"Remember there was a time where you could not be a nominee and potentially lie to Congress and be voted in to a lifetime seat on the Supreme Court."
I heard this just after putting dinner in the oven. In Tucson, 84 and drizzling counts as pot roast weather; I had three hours to develop a post that would counteract the gloom outside.
I failed.
I kept coming back to the heartache I saw on Ashley Parker's face as she was describing the disintegration (okay, a girl can hope) of Brett Kavanaugh's nomination. She looked like I felt.
Hollowed out.
*****
The good men I know who are trying to reach out are uncertain of the reception their overtures will receive. They are worrying about striking the right tone, not wanting to offend.
Welcome to our world, we reply. Welcome to our world.
*****
My first real job interview included "They grow them will brass ones back in New York, don't they?"
I smiled and agreed. Coming to know him later, I realized that it was an inappropriately sexual remark; at the time, I took it as a geographic insult, and showed him exactly what a short, Jewish, girl from Long Island looked like.
I was young and naive and convinced that he needed me more than I needed him, and I was enjoying the game. His mid-western provincialism was no match for my snarky New York attitude. I got nearly the salary my outrageousness had requested.
I wonder if I'd have been as brave if I'd been responding to his innuendo-laden smile.
*****
So we're at an interesting place in our world right now.
Whether they believe Dr. Ford or they don't, men are thinking about what she said he did. Their sons and daughters are hearing it, too, and are watching their reaction. Women are used to having their reactions judged and, too often, found wanting for no reason other than gender. The good men I know are spending time apologizing for the misdeeds of their sex, feeling dishonored by the bad behavior of others, being judged for no reason other than gender.
It's mind bending.
And then there's the woman who claimed date rape gangs, sent a statement under oath; just did an interview on TV (which I didn't see as I don't watch salacious stuff despite being a romance writer); and where she ended up contradicting her oath sent by Avenatti.
ReplyDeleteTruth can go two ways and it's unfortunate that both sides can use lies for attention or revenge. It benefits the perverts and makes honest women scared to tell their stories. There is talk the third woman should be investigated and face a criminal penalty if she made it all up. We pretty well knew she made up part anyway, but she muddied the waters and for nobody's gain.
It's been a very unfortunate time, with a media salivating over every possible sexy detail-- with their own agenda. We can't know the truth of these people's stories because we don't know them. I try to read both sides. Most people these days don't-- and yes, there have been two sides out there if you look for it. I will be glad when it's over. It has brought much pain to many who were molested as they relive it and take it personally.
Although I've had a few ick experiences also. I never was a victim. I relate to those who were and how this has hurt them to think again they're not being listened to. The thing is women need to be honest about what happened and not go for the spotlight as apparently the third woman did.
The FBI report will convince no one who already has their mind made up. Kavanaugh's life will never be the same whether he's confirmed or not. If he was guilty, then he deserves it, if something more was at work (not saying here what) then he was a victim himself. I have never been sure which way this goes-- not knowing either of them. So much of this though is not about the 'crime' but about past experiences and a very partisan time-- on both sides.
I read a story this morning by a writer who claimed Kavanaugh had 'victimized' him during the Clinton hearings. I read it to see what it was about. In reality, it was the FBI who he said did it to his client as he was testifying to the Starr probe in the Foster suicide/murder. It had little to do with Kavanaugh other than this guy didn't like his cross-examination-- unless Kavanaugh was secretly running the FBI at the time. How many people read beyond headlines? The writer called Kavanaugh belligerent, etc. etc. He got his story out there only due to our times as otherwise, it's old news from the '90s. Nothing is old news today, I guess.
One thing for people to remember. If Kavanaugh proved to not be the judge he was on the DC circuit, if he was nasty, unfair, etc. etc. there is impeachment. It might be a lifetime appointment but it is possible to remove judges for cause. It just should not be partisan issues-- that's what elections are for and why many of us, who didn't like her, voted for Hillary anyway. A lot on the right did the same thing.