I noticed that my hip doesn't hurt.
Brother said, halfway through this adventure in perforation, You never get a break, do you? It's always there. He was right. It was always there, until suddenly, it wasn't.
Sure, I can make it hurt, but the dull ache of chronic pain centered in my hip is a thing of the past.
*****
Of course, right now, after Pilates and swimming a quarter mile's worth of laps, my newly discovered adductors are announcing their presence with authority.
As always, so long as the pain sensation keeps moving around, everything's good.
*****
It's not pain. It's a sensation.
A wise physical therapist counseled me to assess the threat value of the sensation before I decided it was pain and not discomfort related to getting better. It was very good advice.
I feel the sensation and I re-adjust my posture so that all my muscles are working together and, while it takes effort to hold myself erect, it's also exactly what I need to do in order to continue to heal.
*****
I remember when the orthopedic surgeon told me that my only job was to heal. I've added other jobs as I've been able, but I've always deferred to healing over everything else.
I stop before I do damage. I rest when I'm injured and I don't repeat the offending movement. I'm not 30 years old any more; my mind refuses to believe and my body reminds........
*****
And so I can work in the garden for an hour, bending and twisting and carrying and lifting and kneeling and sitting down and getting up. When I'm done, I'm done, but while I'm working I'm intense.
My body is not getting in my way as I'm doing the things I love to do.
The assessments always want to quantify how much my injury took from me. How much of my life have I been able to resume, they wonder.. For many years, I've been stuck at 85%, and felt grateful to have that much.
Lately, though, 90% seems like a more accurate description.
*****
There's still more work to do, but I have a new mantra that makes me smile and gives me hope.
This is where I go when that last set of whatevers is just too much to consider,
My 90 year old self will thank me for this.
I would say your attitude is very healthy.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you! It's this or despair... and this is more fun!
Deletea/b
Good for you. I too think about what my older self will be able to do. So every morning, i'm on the floor doing a series of exercises for my stenosis and sciatica.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, too! Use it or lose it was my father's mantra, and he'd lovingly browbeat TGB's mom to get off the recliner and move!
Deletea/b
When I read your first line, I though, "oh, mine doesn't either".
ReplyDeleteI know about healing, but mine is post surgical from arthritis. I had spine surgery three months ago and am just now able to do some gardening. Bending and twisting are still not a good thing. I am also three months away from hip replacement surgery, which will be in January, and all of my daily physical therapy exercises are both for healing my back and keeping my hip mobile. Then there's the knee and the other hip and the neck, but Uf Dah, one thing at a time.
How wonderful that you could say, "Oh, I don't hurt!"
If someone had told me that the pain in rehab post-surgery (and it was medication-worthy pain)would be rewarded in a year when I was more mobile I'd have been more inclined to endure the discomfort. The pieces I moved in the beginning are much happier than the ones that were too ouchy to do anything.... or so I told my lazy ass self :-)
Deletea/b
P.S. I'm glad yours didn't hurt, either!
Delete