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Thursday, October 14, 2021

Happy Birthday, Daddooooo

You weren't easy, but you were mine.

You knew more about so many things than anyone I knew.  Not all of it was true, but all of it was interesting.  You knew the details about the cobblestones on certain Manhattan streets, about who lived in which apartment in The Dakota, about who built which building where.

You took classes until you couldn't drive to Queens College any more.  You took copious notes and left them on scraps of paper in The Collected Works of Shakepeare, in Gilbert and Sullivan's Collected Works, in letters you sent my way.  I treasure them all.

You listed all the words you did not know, and put their definitions beside them.  

You were an ice skater and a skier until your body said No More.  You pulled our sleds up hills and ran behind us as we learned to ride a two wheeler.  There was always a kite and a swim suit in the trunk of your car.

You talked to everyone.... whether they wanted to talk to you or not.

You made an impression.... even when fading into the background would have been more appropriate.

You loved your grandchildren and they loved you.  

You were misunderstood (on the spectrum, in retrospect, undiagnosed).  

You've left a giant hole in the world.  

I'm going to get soft serve ice cream today (if only there were a Carvel stand in Tucson... alas) and stir it into soup before I eat it, just as you did.  I'll carry you around in my head and my heart, sharing my day with you.  

I miss you, Daddy.

6 comments:

  1. Left a note in my OED, too :) the kids LOVED finding that one! I'll get some vanilla soft serve for him today, too.

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    1. He's watching them and sharing our ice cream. He loved you so.
      a/b (mama)

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  2. I loved this. I would have loved your dad. These lines sound just like me:

    You talked to everyone.... whether they wanted to talk to you or not.

    You made an impression.... even when fading into the background would have been more appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What an interesting man your father was! I loved reading this.
    My 45 year old son was recently diagnosed as on the spectrum. He's high functioning but I know what you mean about being misunderstood. His diagnosis sure explained a lot for me looking back at the trials of raising him.

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    1. We would have been less angry/judgmental/disparaging of his inability to tear himself away from a project, of his disrespecting social cues, of his My Way or The Highway attitude had we known.
      On the other hand, his intensity, his ability to retain and share information, his unending curiosity and absolute love for his grandkids made him very very special.
      a/b

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Talk back to me! Word Verification is gone!