Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How Did This Happen?

How is it possible that our Playgroup babies are now entering their thirties? I would like someone to explain it to me.

The Bride wonders if the Cuters can meet her in Atlanta for her big day.  I read the query on Facebook, and it stopped me cold.  I read it and reread it and tried to smile.  Really, I tried to beat back my beating heart and my flushed face as I looked around for some joy.

The kids (kids?!?!?) have been friends forever; there's never been a time when they weren't invested in one another. Now she's turning 30 and looking to share March Madness with alums who might also be in the Final Four.  Kansas.... Georgetown.... Indiana.... I'm sure great basketball wasn't the only reason they chose those schools, right?

I try to avoid thinking about the fact that Little Cuter set off for her freshman year a decade ago.  She's still my little girl, with the untamed hair and the feisty attitude.  The hair is neater, the attitude remains.  She's happiest when she's busy, then and now.  The only difference is that now she's behind the wheel of a car, she's paying her own bills, she's organizing her own life.  I have input, but as a mom.  I'm no longer "the decider."  I am humbled whenever I tumble over that fact.

I sent her a package today, filled with report cards and diplomas and awards.  She has her own house, with storage space aplenty.  The items are hers; resting in my filing cabinet only until she was ready to receive them.  I understand G'ma's need to divest herself of possessions.  I also understand the little bit of sadness which always tinged the smiles as she gifted her crystal bowls, her costume jewelry, her car.

Do they think about us as much as we think about them?  Probably not, I imagine. I don't remember my own parents being front and center when I was their age.  My own space was so full of new and unexpected adventures, my horizons were expanding and my options seemed limitless.  I see that in the three of them and it makes me smile.... and tired, too.

I'm not setting out on an ice floe any time soon, but I am beginning to notice the turning of a tide.  I am going to concentrate on staying afloat and avoiding becoming the undertow.  Life goes on... forward... and the kids are the grown-ups now.

And still, I wonder.  Just how did this happen?  Where was I when this was going on?


6 comments:

  1. It makes me sad to see my kids getting bigger. I wish they could stay my babies. My girls get all annoyed when I try to hold them in my arms like I did when they were younger. I can still do that with my litter man and I'm hanging on for dear life. I cannot believe he's turning four next month! The time goes by way too fast.

    Now you have my heart racing 'cause I just don't want to think of them as not my babies.

    Wishing time stood still.


    Megan xxx

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  2. This post resonates with me today - my 30 year old will marry his 29 year old beautiful bride in your fair city in a few weeks! I've been feeling very Fiddler on the Roof-ish ("Is this the little boy I carried?") for a few months now. My parents are both gone so I can't go back and ask them if they felt the feelings you've expressed so well in this post - although I do have one photo of them from my wedding that makes me think they also wondered how their oldest baby could possibly be getting married.

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    1. That song resonated as our little girl and her beautiful husband tied the knot this summer. I, too, wished I could talk about it with my parents. Instead, I turned to YOU in The Burrow... and found I was not alone <3 Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials.
      a/b

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  3. How does this happen? How did I reach the age where my contemporaries are developing dementia and heart disease? Where did the years go? It's hard to accept.

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    Replies
    1. True! Very very true! Went to dinner last night and heard this: I used to have an ache or a pain and I knew why. Now I just have aches and pains.
      a/b

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