Friday, February 26, 2016


That's what I am.  Blank.
Scraped raw.
The tears have stopped but the ache inside is pulsing.
I could take another Ativan.
I could wallow in the misery.

No.  I will not allow him to win.

I will stop trying to let my fingers figure it out on the keyboard, because I am tired of dwelling in this space.  I am going to the garden store and I am going to buy pretty things and then I am going to play in the dirt.

I'll be back on Monday with a lighter heart.

For now, hug those you love and hold them tight.  Tomorrow is not promised; make the most of today.


  1. I think our culture encourages us to always be upbeat, to think we can get beyond something if we want to, etc. The reality is we all have dark days and nothing to feel someone must hide. Write what you feel and give it time. It's a particularly frustrating time for all of us, even without having gone through a major trauma. I like the saying-- it is what it is. Sometimes that's not good.

    1. If people could manage to stop murdering their co-workers I might have a chance to heal. Damn.

    2. The anger and rage out there in personal relationships just seems overpowering to everyone who has any degree of sensitivity. I can only imagine for someone who's been through it. It makes it tough and I don't know what's going on :( except a lot of people are mad at they don't have any empathy for others. Very weird time

    3. WHY is there so much anger??? It's such a good question.
      I don't know the answer, but it's hard to watch.

  2. Boy howdy am I learning the lesson of tomorrow is not promised. In the blogosphere there has been much of that lately; lives cut short out of the blue. You, and they, have impressed upon me that the planning horizon is sometimes shorter than expected. Digging in the dirt (such as it is around here) is good therapy, and I hope it allows you to be better in your heart and mind. Happy digging.

  3. I think playing in the dirt, planting pretty things, is a wonderful remedy.

  4. Bless you. Hope you find a little peace.

    1. <3
      Thanks. You put a little bandaid on my achy heart.


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