Becoming UnStuck

I have been stuck.  I have had many projects in mind, none of which I've gotten close to starting.  The one thing I managed to do turns out to be much less useful than I'd hoped.  My closet is a disaster area, from the floor to the bulletin board whose sticky tape became unstuck sooner than I did.  

I managed to clean out most of my car and I did donate the books and magazines I couldn't resell.  I"m not sure how much credit I should take for that.

A like minded Pilates instructor and I bemoaned the sorry state of affairs.  I just keep thinking of how happy we could be.... imagine Pete as Secretary of State..... We shook our heads and then shook the bad thoughts away but that was a nuance I had not explored and so it lived in my head for a while.

A friend's daughter wondered if she and her girlfriend should get married.... they are in the military.... in Texas.  That conversation was a real life counterpart to the internet fact that vasectomies are up 1,200% since the election.

Then I went to an award's ceremony and ran into a friend, a wonderful woman who had collected two other random, wonderful women, and by the end of the evening (and it really was the end; they were turning off the heat lamps) we four had a reservation for breakfast after Thanksgiving.  

Have you heard about the four year cruise ship for Americans who want to leave during the next administration?  No internet. $250,000 (which isn't that bad for four years of room, board, entertainment, travel, and the company of like minded people).  

I began to consider this option with more than a little seriousness.  Then I stopped and mentally slapped myself.  It's okay to be sad, but I'm done wallowing.  That would be letting him win twice.  I'm done being disappointed in the Democratic Party; they are playing by the rules while their opponents have rewritten the Codex.  

I spent some time imagining a Bernie/AOC ticket and that got me thinking of all the disappointments and all the times we've pulled ourselves up and out..... and then Matt Gaetz decided to sit down and shut up and leave the rest of us alone and for a brief moment I was thrilled that 5 Republicans had suddenly developed a spine.  

Good news on the political front was a shock.  I felt less alone.  It was a karmic shift... perhaps a reason to hope that more might be on the way.... and for a moment I wasn't quite as afraid.... because I had come to realize that I was more afraid than sad or mad or confused and afraid is not something that's regularly in my life.

Feeling that cloud lift after leaving the Prince gardeners' hugs filled some of the empty spaces in my soul.  I felt unstuck.

I'm going to rehang the bulletin board, straighten up my closet, and generally get my shit together.  It is what it is.  It will be what it will be.  As my friend Rocky told her children, all you can really control is your attitude.  

I'm waiting to see what the future looks like.  My attitude is improving.