I dismissed the kudos he awarded himself when the Executive Editor of the NYTimes said that the biggest story he published was outing Harvey Weinstein's sexual assaults. I wasn't sure that it merited all that praise; it was, after all, not the Pentagon Papers. It was not taking down a President, nor stopping a war.
But now, less than a month later, Republicans are calling for their Senatorial candidate in Alabama to drop out of the race after allegations that he fondled and molested a 14 year old when he was 30. Ridley Scott is reshooting his latest film, taking out Kevin Spacey and replacing him with Christopher Plummer, after a young man accused Spacey of sexual assault. Those accusers were merely the first to speak out; others have followed in their footsteps.
Kasie Hunt told us that she and other women in the news business never spoke up about sexual harassment because they assumed that no one would care. An Arizona state representative is on the receiving end of similar complaints lodged by female legislators and lobbyists.
So, perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps the NYTimes did change our national conversation in a meaningful way.
I'm not certain that it will prevent men from behaving badly, especially when our President is a party to the issue. It does seem to have empowered the abused, and that is a significant change. It's caused me to wonder, for the first time in 50 years, why I didn't tell anyone about the hospital employee who backed me into a corner of an elevator and tried to kiss me. And, perhaps, it will allow another young woman to yell, to tell, to kick, to feel that she has the right to speak up and speak out and to place the blame where it belongs.
Maybe Mr. Baquet was right after all. Maybe he saw the ripple effect before I did.
I lost an internet friend when I said I hadn't been abused but had had men act inappropriately. I saw a difference in terms of trauma and she did not. Our son was out yesterday and the subject of this came up. He talked about how many times he's been groped in bars and told someone to knock it off-- men and women. He said what I did-- not to the level of abuse. What Moore did was. What Spacey did was. What Weinstein did was. But what gets me is what makes so many people think they can maul a stranger? I know some want to say Trump but that's because they hate him. This has been going on a long time. I had a guy chase me in the halls when I was in high school. He wanted a kiss. He never got it. My daughter had that happen to her in the grade school out here and the other kids didn't even help her-- during recess. My granddaughter had a kid grab her where it's illegal on the playground when she was in grade school. Maybe the willingness to talk about it is new but the acts are anything but-- sadly :(
ReplyDeleteNothing new except the shedding of light on the situation. I don't think that those men who acted poorly will stop doing it; it's about power and control and that seems to be genetically coded in some who share that Y chromosome with the wonderful men in my life who would never think of acting that way.
DeleteThose men are hurting for us and reaching out and I love that.
I agree that my situation was harassment and not abuse, and tho I remember it vividly I don't think I bear any lasting scars. I do wonder why I never said anything......
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The sad part about this is how we defend or did the ones on our side who do or have done it. So Moore has his supporters either not caring or saying the women lied. The same thing happened with Bill Clinton when women said he harassed or raped them. They were called trailer trash and many of us said it didn't matter-- only it should have. That might be the difference now that more are saying a casting couch is not okay, when for years we've heard it's what it took in Hollywood and maybe a lot of businesses. The thing is when one woman/man decides to sleep their way to a good job, the men get to thinking they are entitled to all the women and it leads to a Weinstein or Spacey. :( Or maybe those guys started out as perverts as it certainly sounds like Moore did.
DeleteRoy Moore was banned from a shopping mall... that pretty much says it's been an ongoing problem for a while.
DeleteYou are right about Bill Clinton, although those seemed more like affairs than assault. Still, he's not blameless and neither am I, I suppose, for not recognizing the bravery it took for those women to speak up. That was more political theater at times, though (eg. the Republicans bringing them to the debates and sitting them in the front rows).
These allegations, especially about Roy Moore and young teens, have a vulgarity that feels different to me.
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I'm really angry about the Roy Moore incidents. The Republicans are saying, "IF". How much more proof does one need with a story that was sourced with 30 people and four victims--none who knew each other. The Republicans were quick to jump on Weinstein and Spacey everyone immediately believed. Why not these women? AND they were all under-age; even more disturbing. And I doubt there were just four. We've seen that with all of these other men, when someone or a few come forward, more do.
ReplyDeleteI'm sickened by the whole thing and he refuses to pull out from the race. To fundraise on the accusations was really the bottom of the barrel. Absolutely revolting.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I think almost all women have faced some sort of sexual harassment. Maybe something good will come of all of this. Men will finally understand that we are not objects to be pawed at and groped (or worse).
Sending massive hugs.
Megan xxx
It wasn't a big deal to me then - and that says volumes, doesn't it?
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I think of all the tv shows and movies I've seen over the years where men would grab a woman in a way I wouldn't want to be grabbed. I always cringed at such behavior but usually there was laughter on the show or in the theater. It was so common that I just looked the other way because no one seemed to think it was so bad. Too many men felt it was their "right."
ReplyDeleteThis is jsut what Kasie Hunt said about the issue - when you feel that no one is listening, you say nothing and look the other way.
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