tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post5595080950328949601..comments2024-03-28T12:12:29.813-07:00Comments on The Burrow: This is The New RealityAshleigh Burroughshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-37018305950149699382013-11-01T09:43:36.818-07:002013-11-01T09:43:36.818-07:00"these diseases are so evil" - well said..."these diseases are so evil" - well said, Rita! This is exactly what she did not want to happen, and we are powerless to alter the course. All I can do is hug and love and hope.... and read my comments to know that I am not alone <3<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-25020017129493107302013-11-01T09:42:34.342-07:002013-11-01T09:42:34.342-07:00So true, thormoo, so true. All I can do is bring ...So true, thormoo, so true. All I can do is bring her love and hope there's not much fear or pain. Having all of you out there in the ether is so very valuable, too. It's a cushion on which I rest my weary head.<br /><3<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-15105105791047982602013-10-31T10:08:19.288-07:002013-10-31T10:08:19.288-07:00My grandma had Alzheimer's and my aunt is curr...My grandma had Alzheimer's and my aunt is currently enduring Pick's. I remember my grandmother pocketing the food and the part that came when that phase was done. My heart goes out to you, as these diseases are so evil the way they rob us of the person who was. Bless you for doing right by her and keeping her happy and safe as she lives out her life. Making the decisions for her when she can no longer make them is the most loving thing a daughter can do. Rita Arenshttp://surrenderdorothy.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-91974277660945302552013-10-29T20:40:59.569-07:002013-10-29T20:40:59.569-07:00Several years ago I sold my home in Holland, MI an...Several years ago I sold my home in Holland, MI and moved two hours south to Coldwater Lake, MI to live with and care for my 2 "80 something" parents. We are at the very beginning of the process of decline that you so bravely (and accurately) describe above. My father 3 years older then Mother is in decline overdrive, Mum in 3rd gear but I find that daily I am shocked, befuddled or stunned by the unusual behavior, attitude or reaction of two people I have known and loved for over 50 years. They are changing so fast now that my ability to accept it is lagging seriously behind. How often I have wondered lately: "Who is this person in my Mum's body?!"<br /><br />But then something occurs and there they are...just like they always were. I know this is normal and it isn't going to stop until the day they move on from here. Really, deep down I am OK with that...i understand. Though it doesn't really matter if I do or don't understand and accept it because it is going to happen anyway.<br /><br />Thank you AB for your consistent openness and honesty about your Mom. It helps to know what others experiences are. And you know something? As difficult as this transition is and will be...I would not want to be anywhere else but right here with them. They are afraid of what is happening to them and familiarity and family bring comfort and consistency. If my presence helps even a little bit then I am more then willing to go the distance for them...God knows they have done it for me....thormoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14123682411248034307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-4375138363885108282013-10-29T14:40:59.688-07:002013-10-29T14:40:59.688-07:00Megan, as always, you relieve the guilt and set me...Megan, as always, you relieve the guilt and set me on a happier path. Thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks!<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-76168694017306663632013-10-29T14:40:17.890-07:002013-10-29T14:40:17.890-07:00Thanks, Berta <3 Your words soothe my soul, as...Thanks, Berta <3 Your words soothe my soul, as always. It's exactly that disconnect which makes me sorrowful. I'm going to make a concerted effort to concentrate on the good memories and not wallow in the sadness. It helps to know that you're out there, reading and offering advice and love.<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-796830347935872062013-10-29T10:29:03.364-07:002013-10-29T10:29:03.364-07:00I think you are going to have to put aside what yo...I think you are going to have to put aside what you remember about your mom and just focus on now. It's hard to let go of the impressions we have of our parents. But now you are the parent taking care of her. I'm sure at times you just want to curl up into a ball and have her make things better. That's what she has always done. She's the one that's been there for you. I'm glad that you are looking at this from a different perspective. I know how difficult it is, but you need to do this for your own sanity. You are doing what's best for her and deep down she knows how much you love her and are doing what you need to do. I don't think you should ever question your actions. Everything you are doing is out of love for your mom. <br /><br />Sending massive hugs!<br /><br /><br />Megan xxxMShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02622415628314992252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-21304128067322876822013-10-29T08:11:41.275-07:002013-10-29T08:11:41.275-07:00Dear a/b, This is a hard part, you the grown-up, u...Dear a/b, This is a hard part, you the grown-up, unable to make reality match your projected hopes for your mother's Golden Years. I would say to remember all the good years you both had of her aging before this new chapter. I take care of the elderly, and I was commiserating with the husband of the bed confined wife. I said I didn't imagine this was what they had planned for their Golden Years. His reply: "We've had a pretty good run." So know how happy your mother was for many, many years, and that she still is happy--maybe not by your picture, but apparently, judging your descriptions, by her current picture. I know it makes you sad--how could it not?---but remember, she isn't sad. So glad she has a daughter who loves her and cares for her! So glad you carry her memories for her, and have many shared happy ones. Blessings.Berta Bnoreply@blogger.com