When the Sadness is Just Too Much

There's too much horror in the world these days.

The NRA thinks that Alison Parker's parents were too emotional to be rational.

I'm not sure rationality is called for right now.  I think outrage is a more appropriate reaction to the evening news. When the evening news is all about your family, as it was for us in 2011, being thoughtful is nearly impossible.

Being close to gun violence once means that we are close it it forever.  The Parkers' pain is our pain.  What kind of world do we live in? There is no answer, no simple slogan that will wipe away the images of what we'd all like to do to our assailants... in the quiet of the nighttime, with no one listening, with no one to judge, our basest instincts run rampant.

Dreams of visiting pain and suffering on that thing, as one of the Aurora moms calls their shooter, intrude, waking us up, sweating, shaking, horrified that those thoughts exist within us.  There's a terrifying moment when you realize that your mind... your psyche.... your innermost self... thinks you are capable of horrific acts.

It's unleashing something primal, something intrinsically linked to survival.

The worst part is how good it feels.

Don't judge.  Don't qualify.  Don't try to explain or examine or interpret.  Just be there when we need a shoulder to rest upon.

We know it's awful.  We also know that it's there.