Young Love

He heard her voice in the hallway outside his dorm room their freshman year.  "GIRLS!" he thought, and he went out to investigate.  There were, in fact, girls visiting friends, and she was among them.  He tells me he was smitten.

She talked about him all year.  Her best friend, her confidante, her transportation and co-volunteer... never her boyfriend.  That designation was reserved for a handsome but to my eyes totally inappropriate young man from Marin.  "And anyway, Mom, he has a girlfriend." 

That may well have been true, but I saw how he looked at her. Standing in her single room on Move Out Day at the end of freshman year, holding 4 suitcases as if they were feather pillows, smiling calmly as she raced around picking up loose ends and trying not to leave.  Didn't he want to put the bags down?  Not at all, he was fine.  And he was, basking in her glow, allowing her to be herself and bathing her in smiles.  As long as she was happy, so was he.

We weren't far off the grassy parking field before she reached him on her cell phone.  Teary, sorrowful, wishing she weren't leaving Indiana and her friends, she listened and sniffled and promised to call from the airport.  It sure seemed like love to me, but I was only the mother... what did I know?

She spent that summer on the phone with him while the Inappropriate One looked on.  "Doesn't he mind?"  "No, why would he?  SIR's my friend and he knows that."  Again, it seemed odd to me, but I was only the mother.... what did I know?  TBG and I were just glad that there was a counter-balancing force in her life; we were not happy with her choice of the IO.  

Taking her back to campus in the fall, we ran into him at Target.  Should they hug? Kiss?  Run screaming toward one another?  I can't speak to what they felt, but there was tension between them..... though the look in his eyes gave his thoughts away.  He'd missed her, but her mother was right beside her.  Was a hug appropriate behavior?  She seemed similarly stymied and the moment passed.  Having learned my parenting lessons, I somehow managed to keep my mouth shut, not commenting on the interaction beyond "how nice to see him again."   Sometimes I actually do live up to my own expectations.

His sister's wedding seemed to seal the deal; the bride takes total and complete credit for cementing the relationship.  Having met many times over the years, as the kids drove from southern to northern Indiana to visit his family, she knew for sure that they were meant to be together.  It just took a little bit of sisterly intervention to make it happen.  Dressed to the nines, in platform heels and a sexy-yet-wedding-appropriate dress, Little Cuter charmed the relatives.  "Are you his girlfriend?" "No, I'm Little Cuter"  "Oh, YOU are Little Cuter!! We've heard so much about you."  The actual girlfriend was there and was peeved and shortly thereafter both she and the IO were history.  Ancient and forgotten history.  

The kids slid into each other's open slots.  They were an item.

My baby graduated and moved to the big city and they didn't like being apart so he followed her up there and found work to suit him as he finished his degree.  Separate apartments at first - "One step at a time, Mom" and then a playgroup mom, the Real Estate Maven, helped them negotiate a deal on a 2-bedroom rental in the high rise next to the elementary school she attended when she was very small.  New linens and a sofa and a big screen tv, a dining table with a vase in the center, a guest bed (ok, a guest futon) and an organized storage closet -- they were officially a couple.  He became our Son In Rent, and all the parents were pleased.

They rescued a puppy and joined his family at Iowa tailgates and their love just grew and grew.  My friends would see them together and they all had the same reaction - they are so good for each other.  There's nothing a mom would rather hear.

I was perforated when he asked for her hand in marriage - approaching TBG over the recycling in the garage at 2am, whispering in my ear in the ICU.  He wanted to ask us in person, and he wasn't sure when he would see us again.  Having something to live for really does help one heal; I had to get better so that I could be at their wedding.  There were many wonderful cards and letters and phone calls during that awful time; SIR's announcement trumped them all.

Everyone knew about the upcoming proposal.  Everyone but the bride-to-be.  This was the best kept secret in the Western Hemisphere; our poor baby had no one to tell who would be surprised.  She doesn't seem to mind, though.  In fact, she doesn't seem to mind very much of anything right now.  She's had 15 hours to contemplate her future and all she can do is send exclamation points over the interweb.  

Happy Happy Joy Joy .... the kids are getting married!