One Cuter on the West Coast. One Cuter in the Midwest. Brother on the East Coast. TBG and I in the middle of it all, a plane flight or two away from them. It sounds closer than it feels.
We toyed with the idea of moving to Indiana. I float the idea of returning to California. The East Coast holds no allure; we lived there and don't want to return to the congestion and the weather and the taxes.
We love our home, our friends, our life in Arizona. The weather works for our older and achy bones. The politics are in play, with a Senate seat up in 2020 and a blue wave creeping around the edges of the polity. The body workers upon whom I rely to keep me moving' and groovin' are in place. TBG has his spin class buddies. My garden is finally taking shape.
But those I love are absent from my day to day life. FlapJilly and I spent a delightful 40 minutes playing Ninja Mini Golf around the corner from her house.
But the sun didn't shine for 5 days in a row. Notre Dame has no Humanities Seminars for adult learners. The gym with the "good spin bikes" is half an hour away from where we'd live. And we know no one but the kids and the machatunim, and that's just not enough.
Do I want to start over again? Do I want to establish new friendships? Do I want to find ways to become involved in the community when I don't know the issues that matter?
I feel too settled to abandon the life I've made in the desert Southwest. I'd be heartbroken to leave my Prince family And just thinking about driving in the snow again makes me shiver.... and that's assuming that someone else will shovel the driveway so that I can get out.
Yes, there are companies to do the yard work and the groceries can be delivered and my grandchildren will fill my heart with joy. But I can get on a plane and fly here, stopping in Chicago to see old friends if I want. Their lives are full without us, though they'd love to have us around.
Yes, they would. They tell us so (just not next door!) and we believe them. But I've lived in so many different places since I left Long Island when I was 18, and Tucson really feels like home now.
Leaving is hard. Life decisions are hard. I'm glad I'm around to have such a lovely quandary to examine.
Being older than you and having older grandkids, I'd say stay where you are and fly often. The grandkids grow up, have their own friends, activities, and you'd not get the time you want. By flying in often, where you can afford it, you stay special-- not to mention they can visit you and find it great as they get older.
ReplyDeleteThat's what we determined after spending 10 days there. As usual, you offer sage advice.
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I agree with Rain. Also, there is no guarantee that your kids will stay there. I've had friends who moved to be closer to the grandkids and then a new job came along and the young family moved away, leaving the grandparents behind. As the grandkids get older, they too will go their various ways. It's easy for young people to get up and go. Let them come see you.
ReplyDeleteWe laughed when we thought of this possibility - "where will we go next?"
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I read about your life in Tucson, and your friends and your community, and am impressed by how embedded you've become here. It would be hard to replicate elsewhere. Fly often!
ReplyDeleteI"ve been embedded before - Chicago, Marin - and it was hard to leave each time. I'm just not sure I have enough energy to begin once again.
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