tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post5799454555031041694..comments2024-03-28T12:12:29.813-07:00Comments on The Burrow: I'm Having a Hard TimeAshleigh Burroughshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-46769234433943513362013-12-19T08:05:10.569-07:002013-12-19T08:05:10.569-07:00I'm haunted but not stymied, I'm sad but n...I'm haunted but not stymied, I'm sad but not depressed, I miss her but I know she's better off. I agree with you, Rain - grieving is good. The seven days of shiva - which I made my own by doing what I wanted, when I wanted, leaving piles behind and tending to my heart and my soul and my loss - were a nice buffer between her death and resuming real life. AND, I have The Burrow to work it all out and get gentle feedback. <br /><br />I am blessed... tho lonely :)<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-46085367366267105972013-12-18T17:37:50.714-07:002013-12-18T17:37:50.714-07:00I am one of those who thinks it's healthy to g...I am one of those who thinks it's healthy to grieve. It isn't fun but sometimes we need to do it and I don't think there is some time limit or method on how it must be done. Give yourself permission, as it seems you are doing, to feel what you feel. If it goes on too long and leaves you feeling depressed, then get help for that. There are some good books out there on accepting dark times as part of the cycle of life. I find after a loss it can seem like it's all over and then it crops up again. Tears are healthy is what I think and although it might make those around us uncomfortable, it is a good thing to do.Rain Trueaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07994628226501093880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-35424348265953441542013-12-18T11:03:44.731-07:002013-12-18T11:03:44.731-07:00Issy, you don't sound a little or a lot crazy....Issy, you don't sound a little or a lot crazy. You sound profound. I love the image of the river... I'm thinking the NIle, flooding and feeding and receding and frightening but always present and moving. Inseparable. Thanks for this. I know I'll come back to it.<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-37007058230508294222013-12-18T10:14:51.805-07:002013-12-18T10:14:51.805-07:00There's a chance this is going to sound a litt...There's a chance this is going to sound a little (or a lot) crazy - but it's eased my heart and (I hope) maybe it'll mean something to you. <br /><br />Since I was a kid and first lost a person I loved I have had an image in my mind of grief being and behaving like a river ~ <br /><br />The level raises and lowers with no warning. Its direction can change for no obvious reason. It will overflow its banks, tearing your heart out with torrential force then be calm, sparkling and beautiful, sweeping wonderful memories to you. Peaceful as tho asking you sit awhile and remember the joy and love. (Sort of a heart-picnic, a brief respite from the heart crushing pain)...<br /><br />The river in it's flooding and changing of course etches you, changes your life. Nothing about the river, its banks or the person standing alongside it remains the same. That's why some people spend their life far from the river - safer. But I think love is the river ~ carrying joy and pain, dangerous and glorious. One inseparable from the other. Loving is counter-weighted with loss. Grief and sorrow sweep the same banks the joy and laughter do...<br /><br />Somehow, those images, ideas, have always made sense to me in a comforting way and eased the pain (a bit) <br /><br />OR like I said sounds a little (or a lot) crazy.....<br /><br />Thinking of you, Issy <br /><br /><br />Woman Seeking Centerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14940928888290866843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-84459940713940230022013-12-18T08:53:55.696-07:002013-12-18T08:53:55.696-07:00Glad to be of service, Ellyn. It makes me happy t...Glad to be of service, Ellyn. It makes me happy to know that my rantings and ramblings have a positive effect on someone other than ME :) I will find a place for all the feelings.... just don't know when or how.<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-76111999213129585052013-12-18T08:52:55.517-07:002013-12-18T08:52:55.517-07:00Thanks for the love, Olga..... having you all out ...Thanks for the love, Olga..... having you all out there in the ether helps so much!<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-65758603741417150102013-12-18T07:16:12.493-07:002013-12-18T07:16:12.493-07:00I dreamt about my mommy last night for the first t...I dreamt about my mommy last night for the first time in a long, long time. She passed in 2003, I can't believe it's been 10 years. Thank you for enabling that process, I truly feel the posts about Gma, prompted my dreams. I said before that Hospice is the best thing ever and you will know when to attend the grief counceling, it can be very helpful. I had to attend a couple different groups til I found the one that fit. As Olga said, you will carry her in your heart always. <br />My heartfelt condolences go out to you and yours.Ellynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-26921488461144760062013-12-18T06:08:45.127-07:002013-12-18T06:08:45.127-07:00You carry her in your heart always. Grief is a pr...You carry her in your heart always. Grief is a process and the pain eventually softens.<br />I am sorry for your great loss.Olgahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00692441479616299920noreply@blogger.com