Where Is DOGE When I Need Them?

We received an unintelligible letter from a nameless (for obvious reasons) government entity.

We are intelligent humans, well educated in the art of deciphering difficult prose.  These sentences were not prose, which Webster says is the ordinary language people use in speaking or writing.  

Ordinarily, when I speak or write people understand what I'm saying.  Gibberish seems more to the point.

Back with Merriam Webster again, we find a double whammy.  Gibberish is not only unintelligible or meaningless language, it lands smack in the middle of pretentious or needlessly obscure language.

The letter in question requires no action on our part; that much is somewhat clear.  Further clarification will come in a subsequent communication, although no time frame is offered.  We have no way of independently discovering anything about the account in question; it seems to be a paperwork/filing/miscalculation on someone's part.  

Ours or theirs?  Who knows?

We're fairly certain that we are not at fault.  We are equally (un)certain that the amount in dispute is less than $50 dollars.  We are definitely certain that anything coming out of the Federal government at this point is suspect.

With firings and dismantlings and furloughs abounding, only a desperate person would call a government agency and hope to speak to a human.  So, we wait and wonder.

Is it DOGE screwing around with the data base and sending out fear inducing missives to unsuspecting citizens or is there a built-into-the-system mechanism that generates these things?  If so, it seems to be an obvious place for the DOGE boys to do something useful.

In the meantime, we will fret (because that's what we do) and fume and check the mailbox.  I can hardly wait to see what comes next.