I Sat on this Lizard Today

..... which is not a sentence one gets to type every day.

But, there I was, crouching over the gorges I'd dug in the courtyard in an over-enthusiastic attempt to create rainfall collecting berms. Instead of my neighbor's lovely undulations, I had created slot canyons. Gravel (which we use for ground cover and mulch and which can be seen in all its glory underneath my sat-upon friend above) does not adhere to sheer walls. Ugliness existed and I was down there attempting to create beauty.

Timing the pruning of the lantana is a mystery to me. No two authors agree. Out in the courtyard, with lantana to the left of me, lantana to the right, there I was, stuck in the middle with my pruner. (Is anyone else humming a little Steve Miller Band right there?) A controlled experiment presented itself to me. The same plants exist in basically the same environment : close to the reflected heat of the house, sheltered by the courtyard wall, equal access to irrigation and run-off water (should it ever rain again) and sunshine and shade and wind. I decided to prune the northern section and ignore the south forty and see if it makes a difference.

Pruning is the most fun part of gardening..... at least here in the desert where the soil is so unresponsive. My newly-sharpened pruners (is there a better feeling than refreshed tools??) made short shrift of the long tendrils as I squatted on the path. I gathered them up and dumped them in my cart.

Then I sat down to bring the cut a little closer to the center of the plant...... readjusted my position to continue around the circumference...... and voila my flattened friend was revealed!

I didn't scream. I didn't even yelp. I didn't jump up and run. I didn't blaspheme or gesticulate wildly. I apologized.

Yes, the words that came out of my mouth were,"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

I've probably just passed some kind of "now you are a true Tucsonan" test.