Friday, January 13, 2017

When They Surprise You

He does it because he almost lost me.  He worries.  A lot.

So his look of relief - when I announced that I didn't think I was physically up to walking in January in D.C. with thousands of other people for miles and miles even though were I able to go I would, for sure - wasn't unexpected.

So tonight, when I said that if I could get on a bus and sleep all the way to Washington, arriving at just the right time and dropped off as close as possible to wherever we wanted to be and then picked up at a logical location and driven home, he surprised me.

After 46 years together, surprises are few and far between.

"Well, why don't you go on-line and see if there's a bus company that will do that?"

The weather's going to be fine.  JannyLou's going and so is my gynecologist.  She doesn't have a pussy hat, but she has t-shirts in a similar vein.

"Will I worry? Of course I will.  And please don't ask me to go with you (TBG does not do crowds.) But if there is one peace-time issue that is worth going to Washington for, it's this.  And I totally get your need to go; it's such a you thing to do."

It's 33 hours across I-10 or $1000 for a change-planes-trip and 2 days and 16 hours on 7 different buses and Amtrak has Coach seats for 51 hours so I'm looking for another way to speak out that day, but I do it with a great big smile on my face.

For almost five decades, I've listened to TBG sing the praises of strong women.  Women's rights are human rights and human rights are women's rights seems so obvious to him.  He'll be the first to tell you that a civilization can be judged by the way it treats women.  I wasn't surprised that he thought it was the right thing to do.

I was surprised that his worry about the future of America outweighed his worry about the safety of his wife.  I was surprised that he wanted me to go. He wanted me to make a statement because a statement needed to be made and I was the person to make it.  Of course he would worry; he worries whenever I walk out the door.  It's the way it is when someone you care about goes to the grocery store and ends up with bullet wounds.

But for this, for standing up to misogyny and disrespect, against the lies and the nihilism and the obvious disregard for anything beyond his own small mindedness, for this President (for President he surely will be) - for this he would worry but not worry-enough-more-to-matter.

That was a big surprise... and, then again, maybe it shouldn't have been.

It's a sign of the times, my friends.  


17 comments:

  1. Have you ever taken a really long bus ride? I have when we lived in Tucson and my husband was in grad school. We went from there to california and then Oregon, one of my more miserable experiences-- and I was young. I'd never do it again. I don't know how a train would be but better if a person could get a sleeper, I think. Otherwise, if it was me, I'd fly-- no matter what it costs. That's why we saved money when younger-- to have that option when old.

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    1. It's the changing planes and walking thru airports and waiting in line for transportation to and fro and then being able to join the adventure. I just don't think that I have the oomph I'd need. Had I known it would be 51 and sunny, as predicted, I'd have worked out and gotten ready for it but I long ago came to terms with the fact that winter cold and icy ground and any wind at all and I are a bad combination. How DJT managed to get good weather I do not know (a sign from the heavens that all is not lost, perhaps?) but I will raise my voice here, wishing I were there along with my pussy hats.
      a/b

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    2. Little Cuter and I regularly took long sleeper car train trips and loved them. I'm claustrophobia struck just thinking about days on a bus.
      a/b

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    3. I agree and they stop so many times. ugh. You could use the wheelchairs in airports when you do need to go. There is nothing wrong with saving your energy for what matters the most.

      Are they having an event in Tucson? A lot of towns are and that's a possibility. I am like your husband and don't do big crowds period. I never did when young either although I was more willing to be at the edge of one then.

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    4. I don't chant, tho I did march. But managing the Mobilization Against the War in 1970 felt simple; we piled in a car and drove from Ithaca to DC, stayed at a random professor's house (I can't remember how or why). Now, at 65 instead of 18, I will rely on the youngsters to travel while I go to Tucson and stand still!
      a/b

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    5. When the big demonstrations were happening against the Vietnam War, we were opposed to it, voted accordingly (for all the good it usually did us), but were in the midst of birthing babies in '66 and '69. My mind was on them not on what was outside ;). I feel like now it was like a happy little cocoon of getting a home and starting a family. I thought when my son was 6 months old, about when you are talking about that with a daughter 3 and him that my personal life was as good as it would ever be-- which shows you how removed I was from the outside world.

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    6. I have a friend who was drafted and went to Vietnam and still remembers the hate with which he was greeted when he returned. I think or at least hope that we have learned from that time as it wasn't fair to blame the soldiers as they had no choice but many did and they spit on them and called them names. While it was a time of civil action, it also was a time of great hate to the point of some of the protest groups going too far. I hope that doesn't happen this time.

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    7. When The Cuters went to An 80's Costume Party I was flummoxed. What did we wear/listen to in the 1980's? I was in maternity clothes or sweat pants and listening to Raffi sing Baby Beluga over and over and over again :-)
      a/b

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    8. We were so unkind to those who served and returned. I like to think that we are wiser now as a society. We are no longer blaming the victims of failed policy.
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  2. I'm heartbroken that I cannot go. Had it planned and THEN the fall. I can barely walk from the fractured vertebrae. It hurts to even walk in my house with the brace on. I would be taking Metro and was supposed to be going with my sister-in-law and niece. I know how historical this is and the importance of being there.

    I was going to see if you were coming and invite you to stay at my house. You and I will be there in spirit.

    Sending hugs.


    Megan xxx

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    1. I was going to ask you for a bed! )My brother is in MD but he has cats).

      We do so much; we cannot beat ourselves for what our bodies are asking, now can we?
      a/b

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  3. Many of us will just be resisting in place.

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  4. There is an event here in Tucson. Want to join me and some other like-minded friends?

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  5. there's also an event in Phoenix, expecting 2,000 plus people. About a one mile walk, starting I think at the capitol. The info is on facebook and can be linked from the Women's March on Washington - Phoenix page.

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    1. I'll go to Armory Park in Tucson, with my own personal pink pussy hat. For those reading in Phoenix and Scottsdale and Ahwatuki and Glendale and Mesa and Tempe (I know who you are!) this might be of interest.
      a/b

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