The Aftermath of Pilates With The Master Disseminator

I can feel the blood flowing, strong, warm, and with alacrity.  Sometimes it gets stuck around a joint that's been bent too long which requires scratching and pressing and helping to get the circulation get going again.  It feels so good, once it's moving properly.

Apparently, it wasn't my right hip so much as my left hip and the concomitant pelvic realignment that was to blame for my increasing inability to walk.  This evening, I'm gliding around the house, volunteering to get things from the garage, taking no more than a second or two to get organized before I start walking.  

That's fine, slowing down is fine, not hurting is much more than fine.  As my gait worsened and those who love me worried aloud to me, the more despondent I became.... and the stiffer and more painful my gait became.  I started talking about seeing the orthopedic surgeon who reconstructed my hip.  

I'm so much more than fine now that I remember that supervised therapeutic movement in a space occupied by others engaged in the same energetic pursuit, is what I've been missing.  

Alone, I go through the motions, doing it but not fully engaged, looking for a reason to stop.  In the Pilates Diva's studio, I'm focused and pressed to do my best, which I do.  Surrounded by others, I feel the need to show off.  That infuses every movement with an extra zing.  I'm not judging.  I'm noticing.

After all, I've been living a controlled experiment for nearly two years.  I'm the entire subject pool.  I went from exercising with others at least 5 times a week to a schedule of gradually waning attempts to keep fit at home, via live Zoom then videotaped Zoom then not even feeling guilty about not working out anyplace but with the Pilates Diva.  And now I'm upping my game, venturing into the public arena, thus bringing out the best in myself, working with the woman to whom the legacy was bequeathed  

She has total faith in my ability to restore myself.

I didn't believe in that capability this morning.  I do now.