Why That Tom Brady Fathead Has to Go

http://www.fathead.com/nfl/new-england-patriots/tom-brady-quarterback-wall-graphic/

Dear Mr. 11,

I'm sorry, but your Tom Brady Fathead has got to go.

I know. I know. I know.  You love your Fathead.  It was a present. It completes your Patriot's Man Cave.  

It doesn't matter.  I am the self-appointed Keeper of Morality in Sports, Mr 9 & 11 Division.  Since the only thing I'd change about my Mom is if she knew more about sports defines your maternal unit's relationship to grown men playing games for profit, it has fallen to me, your faux-grandmother, to intervene.

We've already been through the Aaron Hernandez debacle; I remember your surprise when you learned that the first trial was for murdering the people who knew about the murder in the second trial.  TWO murders??? you gasped, and I had to tell you that, in fact, there were three dead people attached to this soon-to-be-former hero.  

There were no arguments; it was pretty obvious that a man who was going to spend the rest of his life in prison would not make for much football conversation over the rest of your lifetime. Unfortunately,  you and your brother latched on to Adrian Peterson.

That one started out okay; he seemed like a good guy, his teammates respected him, he had solid football skills.  But then his 4 year old son went back to his mother with slash marks across his back and scrotum.... yes, I did say scrotum, but only after Mr. 9 tried to justify the behavior by saying He was only spanking him.  Using part of a tree to leave welts on your testicles is a bit more than a spanking.... as all three of you boys, squirming in the back seat, agreed.

And now we are faced with the Patriots' quarterback, a man who is too handsome for his own good.  He must have gotten used to the smiles and adulation at a very early age; his kind of egocentrism is not lightly attained. 

What am I talking about?  Pretty people receive smiles and better evaluations than those deemed less attractive.  If you spend your whole life being a star athlete, with a face that could launch a thousand ships (The Iliad explains that... and so does Dr. Faustus), well, then, you are more than likely to think well of yourself.  

All that positive reinforcement, all those kudos, all those trophies, they are everywhere.  These reminders of how wonderful you are are on the television, in the newspaper, and on the faces of boys like you and your brother.  Imagine how hard it would be to avoid all that attention..... and then imagine if you would want to avoid it.

People shouting your name.  Fans roaring when you enter the field.  Life-size photo cut-outs of yourself on the wall of boys and girls across the country.  Money.  Prestige.  Influence.  

Would you want to give it up?  

Then, ask yourself what you'd do to keep it. 

An independent investigator said that it's more probable than not that Tom Brady not only knew that the footballs he was using in the AFC Championship game were under-inflated, but that he influenced the men who were in charge of those footballs to bring them to him in that condition.  

I know.  I know.  I know.  It didn't make any difference to the outcome of the game.  The Patriots trounced their opponents.  Please, though, don't ask me why it's such a big deal.

Okay, I'll answer it anyway, because you've said it to me before and, I fear, you are thinking it right now.  

It's such a big deal because it's cheating  He definitely knew that there was a rule about ball inflation, and it's more probable than not that he knew the balls he was using did not meet that standard.  

I know this is more probable than not because every football talking head on ESPN swore that he could tell, by touch alone, if the balls were a pound or two under weight.  None of them seemed to believe Tom Brady's supposed ignorance of the transgression.

Your mom is a lawyer.  Should she only care about the rules which fit the outcome she desires?  Can she feel free to flaunt the ones that don't seem to make much difference in the end?  Should she be aggravated if another lawyer does that?

The more egregious problem, at least as the Keeper of Morality sees it, is the fact that he did not cooperate with the investigation.  When the dogs eat the tacquitos because the treats weren't replaced in the refrigerator, is it okay for all the kids to refuse to tell Mom where they were when it happened? Better yet, why wouldn't they, if giving the information to the investigator (Mom) would clear themof any wrong doing?

I'm not talking about lying; that issue was covered above. I'm talking about taking responsibility for your actions.

I'm talking about cooperating with the investigators, not hiding your cell phone and refusing to share the information it contained.  I'm talking about the disconnect between not cooperating and then slamming the report because it was biased.  I'm talking about having someone else make (feeble) excuses rather than defending yourself.

Did you notice that his agent gave a long screed to the media, but Brady himself claimed not to have read the report.  He said he would do so once he had considered what was written.  Take a moment and think - if someone wrote a 240 page report discussing your behavior, would you do anything else from the moment it was released than read it?  Wouldn't you be curious?  Obviously, reading it in that amount of time was possible; his agent did it.

Tom Brady went to the University of Michigan.  He has to be able to read 240 pages in 36 hours or he would never have completed his freshman year.  

The only conclusions I can draw are less than flattering.  He's so in love with himself that he cannot bear to read anything which might diminish him.  He's so convinced that he did nothing wrong that he doesn't care what anyone else might think.  He cannot imagine a world in which he is not beloved, so he must be innocent of everything.  

MY PHONE? You want my phone? It's TOM BRADY's phone, man! NO WAY!

Can't you hear him saying that... thinking that.... doing that?  

Is that really the guy you want to emulate?

Think Andrew Luck or Peyton Manning or Steph Curry or Tim Howard ... you choose, I'll pay.

Just get that less than admirable cheater off your wall.

Love,

Your Suzi