Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Blue

Maybe it's the gloomy skies.

Maybe it's my little girl bemoaning the fact that work takes her from her infant daughter for twelve long hours, five days a week.

Maybe it's the realization that walking from Burtt and Ernie's house to the lecture at Centennial Hall and then back again will be more than my body can handle. 

Maybe it's the minor tumult in my extended family, minor only because some of us have refused to rise and take the bait.

Whatever it is, it's sitting on my shoulders like stubborn dandruff.  It won't be brushed away.

TBG is watching Disney's Zorro, reprising his childhood as the episodes unfold.  His knee is acting up, his usual spin teacher has been ill, the substitutes have been unsatisfying, he didn't enjoy his food last night.... and Zorro seems to be putting him in a better place. 

I wish it were that easy for me to change my mood.

I tried reading, but couldn't keep my mind on Amy Tan's courtesan's daughter. 

I tried bagel-and-lox, but it only left me burping and thirsty.

I'm on my way to Pilates and then to meditation and then to spend some quality time with Mr. 9.  Perhaps that will help.  For now, I have nothing left in my bag of tricks.

I'm blue.

I'm going to go with Heidi's prescription.  I'm going to allow myself the privilege of having a bad day.

2 comments:

  1. I've been experiencing a time of bleakness right now too and don't have a real reason for it other than it's winter and lots of fog and dark days.We are lambing and lost a favorite ewe to it which is depressing but then that is part of raising livestock. I try to think of something I could do to lift my mood and there's just no idea. I think what you said is right-- sometimes just let it be. Spring is coming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adding a real loss to the general malaise was just life saying "It's Not Fair" right up in your face. I'm with you - focusing on thoughts of spring.
      a/b

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