The Fine Print

Do you read the fine print?  Do you read any of the boilerplate print?  It should come as no surprise that I do.

I can feel TBG and Daddooooo leaning over my shoulder whenever I'm presented with a document to sign.  I have no inclination to turn directly to the signature lines.  I read.  I make sure I know what I am signing.  It drives some salespeople to distraction.  I always apologize for being so diligent, but I never stop reading.

I haven't bought anything requiring fine print in a very long time.  Instead, I have been reading the words at the bottom of television commercials.  Not just the Do not attempt this at home caveats.  I'm talking about the paragraphs below the MSRP numbers flashing below that shiny new sporty thing they think I want to have.  

I read the words that tell me that the pictures I'm seeing are available on European models only.  I discover that the actual price of that very tempting car is $15,000 over the base price once you include all the extras that attracted me in the first place.  

I read that the offer I'll be given when I call may not be the same offer that I'm seeing on the screen.  I notice that the 30 day cancellation policy starts from the date the order is placed, not the date the item is received.  

I laugh when they warn me to be a careful driver after their professional driver on a closed course splashes through deep water.  I giggle when they know someone like me is reading and they make little jokes.

And sometimes I am stumped.  Yesterday, I saw a woman dumping fake money into another woman's laundry basket.  I have no idea what they were selling.  I was busy reading the tiny print at the bottom which said Actual impressions of paid individuals.

Um, actors?  

Is this woman holding the basket giving a false impression?  A fake impression?  

Are they reassuring me that I'm not watching an AI impression?

Did I think that these women would be filmed doing something this ridiculous and not ask to be paid?

I just don't know.