You're in my thoughts. You've been popping up in the strangest places. You're smiling and you're comforting and you're there.
I don't conjure you, you just appear.
It's lovely to be driving across Orange Grove and hear you telling me to "look at that sky; those clouds look painted on." I certainly heard it often enough; over and over and over some days; some days with surprise in your voice; some days with awe; but always, without fail, on every sunny day.
I treated myself to a facial. As the aesthetician felt my skin, complimenting (herself?) its smoothness, I saw you lying in a hospital bed (there were so many hospital beds) as a doctor or a nurse or a tech wondered how you kept your skin so soft.
The kale leaf I offered a Prince Scholar fell in the soil as we made the exchange. I heard myself echoing your matter-of-fact tone as I told him, as you told all of us, to "brush it off; it's fine."
I brought fruit to JannyLou's dinner party on Sunday, standing beside you in our Oceanside kitchen as you created yet another fruit salad while I cored the strawberries.
And I've been feeling your hugs. They didn't last very long; you're the only person I've ever known to break away from a hug with "Okay, that's enough!" They weren't random; hello, goodbye, and tears were acceptable occasions for that much touching. But I can feel them now, whenever I want.
Happy Birthday, Mommy! Thanks for hanging around.
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