Smiling at all the happiness this union will bring...

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  7. When I read it on her Facebook this morning I was all smiles -- and I pondered how lucky she is to have you and TBG as such wonderful role models of a happy, healthy, loving, wonderful marriage. We've said before, how smart we were to choose well --- I think we can add the little cuter to our happy little club...

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  8. What a great story, and what an exciting conclusion! Congratulations to the happy couple.

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  9. Story book material... and a most beautiful blog posting... goose bumps and all... yes smiling for all the happiness that is ahead for all of you! love and best wishes .. now it is time to watch "SAY YES TO THE DRESS" ... I do and I already married off two out of three brides! SO HAPPY FOR YOU! :)

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  10. That's neat.

    I feel lucky with who my two kids married as both of them chose so well with partners who value family, had similar values and it's only gotten better in the years since. My daughter was engaged to a young man before 'the one' came along. And I remember telling her on one of our walks to discuss life-- if she changed her mind walking down the aisle, it'd be okay with me. I never felt that way at all once she was to marry the man who is now father of her children. I know it doesn't have to be that way; so feel very lucky many times over.

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  11. Best wishes to Little Cuter and congratulations to you and TBG on adding SIR officially to the family! xoxo

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  12. Spectacular news.

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  13. Congratulations to the whole family. It sounds like Little Cuter did a really good job of listening to her heart. i saw a license plate just yesterday that read IMLISNG. It is such an important skill. I'm smiling for all of you.

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  14. Loved these back-to-back posts. One thing they make plain is how you reliably convert simple catalogs of fact into whole story lines. Whatever your first book is like, it's good to know that a novelist will be at the helm. :)

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  15. P.S. Oh, and -- duh! -- congratulations to the entire (extended) clan!

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  16. Congrats, congrats, congrats!!!!!!

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  17. Aww - so sweet! What a wonderful story and how proud you all must be. Congratulations all around!

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  18. Wonderful post! Made me teary eyed! Congratulations to the wonderful couple and to you and TGB! Nothing like a wonderful little push to get you better! Super~Duper!!...debbie

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  19. I'm watching 2 mourning doves coo and peck at one another atop my garden wall... and I think of the kids.

    I'm falling asleep with a smile on my face... thinking of the kids.

    I read these comments and feel the love... thinking of the kids.

    This is much more fun than contemplating the superceding indictment which lists me as counts 39 and 39...... THANK YOU ONE AND ALL for sharing the love and the joy.
    a/b

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  20. I think it is really wonderful news and a great tonic for you. Congratulations to the young couple and to all the family.

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