The End of Xmas Vacations

There's an emptiness in the old homestead this evening. The Little Cuter landed safely at O'Hare this afternoon, and the Big Cuter is packing as I type. His plane leaves first thing in the morning, and I am already feeling bereft.

I was never one of those mothers who longed for the first day of school. The house echoed with the sounds of my footsteps .... and nothing else. No teasing, no poking, no whining, no screeching - all the sounds of kids who knew exactly how far they could go and who went there with glee. I could skip lunch and no one was the wiser.... or the hungrier. Groceries went into the cart without discussion. Errands were silent endeavors, devoid of explanations and side-trips to the toy store next door. I was efficient, but I was lonely. I missed the unscheduled chaos of summertime.

Don't get me wrong - I love the fact that the kids have their own lives separate and apart from their parents'. I'm just wishing that those lives were lived in closer proximity to ours. Tucson's not the best place for 20-somethings starting out, and we knew that when we moved here. It's a great place for vacations, and SIR and the Little Cuter will be coming for Spring Training (GO CUBBIES!!!) in March to escape Chicago's winter. The thought of that makes me smile, but I had to sigh and agree with her when she whimpered that she wished her dad could drive her home instead of dropping her off at the airport.

Sunday night found the Cuters next to each other on the couch, she urging him to look for work in Chicago as he attempted to relocate her to San Francisco. The Weather. The Cubs. Deep dish pizza. Shorts in January. The bike path -- they had to agree that both Tiburon and Chicago had great ones and they could both be happy about that. Otherwise, it seemed that each was happy in their own cities, with no plans to choose a new home town, even if a beloved sibling lived there.

I love that each wants the other to live closer. I love that they choose to spend their vacation days with their parents. These are good things. It's just that, sometimes, I wish it weren't so easy to live so far from your family.

I miss them.