Everybody's Got an Opinon

Why we pay attention to those opinions is a matter for speculation.  All I know is that I am surrounded by people who are letting others influence how they feel about situations that are no one's business but their own. 

A second wedding is being planned, and everyone is weighing in. I have zero tolerance for buttinski's around this issue, as those of you who've been reading for a while, and remember the posts surrounding Little Cuter and SIR's nuptials can attest. There is enough stress attached to the whole change of status piece of the event; there is no reason to make the celebration another place for angst.  Still, it's happening.

Her boss has opinions on the validity and sanctity of a marriage performed by an internet-ordained minister.  Not taking it seriously was my favorite comment.... as if asking a best friend to consecrate what he's watched develop over time is somehow lacking in sincerity and depth.  True, there aren't many qualifications for the on-line ordination, but I'm not sure how that is relevant. Priests go through years of training, and not all of them have lived exemplary lives. Rabbi's go to seminary and study ancient texts, but that doesn't always translate to their ability to advise in the real world.  Somehow, asking a person who's shared your struggles and watched you come out on the other end seems more personal, more relevant, more right than employing a stranger.

Without any attachment to formal religious practice, the couple looked to their hearts and chose his best friend. They could have chosen a judge, but overlapping workplaces would make certain situations awkward at least, and untenable at the extreme.  Having watched Big Cuter unite his sibling and brother-in-law in matrimony by the power vested in me by my sister going on the internet, the bride knows that such ceremonies can be special.... personal... perfect... and can result in a marriage that will last forever.

Don't believe me?  Just ask the kids.

The reluctant officiant seems to think that with the sudden addition of the bride's family to the very small list of invitees he is no longer capable of conducting the ceremony.  Somehow, her family's arrival dictates a more traditional service.  I'm not sure why.  I've never met anyone from Iowa who stood on ceremony, and I've met a lot of people who are from Iowa since I've been acquainted with SIR.  They are the most down-to-earth, let's-get-this-done crew I've ever known.  Why they are intimidating him I do not know.

I've offered to go to the courthouse with them tomorrow and get it done.  I've offered Big Cuter's services, in case they want someone with experience. I've even offered to become ordained myself and do the deed my way. 

Times are changing, and weddings are being dragged along with them.  There's no reason that I can see to have anything but the ceremony she wants, with the minister she chooses, in the venue that makes her smile.  There shouldn't be any pressure, there shouldn't be any expectations, there shouldn't be anything but the celebration of a love that has weathered its storms and come out on the other end stronger and more committed than ever before.

It's a love story.  It's not an event.  People ought to recognize that and get out of her way.