I'm Trying

I don't know why I'm trying, but I am.  Perhaps because I care about the person who asked me to listen to Theo Von's podcast with jdvance.  I'm not linking to it because no one else should have to suffer.  It's 2 hours and 2 minutes long.  I have 1 hour and 47 minutes left.  

That may not be possible without recreational enhancements.

The only thing I found to like in these first 15 minutes was that our wannabe vp likes the Chicago Bulls of the 1990's.  That's a fairly innocuous choice; everybody likes the Michael Jordan, 6-peat, Bulls....unless you're a Pistons fan.

But after that, he fell short.  I live with a die hard Ohio State fan and I can tell you that he, unlike the wannabe vp, knows when Ohio State lost to Michigan and when they didn't, and he knows the margin of victory of every one of those game s.

Listening to those two fumble through what had the potential to be a sports conversation I could follow with enthusiasm left me wanting.  Ah, yes, another persona for him to adopt - a fervent Buckeye fan.

And yes, of course, it gets worse.  He began to recount Tales from the Crypt.

There's a story about a Michigan fan shoving a fistful of mud into our wannabe vp's mouth.  Really??  Was that before or after the miscreant ate a pet?  And what did our not yet a wannabe vp say to provoke such an assault.

His friend made a 9 year old Michigan fan cry by telling him his team sucked.  These two adult men, one who wants to be one obese heartbeat away from the Presidency, laughed and took creepily eerie delight in the long lasting effect that must have had on the now grown kid.

It was like Eddie Haskell, a bully relishing his win.

Another story, another punch in the mouth, then the host calling the collection of stories like a wedding in Appalachia... an appellation the wannabe vp agreed was apt.

But what irked me the most, what is most indicative of his character, was his entrance to this rabbit hole.

He thought he might be on his way to Ohio State for a football game next weekend, although when you're running for vp you never know where you are. 

His children are coming; it's their first football game.  As the conversation turned to tailgating, our wannabe vp mused at some length about the inappropriate for my kids (7,4,2) activities that might ensue.  They moved on after this, and I quote exactly:

Maybe my wife will take them somewhere and I'll enjoy the tailgate.

Damn.

Just when the Great Dad persona was coming into view, the controlling man-child powered through. 

I just figured out how to listen at 2x speed.  Maybe that will help.

(For Tim)